Will a Child Who Made False Abuse Accusations be Returned Home

We live in Missouri. My 13 year old daughter made false allegations of abuse to her school about us in order to get out of the house because for the past two years she has wanted to move to New York with her aunt and we aren't letting her. Well now that all the evidence and witnesses have been seen and spoken too, the DA informed us that he has no intention of pressing charges and the kids will all be returned to us from foster care soon. My question is this. If my 13 year old says she don't want to come home, will they still make her or will I basically lose my daughter forever? I love her and I want her home so we can get our family back together and get some help.

Minor children do not get to chose custody. Barring some court custody order, you are still the parents and she lives where you say.

Your situation is a common one, unfortunately. Kids think they can manupliate their parents by saying they are abused. Don't allow your daughter to know how upset she had made you by doing this. If you do, she may continue to do it thinking you will be at the end of your rope and let her live with her aunt

CPS can do what they want, and they will especially if they realize they made a mistake. Our 15 year old grandson was trying to manipulate us into doing what he wanted. It backfired, on him and us. They took him 16 months ago without investigating. They have completely alienated him, he hates all family he grew up with, they denied the family counseling that was in THEIR caseplan.
He was at 4 different placements in 4 months, hospitalized 6 times, suffered traumatic stress, finally put in a kinship placement with people he didn't know. CPS refused to cooperate, told the people we couldn't have any contact with family, told his counselor to help him attach to new family.
CPS and his current placement have told him he can choose where he lives. He's allowed to play video games rated 17+, have his girlfriend overnight, get porn on the internet, doesn't do schoolwork, etc. He threatens suicide if he is returned home. CPS has filed to give legal custody to those people. Our son, his father, is in a position to have custody returned to him, but GS refuses to even visit.

CPS will not (can not, they say) make boy go to visits or counseling. So, at the end of 18 months of fighting to get him back, they are putting him with this branch of the family on his mothers side. There was a reason he had little contact with his mothers side, and it's obvious to all, but ignored by CPS.

Oh, edited to add, we have no charges against us. When CPS finally investigated they realized we never abused or neglected him. They still said we had to take parenting classes, psych evals, counseling. We did & paid for all that, cleared to be more than competent to parent this teen, it didn't matter because the boy kept making up stories and said he didn't want to come home. Well, he told CPS he didn't want to come home, he kept telling me he did. He even tried to have me sign him up for things he had to be home to do.

Our boy is still coming up with stories of 'neglect'. He went to the dr with the start of the flu last month. He complained his throat was sore and dry on one side. The doctor said there was some scar tissue from an untreated sore throat in the past, at least that was how the boy retold the story. So he's claiming neglect, and the caseworker acted like she is looking into it.

Even with NO CHARGES, we have lost our grandson.

Chris_H , have you gotten an attorney ? If you haven't you need to.

Didn't get a lawyer right away because we couldn't understand why they even took him. When the intake caseworker finally called us she said she shouldn't have taken him if she knew all we told her. She said she would pass on that information to the next caseworker and we thought our boy would be home in a week. None of the hearings were heard in the legally required time period. We have had a lawyer since Dec 2013. She advised to do everything CPS requested, before they had the caseplan ordered. We thought the caseplan was ridiculous, but did it anyway. CPS lost documentation, then denied it was what they required, then grudgingly accepted it, but each time meant more delays. They refused to answer phone calls. Then claimed the phone calls we did get qualified as the monthly meeting we found out we were supposed to have. They refused to set up counseling after cancelling the psychologist I had for GS. I really don't know why the lawyer didn't file to force them to follow their caseplan.

Our lawyer and our sons lawyer both filed to have the GAL removed, judge denied the motion; said he had been on the job long enough to know what he was doing.

All along our lawyer, and a counselor, and a psychologist kept asking us why we wanted this kid back in our house. Do you kick your family to the curb even when they are being a P.I.T.A.? We don't, we believed in hanging in there to get him help, and we were prevented from doing that. The only thing we've managed is to force them to get him to a doctor and a psychiatrist. We did manage to get the current psychiatrist to finally start getting him off an anti-psychotic after I asked the lawyer to file a paper with the doctor & the court saying we, his legal guardians, were never consulted and would never have given permission for him to be on that drug. I guess the threat of liability for injury scared the psychiatrist.

