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Regaining Primary Custody from Sons Father, He Has Temporary Custody

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  • 03-23-2015, 03:19 PM
    Heidig3
    Regaining Primary Custody from Sons Father, He Has Temporary Custody
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Massachusetts

    My sons father and I are both recovering drug addicts. I had my son August 18, 2014, we both had 8 months clean. We lived with my son at my parents house together until he was 4 months old. Both my sons father and I relapsed after 11 months clean, when he was laid off from work and we broke up, he filed for emergency temporary custody. The judge ordered hair follicle tests, he somehow passed and I failed. The judge left the "visitations" up to my ex which ended up being me getting supervised visits every other weekend and every wednesday. This was extremely difficult for me, we ended up getting back together and I lived with my son, his father and grandmother from January 22nd to March 18th 2015. We ended up deciding that it was better for me to move back with my parents and were trying to come up with a custody agreement that makes sense. Three weeks ago, I found out that my ex was stealing my prescription anxiety medication and using it to get high. I'm afraid to bring it to the attention of the courts because I fear for my son being taken away if the person who has temporary custody of him is found to be using drugs. It has been 83 days since my relapse and I've been clean, drug tested weekly, going to counceling, group therapy, and 12 step meetings as well. My ex wants us to have split custody which I have no issues with EXEPT the fact that he will be going back to work anyway now and the baby will end up being left with his mother who doesn't have the energy to keep up with him. I know that I messed up before and it was a stupid mistake that I regret everyday. My idea for custody would be for his father to have him every other weekend when he has his other two daughters, to have him Tuesday afternoons until either Wednesday pm or Thursday am he won't even listen to my ideas, just says that I want the baby to myself, which is not true. I don't know I'm just so stressed out, I miss my baby. I just want to be able to take care of him the way he deserves to be.
  • 03-23-2015, 10:44 PM
    FatherWhoWon
    Re: Regaining Primary Custody from Sons Father, He Has Temporary Custody
    Quote:

    Quoting Heidig3
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Massachusetts

    My sons father and I are both recovering drug addicts. I had my son August 18, 2014, we both had 8 months clean. We lived with my son at my parents house together until he was 4 months old. Both my sons father and I relapsed after 11 months clean, when he was laid off from work and we broke up, he filed for emergency temporary custody. The judge ordered hair follicle tests, he somehow passed and I failed. The judge left the "visitations" up to my ex which ended up being me getting supervised visits every other weekend and every wednesday. This was extremely difficult for me, we ended up getting back together and I lived with my son, his father and grandmother from January 22nd to March 18th 2015. We ended up deciding that it was better for me to move back with my parents and were trying to come up with a custody agreement that makes sense. Three weeks ago, I found out that my ex was stealing my prescription anxiety medication and using it to get high. I'm afraid to bring it to the attention of the courts because I fear for my son being taken away if the person who has temporary custody of him is found to be using drugs. It has been 83 days since my relapse and I've been clean, drug tested weekly, going to counceling, group therapy, and 12 step meetings as well. My ex wants us to have split custody which I have no issues with EXEPT the fact that he will be going back to work anyway now and the baby will end up being left with his mother who doesn't have the energy to keep up with him. I know that I messed up before and it was a stupid mistake that I regret everyday. My idea for custody would be for his father to have him every other weekend when he has his other two daughters, to have him Tuesday afternoons until either Wednesday pm or Thursday am he won't even listen to my ideas, just says that I want the baby to myself, which is not true. I don't know I'm just so stressed out, I miss my baby. I just want to be able to take care of him the way he deserves to be.

    Would you agree to what you want dad to have for yourself? Would you be okay with every other weekend plus a week day? I'm not sure why you think he should be okay with that.

    At this point he seems to have the upper hand. You aren't going to go from supervised visitation order to primary custodian just because you want to. You've only been clean 83 days - a good start, but hardly proof that you're going to stay that way. You almost surely wouldn't get much past supervised visitation with 83 days clean if you took it to the judge.

    Your best bet is probably to work out an agreement with dad, since he seems agreeable to doing so.
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