How to Evict an Adult Child in Georgia
My question involves an eviction in the state of: Georgia
My son quit HS and moved out of the house at 17. He was allowed to move back in with his 20yo girlfriend last year due to them saying they were in grave danger where they were living. The conditions of them moving back in were that he complete his HS education, behave appropriately, that they both help out around the house, with his ultimate goal being to join the military upon completion of HS, all verbally agreed to 5 months ago.
He will turn 18 in a few weeks. His GF works 2 jobs, really is no problem, except for her enabling his wrong behaviors. Although he is signed up in an accredited online HS program that we pay for, he makes no effort to complete HS. He will not look for a job. On the rare occasion that he does anything to help at home, he considers he is doing us a favor. He drinks and smokes marijuana regularly. He feels entitled to a vehicle to drive and anything he wants. He has crashed 2 vehicles in 6 months and stays angry because we will not not give him a vehicle to drive. We drive his GF to/from her jobs.
He went to jail on a domestic violence charge (against his father in the home - not an uncommon occurrence) a month ago. He must appear in court for that charge 2 weeks after his 18th birthday which is in a 5 weeks. His GF bailed him out of jail, which is why he is back home now. He tells us regularly all that we owe him and that we don't have any choice but to allow him to continue living at home. He is hateful, disrespectful, demanding, lazy, ungrateful and there is no peace when he is home. We, his parents, work hard, always have, have had no legal issues, and have a large family that we try to do for, and this adult son is consuming most of our resources financially, emotionally, etc. It has to stop. We want him out and by extension that will mean his GF, also.
He is not the type to be reasoned with. Verbal communication is impossible. He is very intelligent. It is disappointing to see him the way he is because he has so much potential but he instead uses our love for him against us in a disgraceful way. He was not overly indulged growing up, was raised by a military father, and as parents we have always made our expectations for behavior clear and modeled what we expect. We have tolerated a lot due to realizing a few years ago that he is likely bipolar, and we had hoped continuing to offer him stable parents, a stable life that includes responsibilities, expectations, and consequences might help him to find some level ground to function. We have reached a point where tolerating anything further is not possible. His attitude and behaviors are not how he was raised and are not something we can continue to be part of. We need to take back our life and home.
What is the process to evict him in GA?
Can he be evicted when he turns 18, even though he has not finished HS?
Can the process of eviction start now even though he will not be 18 for another 5 weeks?
What is the process to evict his GF and can it all be done as 1 process/eviction or does it have to be separate?
Thank you for any guidance you can offer.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
If this is child is 17, he's not an adult. He's a child. However, here was where, at least in this instance, you went wrong (although it appears that there were TONS of parenting mistakes made where this child is concerned over the years):
Quote:
Quoting
TiredInGeorgia
My son quit HS and moved out of the house at 17. He was allowed to move back in with his 20yo girlfriend
Who gives their minor child permission to move back in and shack up with their adult girlfriend??? :confused::confused::confused::wallbang:
Anyway, read this http://www.dca.ga.gov/housing/Housin...t_Handbook.pdf
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Quote:
Quoting
CourtClerk
If this is child is 17, he's not an adult. He's a child. However, here was where, at least in this instance, you went wrong (although it appears that there were TONS of parenting mistakes made where this child is concerned over the years):
Who gives their minor child permission to move back in and shack up with their adult girlfriend??? :confused::confused::confused::wallbang:
Anyway, read this
http://www.dca.ga.gov/housing/Housin...t_Handbook.pdf
Thank you for this response. I am new to this site, and your response goes a long way in revealing to me whether posting and reading here is worth my time investment.
The law may be fairly black and white. Parenting, on the other hand is not. I did not ask for advice on my parenting decision about allowing my son to return home with his GF. Actually, I did not ask for anyone's input on my parenting. I am a great parent which means I have made mistakes and I know when and how to own them. I know it is commonplace for people to judge parents and say bad parenting is the cause or excuse for a child's poor choices/behavior, but that is not always the case. You are ignorant of our situation in full and so you have not only judged us, you have also judged us unfairly. You would do well to recognize when people post brief personal details to give background for their legal questions, they are not inviting you to remark on those details. If you have something to offer regarding my clear legal questions, I thank you in advance. Otherwise, I do not intend to read or respond to your blind judgement of my parenting choices.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
I gave you the legal answer to your question. The rest of it is just a bonus. No, you're not a GREAT parent if your 17 year old has so little respect for you that he has to carry on like this. No, you're not a great parent if you allow your UNDERAGE child to live with and most likely have sex with said child under your roof.
Have a splendid evening.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
"He went to jail on a domestic violence charge (against his father in the home - not an uncommon occurrence) a month ago. He must appear in court for that charge 2 weeks after his 18th birthday which is in a 5 weeks."
Consider requesting a restraining order against him during the court hearing.