At this point, we think we are done. CPS can give legal custody to that family and our son can file for visitation starting with reunification counseling. That's our best shot of getting him out of where he is. They don't give a crap about his future. That branch of his family goes from minimum wage job to minimum wage job; boy/girfriend to the next, etc. At least his mom knows he was better off with us, and that's her own aunt! But they trash her to our GS's face as a 'bar whore', etc. His mother is not stable enough to take him, but I know she wouldn't knowingly let him sleep with his girlfriend, or watch porn.

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CrazyWhovian, if CPS keeps your daughter in foster care, it will be very doubtful they will send her out of state. Did CPS take all your children based on this child's claims? Are they all in the same foster placement? How often are your visits? Does she have a GAL or a CASA?

Chris_H, often attorneys for the families are more on the side of the state that the ones they represent. If the child started causing problems for the state like running away not telling anyone where they are at, etc, chances are you would get the child abck quickly. Look up the laws in your state covering child protection. Also look up federal law PL 96-272. If the attorney you have isn't doing their job, fire him and hire another one. If you paid for the counseling, get copies of those records. The attorney and others may be telling you one thing and doing another.

I hate to hog CrazyWhovian's post, hopefully my experience will help her.

We hired our attorney because she hates CPS. She is a well respected lawyer in an adjoining county, in our county CPS has a reputation for doing what they want. We feel it's too late to do anything other than sign off our legal custody and back our son on getting custody through the family court without CPS involved. At least if he fights to get visitation and eventually custody, he'll be in that adjoining county because that is where GS now lives. We're hoping if our son files for visitation once CPS is out of the way, that the courts will grant and enforce it.

The child was in a group home for 2 months before being sent to this placement. He was informed that if he wasn't stable there, they would put him in a group home/orphanage until he is 18. CPS selected his current counselor, and she works in the same group that runs the orphange, so does the psychiatrist. CPS refused to select dr's and counselors on my insurance, and used the medicaid dr's that are in the same group as the orphanage.

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Oh, our GS is much like CrazyWhovians child. He is oppositional and has been mad because we held him accountable for lying to us, for getting his work done, etc. We rewarded him with a lot of opportunity, too. But when they want what they want, and get rewarded by not having to answer to anyone, it makes it hard to get them turned around. Our GS refuses to come home because we will not cave to his demands. He claims to be happy there, even though he is hostile and angry. I'm sure he feels caught in a trap, but he set it himself.

With the way CPS can drag their feet, you need to be prepared for the child to turn 18 without custody changing. The fact that your son didn't have custody and you did makes it a case that can easily be drawn out, if that is wants CPS wants. The states receive money for those in foster care and those that care or them receive some of this money. So the state has no reason to return custody. Also since the child has accomplished a lot of what he set out to do, CPS may feel that it will be easier on them to just keep the child than to continue to have to come out on allegations. By the way, I'm not sure who told you about what the child is doing while living away from you. But, you can't believe all that you hear.

Oh, I know to be careful of what I hear.
But when I read the psychiatrist notes about GS asking foster mommy if girlfriend could stay overnight and her answer was 'his grades weren't good enough at the time', I was concerned. When I read girlfriends FB post about a 'real man' staying up all night with her to talk her out of suicide, I was concerned. When I found out the families went camping together, I was concerned.
When GS got placed there, they gave him all his electronic devices back, despite my warning to the contrary. He created a new FB and friended me. Then he friended a lot of 'girls' from Puerto Rico, and southern California, and Taiwan. I notified his fosters, they blocked me. I had to escalate my complaints before they removed those 'friends'. Then he used an email he had given me access to, and created a Twitter account and followed porn. Fosters denied it. Then he created another Twitter account and followed porn, fosters denied it. I could see what he did because I had access to both email accounts. Then he signed up for an 'adult dating' site, and a few others that were porn, fosters denied it.
I do have access to his grades & attendance, and this caseworker said I had a right to talk to his teachers & principal. That's how I found out about school issues and run-ins with authority & school suspension.
I do know he joined a 4H gun club, he and the fosters said so. If he was healthy, I wouldn't be opposed to that training, but he is not healthy. He is isolated, angry, hostile to authority and kids at school. He should not be around guns.
I know about the shouting matches between him and the fosters from the psych notes.
I know the fosters badmouth his mother, his father, and us; they post it on FB and admit showing it to GS.
And some of the stuff he is doing I know because I know the boy. When the fosters get all hissy about 'what I know is going on there' I figure I pegged it and they think GS is telling me. Maybe he has tried to reach out by setting up Skype, among other things, but maybe he just didn't think that I'd still be checking his email account. Or, I wouldn't put it past him to set up the porn accounts and try to accuse me.

