How to Obtain Child Support After Relocating From the Father's State of Residence

Hey Dogmatique (and anyone else that may be able to help), I have more questions.

I am still counting down the days to file, and upon further research this evening, I have found a big mix of information.

My first question is when I go to file for CS, do I also need to file for custody? I apologize if this is a dumb question, as I am already the sole caretaker and always have been, but do I need to fill out paperwork requesting sole physical and legal custody? Do I need to file for emergency custody?

What documents should I be saving? Receipts for clothing and diapers?

Will my screenshots of text messages from Dad dated April and May of 2014 be helpful or even stand up in court? I've mentioned before that these texts say things such as:
"I'm not helping you with sh**. I'll sign my rights over. F*** you."

"I hope you have a miscarriage." and

"you think I was crazy before? I'll be in jail by that afternoon."

Also, should I request and fill out the form that seeks to keep my information private? I would prefer to only communicate with Dad through court, and fear that he will fly off the handle and harass me once he is served. I want to keep our communication to a minimal, but I don't want it to seem like I am keeping our son from him. Does that make sense?

I can assume that this case is going to start from the ground up, and that he is going to attempt to fight me as much as possible. DNA will have to be established, of course. What is the absolute worst case scenario, from a timeline perspective, for a final ruling to be reached? 6 months? a year?


Will he have to hire a WV lawyer?


This is what I've got for now, but I'm sure I will have more questions soon. Thank you!

If there's a threat, you report it to the police.

Other than that, just go down and file for child support. Because you're unwed you have by default sole physical and legal custody. Give them the information they ask for, and keep it simple.

Don't make it more complex than it needs to be! :)

In terms of a custody battle, there really won't be a battle. He'll file for <whatever>, you'll both go through the whole process and then you'll have court orders. The chances of him being awarded primary are slim to none, and slim went AWOL years ago.

You can request that your address is redacted, absolutely. But at some point you're going to need to communicate with each other - might I suggest something like My Family Wizard?

Bonus: the court can access your entire Family Wizard account and knowing that sometimes makes otherwise ornery parents behave themselves.

Thank you so much.

Now, is it going to look bad in the eyes of the court that I didn't keep him updated throughout my pregnancy, birth, and our sons life up to this point?

The way he handled everything early on in my pregnancy completely freaked me out, and I stopped communicating with him. He has made zero attempt through texts, social media, or mutual friends to find out about our son. He doesn't even know our son I s a boy, to my knowledge. So sad.

Does the responsibility fall on my shoulders? Or is it understandable why I kept him out of the loop after he made it so abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with this?

Also, as mentioned above, do you have a worst case scenario for a timeline before an order is in place?

How can I go about suggesting My Family Wizard? I'm sure he's going to text me horrible shit when WV serves him. If my memory serves me correctly, all logical solutions to co parenting go out the window when he's pissed. I imagine it may go something like this:
Him: "F*** you, B****!"
Me: So, uh.. can we talk on Family Wizard?

Thanks again for your help, Dogmatique.

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Also, what are your opinions on me sending photographs to him? I don't even know what the first thing I say to him should be.

"So, our sons name is Such n Such, born this day 2014" with pictures?

Do I send him this information after I file? Do I wait for him to contact me?

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Quoting SingleMom555

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My first question is when I go to file for CS, do I also need to file for custody?

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You don't have to. Simply find your nearest child support enforcement department and open a case.

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I apologize if this is a dumb question, as I am already the sole caretaker and always have been, but do I need to fill out paperwork requesting sole physical and legal custody?

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The child has no legal father, you have sole custody by default.

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Do I need to file for emergency custody?

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Emergency custody is for emergency. Nothing you've stated thus far equates to an emergency. Emergency is defined as being a case of loss of life, limb or perhaps a bonafide threat of kidnapping. You've not spoken to him, therefore none of those you can prove happened, nor has happened.

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What documents should I be saving? Receipts for clothing and diapers?