Otherwise, review what Clerk Court included in his posting.
It is easy to file for a dispossessory (Georgia's version of an eviction). However, since it appears he pays no rent himself, it might be questionable as to whether he is even considered a tenant (thus the suggestion for a restraining order).
If the GIRLFRIEND is paying rent, then they might be considered to have a tenancy at will (i.e., a month to month lease). Such leases can be terminated by the landlord in Georgia with a 60 day written notice to the tenant. If they fail to move out then you would file against them for being "hold over" tenants.
Gail
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Quote:
Quoting
CourtClerk
If this is child is 17, he's not an adult. He's a child. However, here was where, at least in this instance, you went wrong (although it appears that there were TONS of parenting mistakes made where this child is concerned over the years):
Who gives their minor child permission to move back in and shack up with their adult girlfriend??? :confused::confused::confused::wallbang:
Anyway, read this
http://www.dca.ga.gov/housing/Housin...t_Handbook.pdf
I see you are listed as a senior member here. Out of respect for that title, I am choosing to respond to your comments.
I am a great parent because I love with my whole heart my children, have been a great role model for them, have trained them in what is good and right, have treated them with patience and kindness, have disciplined them when needed, have rewarded them when appropriate, have strived to inspire them to follow their dreams and talents and have provided all 6 of them with a stable 2-parent home. Not one of them ever spent a single day in daycare and never saw their parents receive a single dollar of welfare.
My 17yo having so little respect, is a character flaw in him and choice he makes, not a reflection of my parenting.
As far as "allowing" my child and his GF to live in our home, by law I am required to allow him to live in my home. I allow his GF because he is intolerable to live with, likely due to mental illness, but with her, he is only sometimes intolerable. It is the path of least resistance, which great parents sometimes have to be wise enough to choose. …just like I also choose to believe you're not an idiot with too much time on your hands just because you're make a point to post judgmental, unkind, unnecessary comments to people on this site who are asking for help.
You'll be happy to know you did succeed in one thing. I'll just hire an attorney, and not seek help on sites like these after today. May God bless you.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
character is a learned quality so to this:
Quote:
My 17yo having so little respect, is a character flaw in him and choice he makes, not a reflection of my parenting.
in fact it does reflect on your parenting.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
You are allowing your son to control you. If he is smoking marijuana, that is against federal and state law in Georgia. You can turn him in and leave him in jail. If the gf thinks of bailing him out, tell her that she will have to find another place to live. If you believe he is truly suffering from a mental illness and isn't just rude, lazy and violent, get him professional medical help. That is your responsibility as a parent.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
You allow him an adult girlfriend because you don't have the backbone to say no, which is why he now walks all over the two of you.
If he slugs his father, it's a matter of time before he assaults a member of the general public.
If you think he has a mental illness, see what you can do about getting him some treatment while he is still your responsibility.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
This article summarizes your duty to support your child. "The Georgia Code requires each parent to provide for the maintenance, protection, and education of his or her child until the child reaches the age of majority or age 20, if the child is enrolled in a secondary school." If you have a continuing duty of support, you can fulfill that duty by helping your adult child live somewhere other than your home.
Here's a brief summary of eviction procedure. Assuming you have no continuing duty of support, you can give proper notice to quit before your child turns 18, and can commence eviction afterward. You can give simultaneous notice to his girlfriend and evict her in the same proceeding, and you may proceed against her even if you cannot evict him.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Thank you very much. I will review this information. I appreciate your time and response.
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To the haters:
Again, you have made many false assumptions. This child has had psychiatric care for years, has been on and off probation for years, and helping him has confounded these medical and legal professionals in the same way he has us, his parents. I sincerely hope you or someone you love never has to experience what our family has. But if you ever do invest years of your life committed to loving and parenting a child who is troubled, I hope you'll remember your remarks to me and feel some shame, though I have no reason to believe you will.
Gail/Mr. Knowitall,
Thank you both very much for your efforts to respond to my legal questions in a kind, professional way. I appreciate the guidance and will review you information/links.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
You said he was "likely" bi-polar, now you say he's been in psych care for "years." Surely he has a diagnosis? Either he's mentally ill or not.
Good luck with your efforts.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
LOL...now I'm to answer to all the psychiatric professionals who want to pick apart my personal details. That is right. He is "likely" bipolar. He has oppositional defiant disorder. Most good psychiatrists/psychologists are hesitant to "label" any person under the age of 18 with a diagnosis like bipolar. Being married to retired military, I would have to agree and appreciate that approach. Labeling/diagnosing someone who does not have a fully developed frontal lobe is not something to be taken lightly. The effects that a diagnosis might have on that person's future can be far reaching.
People, stop trying to pick apart every little word I have said and find fault. It's so petty and unnecessary and you shouldn't waste your time that way.
