How to Evict an Adult Child in Georgia

Thank you very much. I will review this information. I appreciate your time and response.

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To the haters:
Again, you have made many false assumptions. This child has had psychiatric care for years, has been on and off probation for years, and helping him has confounded these medical and legal professionals in the same way he has us, his parents. I sincerely hope you or someone you love never has to experience what our family has. But if you ever do invest years of your life committed to loving and parenting a child who is troubled, I hope you'll remember your remarks to me and feel some shame, though I have no reason to believe you will.

Gail/Mr. Knowitall,
Thank you both very much for your efforts to respond to my legal questions in a kind, professional way. I appreciate the guidance and will review you information/links.

You said he was "likely" bi-polar, now you say he's been in psych care for "years." Surely he has a diagnosis? Either he's mentally ill or not.

Good luck with your efforts.

LOL...now I'm to answer to all the psychiatric professionals who want to pick apart my personal details. That is right. He is "likely" bipolar. He has oppositional defiant disorder. Most good psychiatrists/psychologists are hesitant to "label" any person under the age of 18 with a diagnosis like bipolar. Being married to retired military, I would have to agree and appreciate that approach. Labeling/diagnosing someone who does not have a fully developed frontal lobe is not something to be taken lightly. The effects that a diagnosis might have on that person's future can be far reaching.

People, stop trying to pick apart every little word I have said and find fault. It's so petty and unnecessary and you shouldn't waste your time that way.

If I had it to do over again, I would not have posted to this forum. It is not what I thought it was going to be. I certainly would not have mentioned any personal details about my situation. In the professional setting that I thought I was posting, those details would not have been the focus of discussion. I had hoped the clearly stated legal questions would capture the interest of people with knowledge and experience who wished to be helpful.

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Really? So... My son has been raised in a home with both his mother and father who are college-educated, hard-working people who have reputations of being upstanding citizens who have never been in legal trouble and who have respectful relationships with our parents, mother-in-law in fact living with us currently and I am her primary caregiver. He was never sent off to daycare. My husband is retired from the US Army and achieved that status by knowing now to obey authority as well as been an authority. I have run my own business, successfully for 20 years and have all the character qualities that requires. All 6 of our children were raised in church, older 5 going to a church-affiliating private school on our dime for much of their schooling and then being enrolled and part of a military school/community, actively involved in sports, world traveled, loved and cared for consistently, always. Oh...and let me edit this post to add, parents who do not smoke and have never done drugs. My husband won't even drink a glass of wine with dinner.

...and according to you, my son choosing to be a mean-spirited, lazy idiot is because of our parenting? ...is a reflection of us? Sorry whoever your are, but that's just plain stupid and you know it.

As a parent of two sons (who, thank goodness, are now in their 30's), I gotta say that many 17 year olds are simply pain in the butts. One of mine certainly was. He is gay and "came out" around that age and for the next three years, life was one heck of a merry-go-round of "entitlements" from him. Someone told me he'd calm down by the time he was 30. I told them I'd be long dead by then.

At one point I kicked him out of my house two days before Christmas and he was unaware that legally I could not do this without formally evicting him. I did use the services of law enforcement as he had threatened me and they wanted me to press charges against him for making "terroristic threats" against me but I could not do that and he didn't realize he had the legal right to return to my house if he wished. Which is why I suggested the restraining order during your sons upcoming court hearing.

Kicking him out was one of the hardest things I had to do and the second hardest thing was not letting him back in. I hope you and your husband have the strength NOT to let him back in again until he has proven himself worthy of rejoining your family.

If there's a bright spot to all of this, my son finally got his head out of his rear end, went back to school, graduated from our local medical school and is now head of a medical records department in a large medical facility in Houston, making more than twice what I make as a registered dietitian. So, perhaps there is hope for your son sometime down the road as long as he doesn't use any supposed psychiatric diagnoses as a crutch for simply bad behavior and entitlement demands common amongst the young.

Gail

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Quoting TiredInGeorgia

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LOL...now I'm to answer to all the psychiatric professionals who want to pick apart my personal details. That is right. He is "likely" bipolar. He has oppositional defiant disorder. Most good psychiatrists/psychologists are hesitant to "label" any person under the age of 18 with a diagnosis like bipolar. Being married to retired military, I would have to agree and appreciate that approach. Labeling/diagnosing someone who does not have a fully developed frontal lobe is not something to be taken lightly. The effects that a diagnosis might have on that person's future can be far reaching.

People, stop trying to pick apart every little word I have said and find fault. It's so petty and unnecessary and you shouldn't waste your time that way.

If I had it to do over again, I would not have posted to this forum. It is not what I thought it was going to be. I certainly would not have mentioned any personal details about my situation. In the professional setting that I thought I was posting, those details would not have been the focus of discussion. I had hoped the clearly stated legal questions would capture the interest of people with knowledge and experience who wished to be helpful.

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Really? So... My son has been raised in a home with both his mother and father who are college-educated, hard-working people who have reputations of being upstanding citizens who have never been in legal trouble and who have respectful relationships with our parents, mother-in-law in fact living with us currently and I am her primary caregiver. He was never sent off to daycare. My husband is retired from the US Army and achieved that status by knowing now to obey authority as well as been an authority. I have run my own business, successfully for 20 years and have all the character qualities that requires. All 6 of our children were raised in church, older 5 going to a church-affiliating private school on our dime for much of their schooling and then being enrolled and part of a military school/community, actively involved in sports, world traveled, loved and cared for consistently, always. Oh...and let me edit this post to add, parents who do not smoke and have never done drugs. My husband won't even drink a glass of wine with dinner.

