Extortion by an Ex-Boyfriend

My question involves defamation in the state of: NC

Ok this is a somewhat complicated situation and I'm not sure this is exactly the correct place for it.

I am a nurse and was recently assigned a student nurse in his last semester to train with. During this time he was very flirtatious with me. We were both separated from our spouses. Eventually we had a completely consensual relationship that did involve sex. This was more than just a one night stand type of thing. Very bad judgement on my part, and his. Well after some time things sort of broke down. He told his school what was going on and my job also found out. He was actually removed from the program due to his decision to leave in the middle of a shift but he appealed and was reinstated in the program. I had broken it off with him because my instincts were telling me that he was in it for money. During the several months we were in a relationship I did help him with a bill or two and a car repair. He got fired from his job in the hospital where I work.

Now he has sent me several text messages saying that if I don't give him 8500 now and another 40,000 when I sell my house he plans to file a lawsuit against me and claim that I threatened him with exposing our relationship to his school if he did not continue. This is ridiculous, it never happened, in fact he was the one who made the school aware of the situation after he was removed from the program. He claims to have people who would say that they heard me tell him this which is simply impossible. Does this qualify as extortion? He has given me a "deadline" by which I must give him this money and of course I have no intention of paying it.

His background is somewhat interesting also. In his 20's he spent 33 months in federal prison for robbing a bank. The school apparently did not uncover this in their background check due to the charges being more than 10 years old.

He has nothing, in terms of ammunition against you, as you've correctly determined. Your job is aware of what happened, and the situation is now over and done with - so you have a decision to make. Either take the messages and file a police report against him, or ignore him completely.

You know him better than we do - what would his next step be?

- - - Updated - - -

Depending on how you think he'd respond, I'd also consider sending a copy of the police report to his school, too.

I don't really think I am in much danger of a law suit so it is an empty threat at this point. I am somewhat concerned that someone who would go to such extreme measures twice now when desperate for money should probably not be out in a position where they are caring for vulnerable populations. He might get angry and try to tell my family things about me, which doesn't really bother me. I did a dumb thing and I completely own that. I just wasn't sure if the police would take it seriously or not.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and he claims this to be a "settlement offer". My understanding is that a settlement offer would come after a lawsuit had been filed, not to keep it from being filed. Is that correct?

personally I would file the police report, he can claim it's a settlement offer all he wants, it'll be up to the DA to determine if they think it's worth charging him and if charged it'll be a question of fact for the jury to decide.

Quote:

---

Quoting rnmomnc

---

I don't really think I am in much danger of a law suit so it is an empty threat at this point. I am somewhat concerned that someone who would go to such extreme measures twice now when desperate for money should probably not be out in a position where they are caring for vulnerable populations. He might get angry and try to tell my family things about me, which doesn't really bother me. I did a dumb thing and I completely own that. I just wasn't sure if the police would take it seriously or not.

- - - Updated - - -

Oh and he claims this to be a "settlement offer". My understanding is that a settlement offer would come after a lawsuit had been filed, not to keep it from being filed. Is that correct?

---

I still can't figure out why you would "owe" him anything. Can you explain please? Because from where I'm sitting, he has absolutely nothing. And yes, I'd probably take my proof straight to his school. Don't even talk to him again. If he calls, let it go to voicemail. The texts? Save them all. It's not always easy to get them admitted into evidence, but it's not impossible either.

What is worrying me is the unspoken threat of something worse. If you do inform the school, is he going to take things further?

I'm really not sure why he thinks I owe him. He had mentioned several times wanting us to move in together and I had told him that maybe that could happen eventually but I had kids and needed to take things slowly. He blames me for the fact that he isn't with his wife now. She had made some comments to him about wanting to work things out with him while we were together and he told her about me. My understanding is that she is also constantly in a financial bind. I think he saw me as someone who is trusting and generous and hard working and figured he could sit back and let me take care of him. He worked as a nurse aide and was fired for abandonment from that job for walking out after they refused to change his schedule.

He really hasn't threatened anything in particular other than the false accusations and is like to think he wouldn't hurt me or my family but the truth is I really can't be sure. I have been stressed out at work because I am afraid he will show up here. I think though that he was counting on me being afraid enough of his threats that I would just give him the money. He knows that I have it.