If I had it to do over again, I would not have posted to this forum. It is not what I thought it was going to be. I certainly would not have mentioned any personal details about my situation. In the professional setting that I thought I was posting, those details would not have been the focus of discussion. I had hoped the clearly stated legal questions would capture the interest of people with knowledge and experience who wished to be helpful.
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Really? So... My son has been raised in a home with both his mother and father who are college-educated, hard-working people who have reputations of being upstanding citizens who have never been in legal trouble and who have respectful relationships with our parents, mother-in-law in fact living with us currently and I am her primary caregiver. He was never sent off to daycare. My husband is retired from the US Army and achieved that status by knowing now to obey authority as well as been an authority. I have run my own business, successfully for 20 years and have all the character qualities that requires. All 6 of our children were raised in church, older 5 going to a church-affiliating private school on our dime for much of their schooling and then being enrolled and part of a military school/community, actively involved in sports, world traveled, loved and cared for consistently, always. Oh...and let me edit this post to add, parents who do not smoke and have never done drugs. My husband won't even drink a glass of wine with dinner.
...and according to you, my son choosing to be a mean-spirited, lazy idiot is because of our parenting? ...is a reflection of us? Sorry whoever your are, but that's just plain stupid and you know it.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
As a parent of two sons (who, thank goodness, are now in their 30's), I gotta say that many 17 year olds are simply pain in the butts. One of mine certainly was. He is gay and "came out" around that age and for the next three years, life was one heck of a merry-go-round of "entitlements" from him. Someone told me he'd calm down by the time he was 30. I told them I'd be long dead by then.
At one point I kicked him out of my house two days before Christmas and he was unaware that legally I could not do this without formally evicting him. I did use the services of law enforcement as he had threatened me and they wanted me to press charges against him for making "terroristic threats" against me but I could not do that and he didn't realize he had the legal right to return to my house if he wished. Which is why I suggested the restraining order during your sons upcoming court hearing.
Kicking him out was one of the hardest things I had to do and the second hardest thing was not letting him back in. I hope you and your husband have the strength NOT to let him back in again until he has proven himself worthy of rejoining your family.
If there's a bright spot to all of this, my son finally got his head out of his rear end, went back to school, graduated from our local medical school and is now head of a medical records department in a large medical facility in Houston, making more than twice what I make as a registered dietitian. So, perhaps there is hope for your son sometime down the road as long as he doesn't use any supposed psychiatric diagnoses as a crutch for simply bad behavior and entitlement demands common amongst the young.
Gail
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Quote:
Quoting
TiredInGeorgia
LOL...now I'm to answer to all the psychiatric professionals who want to pick apart my personal details. That is right. He is "likely" bipolar. He has oppositional defiant disorder. Most good psychiatrists/psychologists are hesitant to "label" any person under the age of 18 with a diagnosis like bipolar. Being married to retired military, I would have to agree and appreciate that approach. Labeling/diagnosing someone who does not have a fully developed frontal lobe is not something to be taken lightly. The effects that a diagnosis might have on that person's future can be far reaching.
People, stop trying to pick apart every little word I have said and find fault. It's so petty and unnecessary and you shouldn't waste your time that way.
If I had it to do over again, I would not have posted to this forum. It is not what I thought it was going to be. I certainly would not have mentioned any personal details about my situation. In the professional setting that I thought I was posting, those details would not have been the focus of discussion. I had hoped the clearly stated legal questions would capture the interest of people with knowledge and experience who wished to be helpful.
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Really? So... My son has been raised in a home with both his mother and father who are college-educated, hard-working people who have reputations of being upstanding citizens who have never been in legal trouble and who have respectful relationships with our parents, mother-in-law in fact living with us currently and I am her primary caregiver. He was never sent off to daycare. My husband is retired from the US Army and achieved that status by knowing now to obey authority as well as been an authority. I have run my own business, successfully for 20 years and have all the character qualities that requires. All 6 of our children were raised in church, older 5 going to a church-affiliating private school on our dime for much of their schooling and then being enrolled and part of a military school/community, actively involved in sports, world traveled, loved and cared for consistently, always. Oh...and let me edit this post to add, parents who do not smoke and have never done drugs. My husband won't even drink a glass of wine with dinner.
...and according to you, my son choosing to be a mean-spirited, lazy idiot is because of our parenting? ...is a reflection of us? Sorry whoever your are, but that's just plain stupid and you know it.
You are now putting words in my mouth (assuming this is directed at me). You need to just take a walk and cool off. You came here and revealed certain facts in your initial post that would cause the average person to do a double-take. Now you want to lash out at anyone who even so much as raises an eyebrow? I'm sorry, but that's life.
Nobody here is perfect. Many people here have raised kids and made mistakes while doing so. There are reasons why I asked about the diagnosis- there may have been avenues you could pursue if he was under the care of a doc but instead you lashed out in defensiveness.
