Erotomanic Stalker or Paranoia

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Virginia

I'm in a tricky situation currently, I don't have any hard proof that I'm being stalked, (Pictures of the person, sightings, or recent threats) but there are some things happening that I cannot ignore.

The person I suspect of stalking me was a former co-worker whom I 'befriended' when my father (who worked with this man also) had a stroke and I was staying at the hospital with him. It started out friendly enough, since I didn't have a car he would take me to the store and drop paperwork off for FMLA and etc. We would talk and hang out sometimes even once I returned to my apartment and started a new job, eventually he admitted to having feelings for me and thought we should date (I'm 21 and he is in his late 30s) I informed him many times I wasn't interested but gradually he got more persistent with things like saying we should sign a lease together and that even though I won't admit it, we are clearly in a relationship. Around that time I started to get that creepy vibe from him and started to drop contact, he started to show signs of a bad temper so I cut all contact and did not speak to him anymore, he continued to send me messages about how we should be together and would leave gifts on my car (books, stuffed animals, etc) I didn't reply to the messages and I threw them all out and things calmed down.

About two months later I moved to Virginia and started dating, for the longest time I didn't hear anything from him until a message stating that we are meant to be and he wants to be together forever, he's lost without me, etc etc no threat or anything so like the others I deleted it and moved on with my life. Shortly after I started to get the feeling of being watched and followed (I'm on a third shift schedule so I come and go during night hours) I let it go because it felt illogical to feel that way at the time, I had no reason to think or feel that way. Within a week or so I was driving home when a streetlight caught what to me appeared to be his name written in the dirt on the passenger side of my windshield, again I dismissed it because I couldn't see it clearly enough to know for sure. Today however I was again driving home at night when my tire started to make a weird clunking noise, when I got home I found that three of my right rear tire's lug nuts were missing and the other two were very loose. None of my other tires had any loose when I checked later.

I know all of this probably comes across as a stretch, but I just can't shake the feeling and as my boyfriend lives with me I'm worried that maybe this guy found out and is angry since he thinks we are meant to be. Upon research I found he fits the bill for someone suffering from erotomanic delusions, if I am correct. I don't want to alert the police with the lack of proof I have but if he's gone as far as messing with my car I'm worried he may cut brake lines or worse.

What should my course of action be? What are my options?

Oh, honey, that scares me too. But you're also right that you don't have a lot to go on at the moment.

It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to file a police report just to get it on the record. After that, and I do not mean this offensively, I'd get myself some counselling. Before you say that you're not the one with the problem, let me say that there are two reasons for this. One, a trained counselor might be able to give you some advice on things to be watching for that will give you more proof one way or the other. And the other reason is that I have a little experience with stalking and counselling can help you deal with that creepy feeling. It can do no harm and may well do some good.

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Quoting cbg

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Oh, honey, that scares me too. But you're also right that you don't have a lot to go on at the moment.

It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to file a police report just to get it on the record. After that, and I do not mean this offensively, I'd get myself some counselling. Before you say that you're not the one with the problem, let me say that there are two reasons for this. One, a trained counselor might be able to give you some advice on things to be watching for that will give you more proof one way or the other. And the other reason is that I have a little experience with stalking and counselling can help you deal with that creepy feeling. It can do no harm and may well do some good.

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Can I file an actual report even though I don't have the messages anymore and the rest isn't much to go on? I don't want to try and look like a paranoid nut-case in the process in case at a later time I need to file a full report, but if I can file one just to have one on record and maybe have someone drive by my place occasionally I would feel a lot better.

I was thinking about getting a counselor, but I'll probably wait until my insurance plan is a bit better so it's not so expensive. Honestly, in the long run it would be better if I'm just paranoid. I'd much rather that to having a stalker, especially one that may intend to do harm.

Thank you for your advice!

Go down to the local police station and ask to speak with an officer, tell them just what you said here and request an area check of your residence and work place on occasion.
If you can remember the plate number, make, model, year and color of vehicle he drives provide that as well.
Crime Victim Advocates and/or Domestic Violence Advocates can often provide information and referrals to resources that might be beneficial such as the counseling cbg suggested.