CPS wants to sign over legal custody to the kinship fosters in April, I guess to get him out of their custody and legal liability. Caseworker admits they don't know what to do with him, admits he isn't getting care up to the standard we had in our home. But GS is calling the shots and is willing to cut off his nose to spite his face. I almost fear that literally as he has self-injured and tried to blame me. He will be 16 in July, it will be interesting to see if the fosters allow him to get a license. He will blow if not allowed.

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Anyway, I'm not the only one battling CPS over taking a teen and not getting the care the teen was getting at home. I'm not the only one being blamed for the teens mental issues, even though he was getting help from professionals. Perhaps you've heard of some of the medical 'kidnappings' recently? Ours was the opposite, his first hospitalization was in our care and the hospital released him to our care with no problem. The caseworker swooped in the next day, complained she couldn't get the hospital record and took him based on the premise he was in imminent danger! Really? Do you think the hospital would release a teen to their home if they were in imminent danger? But, as I said, we're not the only ones with this problem.

Many attorneys have political aspirations and they do what will advance that. Unfortunately, attorneys aren't always on the side of the clients when the state is on the other side. I'm curious, is this attorney one that you are paying or is it through legal aid ?

We're paying for the lawyer. We paid for the psych evals out of pocket because my insurance wouldn't pay unless we had a diagnosable illness. We paid for the parenting class and several computer/workbook based programs. My insurance did cover the individual and family counseling because we'd already met the deductible. Somehow CPS 'providing services' cost us a lot and provided little in the way of actual services for the one who needed the mental health care most!

If you had not had a way to pay for the services, the state would have sent you to someone they contracted with. I'm kinda surprised that the state isn't making you pay for the mental health and physical care that he is receiving. They could also be making you pay a certain amount to the state. Do you know if they have applied for SSI for him ?

They enrolled him in Medicaid as soon as they took him. They told me to keep my insurance on him. I have great insurance that pays for more than what Medicaid approves, he could see a psychologist, blood tests more often(due to drugs he's on), etc. I told them we meet our deductible early in the year but I have money in an HSA to pay that. I told them to keep taking him to the dentist & eye doctor he has always seen, that I don't have that insurance but I'd pay for it. They cancelled the dental appointment and took him to a Medicaid dr, at least that's what I was told, there are no records of him going to the dentist. Same with the eye doctor, he showed up with new glasses at the group home, 6 months after an eye appointment he had in our care. But there is no record of the doctor.
In Dec 2013, 2 months after they took him, they suddenly stopped billing my insurance for the hospital care and runs to the clinic, and the counselor I was told he saw there. I've never received documents from that counselor. I've got a name on a family dr he saw, but records are missing.
In Apr 2014, at the current placement, he was sent to the emergency room for a claim of an overdose. Caseworker #4 was on the job, and my insurance got billed. I had my attorney contact the A.P.(assistant Prosecutor) and ask for a ruling that I should maintain health coverage on him. I wanted to be sure they remembered I had coverage on him and bill my ins all the time. I got the ruling, I gave that to my provider, I got confirmation my insurance is primary, and they've never billed my insurance since. Medicines would be covered, tests, etc. The only thing, my insurance probably would have questioned this kid being placed on and kept on some of the meds. The Medicaid dr's don't, they just write more scripts. From Jan (or Feb, records incomplete) until July 2014 he never saw any doctor outside the hospital. They just kept calling in to get his scripts refilled. Antidepressants that INCREASE suicidality in teens, a heavy duty antipsychotic that was being used off label, something to make him sleep, and 2 or 3 acne medications; and they neglected to have him seen by a doctor!

We chose where we went for our psych evals. I called a number on their list before finding one that doesn't like CPS. Our son went to one of the Medicaid drs when they finally added him to the case plan. That dr said he was mildly depressed, well duh! He wasn't allowed to see his son, the kinship placement has done everything they could to stop him. CPS has used the dx of 'mildly depressed' against him, but Medicaid would not have paid the bill without a dx! It's rigged to be against a person wanting to get their kid but without the means to pay for all the hoops CPS puts in front of them.

When they sent him to the group home he went straight from a hospital stay for a suicide threat. That was Dec 2013. A psychiatrist had recommended he go to a treatment center for more intense individual, group, & family counseling. I contacted a nationally known hospital, local to us, and confirmed he met the criteria for an emergency admittance into the adolescent mental health center. My insurance would pay for it, too. CPS refused, said they had to send him to the 'least restrictive environment'. So, we got a 15 minute phone call a week and he got 1 hour/week of individual counseling and went to a public school(his 4th new school in the 1st semester of high school!) The hospital would have had daily counseling, ind, group, and family, as well as a tutor. They would have used the school materials from the original school so he could integrate back into the school when he came home. After a couple weeks at that home, over Christmas & New Years, we finally got to see him for a 2 hour visit weekly. It was 75 miles from home, my husband doesn't travel well, so our son, GS's father, was allowed to go with me.

