Can a Father Make a Child Visit for the Summer Against His Wishes

if that's an issue, mom needs to hop on getting him some help for it, very quickly.

She sure does, because it's NOT going to get the kid out of visiting Dad.

Quote:

---

The father does not want to aknowledge my son'n decision

---

Good. Because 1) he doesn't have to and 2) your son doesn't get a say in the matter.

A court order means ORDER. It's not a suggestion. Explain this to him, and get your head wrapped around it as well. Your son is 12, he is not in charge. He doesn't get to make a "decision" in this until he is 18.

I've read and re-read this several times this morning.

Mom -

If you don't act to quell this nonsense, you will be doing your son a great, great disservice. Do you really want to teach him that if he finds the right excuses he doesn't have to do X, Y or Z?

Think very carefully about this. And yes, much of this is about your fears and wants. You have to stop that.

Well, if it's a true phobia, it needs a diagnosis from a medical doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist before Mom can claim it's a legit reason to keep Junior from flying.

Quote:

---

Quoting llworking

---

At somewhere between 10-12 I had a bad phobia type fear about tornados. I had never been in one, but I was so scared of them that if there were any clouds in the sky at all, I had a very anxious day. It took a long while to get over it. I could see a child have a fear of flying if they had seen news about plane crashes...like the plane that got shot down over the Ukraine. That was pretty horrific.

I am not saying that he does for sure, I am merely saying that if that's an issue, mom needs to hop on getting him some help for it, very quickly.

---

but why did you have that fear? I suspect it is due to the adults around you expressed a great fear of storms and possible tornadoes.

I suspect mom is transferring her fears or anxiety onto the child and claiming the child has this fear. Children are taught to act in response to stimuli. There is no natural inherent fear of a storm or even flying so unless the child has experienced flying, the only reason to express fear is he was taught to fear it.

Quote:

---

Quoting jk

---

but why did you have that fear? I suspect it is due to the adults around you expressed a great fear of storms and possible tornadoes.

I suspect mom is transferring her fears or anxiety onto the child and claiming the child has this fear. Children are taught to act in response to stimuli. There is no natural inherent fear of a storm or even flying so unless the child has experienced flying, the only reason to express fear is he was taught to fear it.

---

That's what I think is going on, too. Mom's got Junior all riled up, and like I said, if she presented the trip as something fun and a chance to be like a grown-up, he'd have a whole different outlook.

Mom, if you are going to claim phobia, take Junior to a doctor asap Monday- or rethink what you're doing.