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None of those matter

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Will my screenshots of text messages from Dad dated April and May of 2014 be helpful or even stand up in court?

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Generally no. Text messages can be manipulated. Sure, you can expend the expense of issuing a subpoena to the cell phone company, but there's nothing in the texts that would change anything one way or another.

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I've mentioned before that these texts say things such as:"I'm not helping you with sh**. I'll sign my rights over. F*** you."
"I hope you have a miscarriage." and "you think I was crazy before? I'll be in jail by that afternoon."

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Honestly? None of that matters. He's allowed to have thoughts and say things in the heat of passion. There are men all over the place who have told their exes to have an abortion and end up being a stand up father.

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Also, should I request and fill out the form that seeks to keep my information private?

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He hasn't threatened to kill you and he has a right to know where his child is.

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I would prefer to only communicate with Dad through court, and fear that he will fly off the handle and harass me once he is served. I want to keep our communication to a minimal, but I don't want it to seem like I am keeping our son from him. Does that make sense?

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You've got 18 years to deal with him and unless you plan on keeping court employees employed over this next 18 years and you have an endless amount of money to pay because YOU would prefer to keep your communication through the court (because he may have something to tell you and/or you have something to tell him..) because YOUR decision to only communicate through court means you pay ALL of the filing and attorneys fees...

you might want to start reading some books on effective co-parenting

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I can assume that this case is going to start from the ground up, and that he is going to attempt to fight me as much as possible.

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I never recommend a man, not even one who initially didn't want a child roll over in court

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DNA will have to be established, of course.

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Absolutely

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What is the absolute worst case scenario, from a timeline perspective, for a final ruling to be reached? 6 months? a year?

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Family law is a marathon, not the 50 yard dash, and especially since you would prefer keeping all communicating through the court only, I would bank on it taking quite some time before an order is made because you don't wish to mediate or communicate.

Will he have to hire a WV lawyer?


This is what I've got for now, but I'm sure I will have more questions soon. Thank you![/QUOTE]

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Quoting SingleMom555

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Now, is it going to look bad in the eyes of the court that I didn't keep him updated throughout my pregnancy, birth, and our sons life up to this point?

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At this point, he has no child, so no, the court isn't going to look at you differently because you didn't keep him apprised of your child and pregnancy never counts.

Hm. Maybe I didn't articulate myself well, or perhaps you didn't read the entire thread, but it is not my intention to only communicate with him through the court system for the next 18 years. I only meant that I'd prefer to communicate with him through the court until an active order and parenting plan is established. Basically, I don't want to be harassed and called a bitch for the next 6 months while we wait for a judgement.

You're correct; nothing I have listed constitutes an emergency. I am new to this, but I have no intention of over-exaggerating, and only wanted to be sure that I am filling out the proper paperwork. No emergency order? No problem.

I am OK with mediating and co parenting, and would LIKE to do so. Please read my last response to Dogmatique where I requested her opinion on when and how I should go about offering information about our son. I want them to know each other, even though Dad basically told me to kick rocks. I want what's best for my son, and him knowing WHO his dad is is important to me.

My goodness.

the time is approaching for me to file, and I do have some questions. I hope that's ok.

still not a single word from dad.

my first question is:
Dad lives in FL. he has another child ( a little under 2 years older than my child) with another woman. Because of the fact that we haven't spoken in nearly a year and a half obviously makes it impossible for me to have a real grasp on where dad is in his life, but to my knowledge, dad and first mom share 50/50.

what type of effect will this have on the financial aspect of the support he will be ordered to pay my child? I'm assuming that a 50/50 order in place with dad's first child means he doesn't pay support? how is this going to affect us?

secondly, should I be seeking both physical and legal custody? I apologize if I sound uneducated I just need a clear goal. I don't want to be totally blindsided.

I'm OK with a visitation schedule, but is it outrageous for me to request supervised? For me to request legal as well?

Thanks!

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I know that most text messages don't hold up in court, but will the pages of texts I have of him acknowledging our son and my pregnancy at least be enough to prove that he did, in fact, know.