...and according to you, my son choosing to be a mean-spirited, lazy idiot is because of our parenting? ...is a reflection of us? Sorry whoever your are, but that's just plain stupid and you know it.

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You are now putting words in my mouth (assuming this is directed at me). You need to just take a walk and cool off. You came here and revealed certain facts in your initial post that would cause the average person to do a double-take. Now you want to lash out at anyone who even so much as raises an eyebrow? I'm sorry, but that's life.

Nobody here is perfect. Many people here have raised kids and made mistakes while doing so. There are reasons why I asked about the diagnosis- there may have been avenues you could pursue if he was under the care of a doc but instead you lashed out in defensiveness.

Have a nice life.

Wow...Thank you for sharing the bad and the good! It is inspiring to hear about someone reaching a turning point and actually making a new life. You must feel so much relief and happiness for him.

We saw the biggest negative change in my son after my biological brother visited for about 2 weeks not quite 2 years ago. He is literally a genius. I have lost count of the degrees he has, from NC State and Duke University. Had an appointment to Annapolis. I won't even keep on with his accolades because they make little difference with how he lives. He is bipolar. He lives in a basement, alone, drinks nonstop, smokes nonstop, lives on inheritance and military disability that he lied and manipulated to get, and is one of the sickest people I know. He stayed up around the clock and did all of that while he was visiting, and after about a week, I realized my son had been staying up with him. I am certain that was very education for my son in the most negative way. My husband finally had to tell my brother it was time for him to leave. After that, we noticed many undesirable things being said and done by my son. You would think if your kids have been raised a certain way and then they are exposed to something that is the polar opposite they would be shocked and lean toward what they know. Not our son. He seemed fascinated by the manipulative power of my brother's genius. He saw the endless supply of money, inherited which will eventually run out at the rate my brother is going through it, and he thinks my brother is living the life. My son has never seen my brother in his own environment. He's never gone around town with him, like I have, and seen how people look at and treat him like the town idiot. My son just sees that my brother is smarter than anybody else, doesn't have to work and has money, and gets what he wants. Needless to say, my brother is not allowed to come back to our house, but that 2 weeks was enough to make an impact that can't seem to be undone.

I started writing a lot more, and then remembered the haters on here and deleted what I had written, figuring no reason to give them more details to pick apart. Anyway, thank you Gail for sharing some of your details. I have perfect friends who all have perfect kids and so it was nice for a moment to hear your story and that everything turned out okay. Since being released from jail, he actually is showing lots of restraint. He came home and apologized. He knows he is being watched and could go right back to jail fairly easily. I'm not fooled that there has been any real change, which is why we know we need to begin the eviction process when possible. He was an AP student. If he were living at home peaceably, finishing his education, eviction would not be in our thinking. However, we have a daughter younger than him to think about and 3 grandchildren, and they are watching to see what happens.

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Quoting TiredInGeorgia

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I started writing a lot more, and then remembered the haters on here and deleted what I had written, figuring no reason to give them more details to pick apart.

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You seem to be under the mistaken impression that this is a support forum- it's not. There was absolutely no need for you to reveal this much about your family history. That info, you should reserve for your THERAPIST and if you think that comment makes me a hater, then I'd pick the best therapist money can buy.

Good night.

I apologize. I responded to your message and a message quoted below from jk together in my one message and didn't realize it. He said character is learned and that my son's lack of character does reflect my parenting. He must live in a glass house.

Also, I don't need to calm down. I began that message with LOL deliberately. Just because I choose my words carefully and make a valid point emphatically does not mean I am not calm. I am actually enjoying making a response to some of you on here. In real life when people are judgement, focused on the wrong thing, or just plain unkind, I don't usually get to say or do anything, and so it has been nice to respond to the critics. I never would have thought I would find myself doing that, much less enjoying it, but I am.

Message by jk (senior member): "character is a learned quality so to this:

My 17yo having so little respect, is a character flaw in him and choice he makes, not a reflection of my parenting.
in fact it does reflect on your parenting."

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Quoting TiredInGeorgia

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I apologize. I responded to your message and a message quoted below from jk together in my one message and didn't realize it. He said character is learned and that my son's lack of character does reflect my parenting. He must live in a glass house.

Also, I don't need to calm down. I began that message with LOL deliberately. Just because I choose my words carefully and make a valid point emphatically does not mean I am not calm. I am actually enjoying making a response to some of you on here. In real life when people are judgement, focused on the wrong thing, or just plain unkind, I don't usually get to say or do anything, and so it has been nice to respond to the critics. I never would have thought I would find myself doing that, much less enjoying it, but I am.

Message by jk (senior member): "character is a learned quality so to this:

My 17yo having so little respect, is a character flaw in him and choice he makes, not a reflection of my parenting.
in fact it does reflect on your parenting."

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I really do wish you all the best- I have adult sons and I know it's hard. We tend to think our kids as part of us, and not individual persons with their own free will and so when they do poorly we beat ourselves up. I too apologize for any misunderstanding (and for being a bit of a jerk) and I wish you all the best of luck with the situation.

Geek,

Thank you for your time. I feel okay about my posts, but thank you for taking time to give your opinion.

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This was very nice of you to say. Thank you. You are right. This is not a support forum. Everything happens for a reason and it's not my job to understand it all, just to have the best possible response that allows me to have a clear conscience at the end of the day.