Have a nice life.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Wow...Thank you for sharing the bad and the good! It is inspiring to hear about someone reaching a turning point and actually making a new life. You must feel so much relief and happiness for him.
We saw the biggest negative change in my son after my biological brother visited for about 2 weeks not quite 2 years ago. He is literally a genius. I have lost count of the degrees he has, from NC State and Duke University. Had an appointment to Annapolis. I won't even keep on with his accolades because they make little difference with how he lives. He is bipolar. He lives in a basement, alone, drinks nonstop, smokes nonstop, lives on inheritance and military disability that he lied and manipulated to get, and is one of the sickest people I know. He stayed up around the clock and did all of that while he was visiting, and after about a week, I realized my son had been staying up with him. I am certain that was very education for my son in the most negative way. My husband finally had to tell my brother it was time for him to leave. After that, we noticed many undesirable things being said and done by my son. You would think if your kids have been raised a certain way and then they are exposed to something that is the polar opposite they would be shocked and lean toward what they know. Not our son. He seemed fascinated by the manipulative power of my brother's genius. He saw the endless supply of money, inherited which will eventually run out at the rate my brother is going through it, and he thinks my brother is living the life. My son has never seen my brother in his own environment. He's never gone around town with him, like I have, and seen how people look at and treat him like the town idiot. My son just sees that my brother is smarter than anybody else, doesn't have to work and has money, and gets what he wants. Needless to say, my brother is not allowed to come back to our house, but that 2 weeks was enough to make an impact that can't seem to be undone.
I started writing a lot more, and then remembered the haters on here and deleted what I had written, figuring no reason to give them more details to pick apart. Anyway, thank you Gail for sharing some of your details. I have perfect friends who all have perfect kids and so it was nice for a moment to hear your story and that everything turned out okay. Since being released from jail, he actually is showing lots of restraint. He came home and apologized. He knows he is being watched and could go right back to jail fairly easily. I'm not fooled that there has been any real change, which is why we know we need to begin the eviction process when possible. He was an AP student. If he were living at home peaceably, finishing his education, eviction would not be in our thinking. However, we have a daughter younger than him to think about and 3 grandchildren, and they are watching to see what happens.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Quote:
Quoting
TiredInGeorgia
I started writing a lot more, and then remembered the haters on here and deleted what I had written, figuring no reason to give them more details to pick apart.
You seem to be under the mistaken impression that this is a support forum- it's not. There was absolutely no need for you to reveal this much about your family history. That info, you should reserve for your THERAPIST and if you think that comment makes me a hater, then I'd pick the best therapist money can buy.
Good night.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
I apologize. I responded to your message and a message quoted below from jk together in my one message and didn't realize it. He said character is learned and that my son's lack of character does reflect my parenting. He must live in a glass house.
Also, I don't need to calm down. I began that message with LOL deliberately. Just because I choose my words carefully and make a valid point emphatically does not mean I am not calm. I am actually enjoying making a response to some of you on here. In real life when people are judgement, focused on the wrong thing, or just plain unkind, I don't usually get to say or do anything, and so it has been nice to respond to the critics. I never would have thought I would find myself doing that, much less enjoying it, but I am.
Message by jk (senior member): "character is a learned quality so to this:
My 17yo having so little respect, is a character flaw in him and choice he makes, not a reflection of my parenting.
in fact it does reflect on your parenting."
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Quote:
Quoting
TiredInGeorgia
I apologize. I responded to your message and a message quoted below from jk together in my one message and didn't realize it. He said character is learned and that my son's lack of character does reflect my parenting. He must live in a glass house.
Also, I don't need to calm down. I began that message with LOL deliberately. Just because I choose my words carefully and make a valid point emphatically does not mean I am not calm. I am actually enjoying making a response to some of you on here. In real life when people are judgement, focused on the wrong thing, or just plain unkind, I don't usually get to say or do anything, and so it has been nice to respond to the critics. I never would have thought I would find myself doing that, much less enjoying it, but I am.
Message by jk (senior member): "character is a learned quality so to this:
My 17yo having so little respect, is a character flaw in him and choice he makes, not a reflection of my parenting.
in fact it does reflect on your parenting."
I really do wish you all the best- I have adult sons and I know it's hard. We tend to think our kids as part of us, and not individual persons with their own free will and so when they do poorly we beat ourselves up. I too apologize for any misunderstanding (and for being a bit of a jerk) and I wish you all the best of luck with the situation.
Re: Eviction of Adult Child in Georgia
Geek,
Thank you for your time. I feel okay about my posts, but thank you for taking time to give your opinion.
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This was very nice of you to say. Thank you. You are right. This is not a support forum. Everything happens for a reason and it's not my job to understand it all, just to have the best possible response that allows me to have a clear conscience at the end of the day.