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Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child

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  • 02-28-2015, 12:37 AM
    caliodar
    Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    Mother left son with me 5 years ago. Her visitation was sporatic and random. If I guess percentages 95% me 5% her. On paper we had joint legal and physical and its stayed that way. This last summer she convinces my son (13) to move with her and her new boyfriend 25 miles away and she enrolls him in school there. I expected him to be back within a few weeks and tried to stay calm because this has happened once before and she returned him within a couple weeks.

    Since he's been there it would appear she's alienating me he wont talk to me etc. She only makes him available a couple times a month.

    I've filed for a custody order and we went to mediation. Mediator stated judges probably wont remove mid school year and pressured us to agreed a visitation schedule and plan to she her again this summer.

    She's since retained an atty and is putting up a fight.

    I use medical marijuana... How much will that weight into judges decision?
  • 02-28-2015, 01:07 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    I agree with the mediator - it's very, very unlikely that the court will switch custody back to you at this point.

    What's your eventual goal?
  • 02-28-2015, 08:32 AM
    caliodar
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    I agree with the mediator - it's very, very unlikely that the court will switch custody back to you at this point.

    What's your eventual goal?

    We've been living in the same city for 5 years, same school district, same friends etc . He starts high school soon and I want him to have a permanent place. His mother hasn't had a permanent place for the last 5 years.

    Plus she hates me, hasn't paid me a dime in 5 years and is convincing him to hate me too. I just want I guess an order to return to the status quo.
  • 02-28-2015, 08:50 AM
    llworking
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    Quote:

    Quoting caliodar
    View Post
    We've been living in the same city for 5 years, same school district, same friends etc . He starts high school soon and I want him to have a permanent place. His mother hasn't had a permanent place for the last 5 years.

    Plus she hates me, hasn't paid me a dime in 5 years and is convincing him to hate me too. I just want I guess an order to return to the status quo.

    The problem is that now, the status quo is that he lives with mom. Therefore living with you is no longer status quo. That is why its unlikely that he will be returned to your primary custody.
  • 02-28-2015, 09:19 AM
    caliodar
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    How long does it take a establish a status quo? And they'll disregard my 5 years only after a few months?

    Wow that is horrible.
  • 02-28-2015, 09:25 AM
    FatherWhoWon
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    Quote:

    Quoting caliodar
    View Post
    How long does it take a establish a status quo? And they'll disregard my 5 years only after a few months?

    Wow that is horrible.

    The "how long has it been" question is extremely important. Since the beginning of the school year? That's 6 or 7 months. You should have done something before now.

    And I'm confused why you didn't go get him in the first place?
  • 02-28-2015, 10:50 AM
    caliodar
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    If I thought he'd come with me I would've picked him up. But he'll do whatever she wants at this point. He not under any threat of violence.

    Again I didn't think it would last so I waited longer than I should have it looks like. She took him in aug I filed in november.

    Thanks this helps.

    - - - Updated - - -

    In addition , she's asking for me to have child every other weekend and is asking for child support.

    Whats the odds I'll get less than 50% if she retains custody?
  • 02-28-2015, 11:39 AM
    FatherWhoWon
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    Quote:

    Quoting caliodar
    View Post
    If I thought he'd come with me I would've picked him up. But he'll do whatever she wants at this point. He not under any threat of violence.

    Again I didn't think it would last so I waited longer than I should have it looks like. She took him in aug I filed in november.

    Thanks this helps.

    - - - Updated - - -

    In addition , she's asking for me to have child every other weekend and is asking for child support.

    Whats the odds I'll get less than 50% if she retains custody?

    What does your current order actually say about how much time each of you are supposed to have? Are you following it?
  • 02-28-2015, 11:43 AM
    caliodar
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    Current order doesn't specify a visitation schedule. Only states joint physical and legal.

    The reality was I had him full time for the last 5 years with sporatic visits and virtually no overnight stays with mother.

    I always encouraged them to see each other and always made him available to her.
  • 02-28-2015, 12:31 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Will I Get My Son Back
    Then Mom is basically going to dictate. She has status quo on her side, and your court order is too vague to argue.

    You can try to obtain a literal 50/50 timeshare, but I wouldn't bet the bank on it.

    You've also got to be realistic - it's not "a few months". It's actually 6 months and yes, the difference can be important. On top of that, your son is 13. While his wishes do not control, if he's dead against living with you the court might just take his opinion into consideration.
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