Accusing Somebody of a Sex Offense When They Threaten You With a Restraining Order

My question involves criminal law for the state of: CA

This female who is now 32 has just threatened me with a bs restraining order just because she was upset over some of our texts.

Needless to say, I am not even contacting her (aside from like 1 phone call) 1 minute after she said do not contact, after that, I ceased.

But I save all my texts and phone calls.

She was 28 and I was 16 and we would phone sex etc, and I have records upon records and phone call records of all them.

Is it illegal for a woman to have phone sex with a minor, send naked images to a minor(which I have dated, timed,email record), and three, will she actually go to jail and be criminally charged?

One single contact in 4 years is not likely to get a restraining order. If however, this has been an ongoing thing for the past three or four years, depending on the content of your communications you might very well be subject to a restraining order. Though, if she was sending a minor naked images and making sexual commentary to you as a minor, she is not going to want to make this an issue. But, as you are no longer a minor and kept this to yourself, I doubt it will be too huge a deal should your actions now rise to the level of harassment, stalking, blackmail or threats.

That being said, stop communicating with her in any way. Leave her be and go your own way as well.

It was texts recently.she got mad because I called her out on bs.threatened to get an order because I texted her to meet for sex, apparently sometimes she loves it and sometimes she wants an order.

Regardless, can I slap her with crime if she wants to threaten me further with an order? Is it wise to even let her know what I have on her or not.

Honestly, I find people going to the law childish, but this chick has purposely pissed me of so much in the past few years I wouldn't mind shoving her in prison and allowing the long letter of the law punish her for her crimes, and I'm not the rat out type

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Quoting Dave3827

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It was texts recently.she got mad because I called her out on bs.threatened to get an order because I texted her to meet for sex, apparently sometimes she loves it and sometimes she wants an order.

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Then stop communicating with her! It really is quite simple!

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Regardless, can I slap her with crime if she wants to threaten me further with an order? Is it wise to even let her know what I have on her or not.

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Threatening to report her for a crime unless she does what you want is a serious felony in CA ... it is called extortion (aka "blackmail"). I doubt the police or the court will look on any revenge report you make with any sympathy and it is likely to backfire on you.

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Honestly, I find people going to the law childish, but this chick has purposely pissed me of so much in the past few years I wouldn't mind shoving her in prison and allowing the long letter of the law punish her for her crimes, and I'm not the rat out type

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You can both go to prison. Or, maybe just you.

True victims need the law for help ... you want to use it to get your way and pay her back for bruising your childish ego. Grow up and move on.

No, I'm not threatening her to get my way.I am saying if she somehow decides to get an order on me (she just hates me let her try anyway), should I tell her I can report her to or not?

Needless to say she commited a crime that could send her to prison.

I am a victim, I was raped

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Quoting Dave3827

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No, I'm not threatening her to get my way.I am saying if she somehow decides to get an order on me (she just hates me let her try anyway), should I tell her I can report her to or not?

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You can tell her that, but, it will still look vindictive to the police and the prosecutor. CAN she be charged? Sure. And, depending on whyat she claims you said to her, you might be able to be charged as well.

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Needless to say she commited a crime that could send her to prison.

I am a victim, I was raped

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No, you were NOT "raped." Rape is done by force or fear. She engaged in unlawful acts, but, unless done by force or fear, it was not rape.

COULD she go to prison for sending you nude photos of herself? Yes. Would it be likely? No.

It better be likely. She should see prison because she's a c*nt. Playing games, one week she calls me to go out, next week plays with my mind. I think she has psychologically damaged me. What kind of woman fks a 17yo and phone sexes him?

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Quoting Dave3827

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It better be likely. She should see prison because she's a c*nt. Playing games, one week she calls me to go out, next week plays with my mind. I think she has psychologically damaged me.

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We don't send people to prison because they are merely irritating, play dating games, or don’t do what you want them to do. If you don’t like how she’s acting then just stop having anything to with her. It’s really not difficult. Trying to get her sent to prison now just because you don’t like the games she’s playing comes across as overly vindictive and, frankly, a bit immature. I can’t see the police and prosecutor being real eager to help you with that.

