Changing the Location of Exchange for Child Visitation

The fact is, you made a baby with this man and are going to be dealing with him for a very long time. He might be the most unreasonable SOB on the planet, but legally he is in the right in this situation.

My suggestion is hire an attorney and return to court to have this issue addressed, as well as other issues pertaining to vacations, notification, make up time if you want to take a vacation that will interfere with his parenting time, etc..

But realize that right now your pending criminal case is going to hurt you with respect to this issue of exchange. You're an adult, and you got involved in a physical altercation (presumably in front of your child?) and that does NOT look good. You can claim the cops weren't being fair all you want, but they were on the scene and made a decision based on what they observed, and apparently the DA believed there was enough evidence to prosecute. You would have been better off by keeping your cool and calling the cops and not putting a hand on anyone else. Hopefully you have a good criminal defense attorney as well.

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Quoting alphalimagolf

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I need to be a better co-parent? I am the one that tries to be reasonable but if it is not the way he wants it he doesn't budge. He doesn't ask about his daughter when she is sick. He doesn't respond to pictures I send him. When I want to take my daughter on vacation he doesn't sign the acknowledgement. When I tell him something I need he waits at least 2 days to even respond. When I ask him to tell me when he is going to be late he laughs in my face. When I tell him anything he laughs in my face. Calls his daughter fat. Doesn't go to doctors appointments. And the list goes on. But I need to be a better coparent and make my daughters life easier? No, sir. You have it wrong. It's never been about me. I am a single mom. It's always been about my daughter and making it easier for her. He does not allow that. It is always what he wants.

I bend anytime it's asked but it's not returned. When I am disrespected I keep my cool and try to be the better person while I am constantly degraded. Once these charges get dismissed next week at trial he will no longer have this advantage. Let's hope he has to testify so he say something different than the transcript from last time to yet again prove he is a liar and fake and only cares about himself.

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I'm not "sir", and I'm not wrong either.

Come back in a day or three and reread your own words on this thread.

With any luck, you'll start to understand what has been said to you, and why.

You're right. I should not have fought back, but I chose to defend myself after being struck. the cops didn't see it that way(probably because they didn't take a statement from me) so I lucked out I guess. I do hope that I have a good criminal attorney he is being paid a really good amount. The DA is always after money. They offered probation but we declined and chose going to trial and they were shocked. We stand by innocence and if shoveling out 8 grand more is going to help prove that it's what we will do. I Also already have a family lawyer but we are just in beginning stages. Tryin to get the case moved to the county we live in because it will have to be after 6 months anyway but of course he refuses to sign the waiver for that as well. Thanks for the words.

Y'know, I want to make another suggestion if this continues.

There is, in my opinion, no good reason for your ex's girlfriend to be even present during pick up/drop off. Bear this in mind for the future, because if things stay contentious you can certainly ask the court to ... let's say "clarify" the order.

Stick with it. I know you're feeling the world has done you wrong, but these are the little things you have to bring yourself to take lightly. If you think they're baiting you? Don't give them that sort of power over you - specially Dad's latest. Shrug it off, smile politely and move on.

Trust me. It works.

That's a great idea and certainly justifiable. It's been a floating option of mine to suggest not having her there. With that being said, I think having the pick up at the residence is even more of an option. Because honestly there wouldn't have been an altercation if she were not there. Also, if it happens to not go my way and he doesn't end up picking her up at the residence, how would you word it in the modification so that if we move again and have to change the exchange location we don't have to go to court for another modification. I literally am running dry on money because of all this. I can no longer afford it.

Question: was a restraining order issued? That would solve her presence at pickups.

No. They did not file one. It was like the whole thing was a set up. Them getting to take my baby away from me was enough for them. I obviously can't file a restraining order against someone I am accused of assaulting so I will have to see what I can do after I am cleared.

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Quoting alphalimagolf

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No. They did not file one. It was like the whole thing was a set up. Them getting to take my baby away from me was enough for them. I obviously can't file a restraining order against someone I am accused of assaulting so I will have to see what I can do after I am cleared.

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Ask your attorneys about it, ok? You might be surprised.

And seriously? It is in YOUR best interest to have the exchange in a public place and bring someone with you. Due to the bad blood it would be a good idea to set it up at the police station. And in the future, no matter WHAT happens, do not engage in any physical altercation. If someone hits you or takes a swing, don't hit back, just call the cops. You may also ask your lawyers about having someone with you take video of each and every exchange. Not in a hostile manner, just recording with the window down and as subtly as possible.

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Quoting EA1070a

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Ask your attorneys about it, ok? You might be surprised.

And seriously? It is in YOUR best interest to have the exchange in a public place and bring someone with you. Due to the bad blood it would be a good idea to set it up at the police station. And in the future, no matter WHAT happens, do not engage in any physical altercation. If someone hits you or takes a swing, don't hit back, just call the cops. You may also ask your lawyers about having someone with you take video of each and every exchange. Not in a hostile manner, just recording with the window down and as subtly as possible.

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I just don't see the benefits of having it in a public place. It's a waste of time and gas. Did you know that the people that were at the gas station(the point of exchange) they all said it was my fault because all they saw was me dominating the fight? There was no benefit to me just him. As usual. I would not mind if he records the whole exchange at the residence every time. I am not going to do anything outlandish. I know that there is know real way of knowing but when your baby is taken away from you for a month you learn really quick.

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Quoting alphalimagolf

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I just don't see the benefits of having it in a public place. It's a waste of time and gas. Did you know that the people that were at the gas station(the point of exchange) they all said it was my fault because all they saw was me dominating the fight?

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Do you have any idea what you've just said here?

"Next time I don't want any witnesses in case I start fighting again".

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There was no benefit to me just him. As usual. I would not mind if he records the whole exchange at the residence every time. I am not going to do anything outlandish.

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I'm sure that's what Dad thought before you got into it at the gas station, too.

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I know that there is know real way of knowing but when your baby is taken away from you for a month you learn really quick.

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You've made it crystal clear that this isn't actually about the child. You're more concerned about what benefits you versus what benefits Dad and that is saddening. I'm not even sure you understand what we're trying to tell you.