I see a lot of "but but but I had no idea, you're honor!" happening with this one.

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Quoting SingleMom555

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the time is approaching for me to file, and I do have some questions. I hope that's ok.

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Yep, it's ok!

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still not a single word from dad.

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Yeah, that happens sometimes.

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my first question is:
Dad lives in FL. he has another child ( a little under 2 years older than my child) with another woman. Because of the fact that we haven't spoken in nearly a year and a half obviously makes it impossible for me to have a real grasp on where dad is in his life, but to my knowledge, dad and first mom share 50/50.

what type of effect will this have on the financial aspect of the support he will be ordered to pay my child? I'm assuming that a 50/50 order in place with dad's first child means he doesn't pay support? how is this going to affect us?

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Not necessarily - a 50/50 timeshare doesn't always mean that there is no child support order. If there is (or rather, if he's paying Mom and not the other way around), it will be taken into account when you file. Let's see ... are you filing in FL?

Florida: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/...s/0061.30.html

WV: http://www.legis.state.wv.us/wvcode/...chap=48&art=13

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secondly, should I be seeking both physical and legal custody? I apologize if I sound uneducated I just need a clear goal. I don't want to be totally blindsided.

I'm OK with a visitation schedule, but is it outrageous for me to request supervised? For me to request legal as well?

Thanks!

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I know that most text messages don't hold up in court, but will the pages of texts I have of him acknowledging our son and my pregnancy at least be enough to prove that he did, in fact, know.

I see a lot of "but but but I had no idea, you're honor!" happening with this one.

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Forget the text messages. They won't help you, and it just makes judges and their extremely savvy clerks roll their eyes. You don't want that.

You can request sole legal (decision-making) custody, and whatever physical custody is appropriate. The court may award you joint legal, with you having residential custody and Dad having visitation. Because he's been absent, it very often will be ordered that initially at least he'll have supervised visitation in your locale.

How does that sound so far?

we reside in WV but dad lives in FL.

WV requires significantly less when I plug our information into both WV and FL calculators.

I'm assuming since I am filing in WV that that state will be the formula used? Or will it be the FL formula since dad earns his income in FL?

Thanks again for pulling through and helping me figure this out!

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Quoting SingleMom555

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the time is approaching for me to file, and I do have some questions. I hope that's ok.

still not a single word from dad.

my first question is:
Dad lives in FL. he has another child ( a little under 2 years older than my child) with another woman. Because of the fact that we haven't spoken in nearly a year and a half obviously makes it impossible for me to have a real grasp on where dad is in his life, but to my knowledge, dad and first mom share 50/50.

what type of effect will this have on the financial aspect of the support he will be ordered to pay my child? I'm assuming that a 50/50 order in place with dad's first child means he doesn't pay support? how is this going to affect us?

secondly, should I be seeking both physical and legal custody? I apologize if I sound uneducated I just need a clear goal. I don't want to be totally blindsided.

I'm OK with a visitation schedule, but is it outrageous for me to request supervised? For me to request legal as well?

Thanks!

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I know that most text messages don't hold up in court, but will the pages of texts I have of him acknowledging our son and my pregnancy at least be enough to prove that he did, in fact, know.

I see a lot of "but but but I had no idea, you're honor!" happening with this one.

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Once again, you do not need to file for custody. You already have sole legal and physical custody at this point. If dad wants visitation or some form of joint custody he will need to file for that, and he will need to file for that in West Virginia.

Just deal with the child support. Worry about anything else if and when it happens.

Thank you llworking.

Sorry if my questions are redundant. I've looked back on my thread and am now up to speed on where I stand.

Now, if he DOES want to file for visitation etc, is he required to apply in person in NC? Or can he apply from FL via mail?

Also, what information should I bring with me when I file? Last known address and phone number? Any other information?

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Nevermind, I just read through the NC application and it's pretty cut and dry.

I'm all set for now, thank you guys!