Phone sex and sending you naked pictures are not likely to get her prosecuted, let alone jail. If she actually had sex with you at age 17 and the sex took place in California, that would be more serious. Still no guarantee the prosecutor would be interested in it now after so many years. But understand that if you make that criminal complaint, she may well respond with a complaint about your posssible harrassment of her. Would the possibility that she might go to prison be worth the risk that you might also end up facing criminal prosecution? Think carefully about what you wish for, because you may get more than you bargained for here.

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Quoting Dave3827

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It better be likely. She should see prison because she's a c*nt. Playing games, one week she calls me to go out, next week plays with my mind. I think she has psychologically damaged me. What kind of woman fks a 17yo and phone sexes him?

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What kind of ADULT (as you now are) maintains such a relationship and thinks that if he threatens someone that they will give in to his demands?

I seriously doubt you will appear to be the sympathetic party here.

Stop contacting her and move on with your life, and the chances of a restraining order will be slim to nil.

She called me saying let's date and I called back two weeks later. She got mad when I called her out on something and randomly said she wants to get an order. What do you want me to do

Here's one idea: Act like a grown-up and move on with your life.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Here's one idea: Act like a grown-up and move on with your life.

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ok, but how should i defend myself in the 1% chance she were to get an order?

Defend yourself against what?

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Quoting Dave3827

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She called me saying let's date and I called back two weeks later. She got mad when I called her out on something and randomly said she wants to get an order. What do you want me to do

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I am suggesting again that you stop having contact with her. If you have not threatened her or made repeated unwanted communications, she almost certainly cannot get a restraining order. But, you seem to be trying your best to make it happen.

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Quoting Dave3827

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ok, but how should i defend myself in the 1% chance she were to get an order?

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You go into court on the date assigned by the court and explain why there is no grounds for the order to be made "permanent."

No I am not planning on further contact at all whatsoever. Hate when people try to use the law as their personal hit man or to try to ruin people. I don't like that an order can restrict you from buying guns.

However, who knows she hates me and is jealous enough to do it. A lawyer is better than going alone I don't like courts and judges and might act up and cuss the life out of her and the judge and get in trouble.

Regardless, I don't think she'll do anything anyway.

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Quoting Dave3827

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No I am not planning on further contact at all whatsoever. Hate when people try to use the law as their personal hit man or to try to ruin people. I don't like that an order can restrict you from buying guns.

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Well, when people feel that they are being harassed and "no" doesn't work, then the law is a logical next step.

If you don't like the fact that a TRO stops you from buying guns, don't do anything that might convince a court to issue one.

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However, who knows she hates me and is jealous enough to do it. A lawyer is better than going alone I don't like courts and judges and might act up and cuss the life out of her and the judge and get in trouble.

Regardless, I don't think she'll do anything anyway.

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If you follow your original statement and no longer contact her, then you should not have anything to worry about.

What would ppl say if the situation was reversed, and i was a 28 yo guy banging a 16 yo girl? Obviously I would be demonized here, reported to the fbi etc.. Ppl do not take the crime too seriously when a female does it

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Quoting Dave3827

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What would ppl say if the situation was reversed, and i was a 28 yo guy banging a 16 yo girl? Obviously I would be demonized here, reported to the fbi etc.. Ppl do not take the crime too seriously when a female does it

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I'd say if the 16 year old girl was here years later threatening extortion she should also face the possibility of criminal charges for any threats or blackmail.

You can twist it all you want, but, the long and short of it is that the two of you have had a strange, twisted, and lengthy relationship and now that you did not like the response she gave you when you wanted what YOU wanted, you want to know if you can send her to prison. Yes, she committed a couple of potential felonies for engaging in sexual relations with you and sending you pornography. But, your actions linking a threat to report her actions to the police unless you get something from her (like NOT obtaining a TRO, or providing sexual favors) is also a felony that holds state prison time.

Sure, she was immature and whacked for seeking out the sexual favors of a minor, but, that was four years ago. And while the act is still technically able to be prosecuted, if you were to raise it now because you got mad at her the police and the prosecutor would be very unlikely to pursue it.

So, one more time ... leave her be, move on and grow up. See if you can enter into a mature and HEALTHY relationship rather than whatever that one was.

OK. I attempted your last comment as well... Anyhow, if that's what she wants, then that's what she'll get