I suspect the only thing our lawyer has done for us is to keep the A.P. from filing to get child support from us. But their actions indicate that 2 months after they took him, they decided they were not going to return him. Oh, it took them 5 months to get HIM a psych eval. We weren't allowed to talk to that dr, either. He was in the current placement for 2 weeks and kinship/foster mommy who never knew him got to talk to the doctor!

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Sorry for so long. This situation gets me fired up. Read it or not.

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Quoting Chris_H

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Didn't get a lawyer right away because we couldn't understand why they even took him. When the intake caseworker finally called us she said she shouldn't have taken him if she knew all we told her. She said she would pass on that information to the next caseworker and we thought our boy would be home in a week. None of the hearings were heard in the legally required time period. We have had a lawyer since Dec 2013. She advised to do everything CPS requested, before they had the caseplan ordered. We thought the caseplan was ridiculous, but did it anyway. CPS lost documentation, then denied it was what they required, then grudgingly accepted it, but each time meant more delays. They refused to answer phone calls. Then claimed the phone calls we did get qualified as the monthly meeting we found out we were supposed to have. They refused to set up counseling after cancelling the psychologist I had for GS. I really don't know why the lawyer didn't file to force them to follow their caseplan.

Our lawyer and our sons lawyer both filed to have the GAL removed, judge denied the motion; said he had been on the job long enough to know what he was doing.

All along our lawyer, and a counselor, and a psychologist kept asking us why we wanted this kid back in our house. Do you kick your family to the curb even when they are being a P.I.T.A.? We don't, we believed in hanging in there to get him help, and we were prevented from doing that. The only thing we've managed is to force them to get him to a doctor and a psychiatrist. We did manage to get the current psychiatrist to finally start getting him off an anti-psychotic after I asked the lawyer to file a paper with the doctor & the court saying we, his legal guardians, were never consulted and would never have given permission for him to be on that drug. I guess the threat of liability for injury scared the psychiatrist.

At this point, we think we are done. CPS can give legal custody to that family and our son can file for visitation starting with reunification counseling. That's our best shot of getting him out of where he is. They don't give a crap about his future. That branch of his family goes from minimum wage job to minimum wage job; boy/girfriend to the next, etc. At least his mom knows he was better off with us, and that's her own aunt! But they trash her to our GS's face as a 'bar whore', etc. His mother is not stable enough to take him, but I know she wouldn't knowingly let him sleep with his girlfriend, or watch porn.

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CrazyWhovian, if CPS keeps your daughter in foster care, it will be very doubtful they will send her out of state. Did CPS take all your children based on this child's claims? Are they all in the same foster placement? How often are your visits? Does she have a GAL or a CASA?

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Yes they took of our kids. My oldest is my son at age 15. He was separated from his sisters that very night because he dared to try to console them and defend them. When they were being taken away the CPS tried telling my girls ( ages 13, 12, 11 & 6 ) they were going on a camping trip. My son refused to let them be lied to and told the CPS lady to kiss his ass when she demanded he stop talking to his sisters. He was sent away from them that night. I know this because he snuck his cell phone and has been in contact with me. I know the girls are together and they all have a GAL ( I assume that is the guardian ad lidem and that I probably spelled it wrong ) The problem is, the only person she speaks to is my oldest daughter, the 13 year old who made the accusations. I know this because my son says he never spoke to her and we got a message via a classmate of my 11 year old who says she and her sisters were never spoken too, just the 13 year old. There are a few things you said in a post above that are exactly like we have going on here. Like we are being forced to get psych evals, get marriage counseling, take parent classes and stuff but also you mentioned that your grandson tells the CPS he don't want to go home but tells you different. My daughter tells CPS ( It's actually DFS here but I call them CPS to avoid confusion ) she don't want to go home but several of her friends have told us that in school she cries and says she wants to go home. Why would she tell them she wants to go home but tell CPS different?

"Why would she tell them she wants to go home but tell CPS different? "

Our grandson did that. The best reason I could come up with is this is what manipulative kids do. They want control and they want sympathy. They will tell a story that fits their purpose and audience. Once our grandson told a lie, he would never recant.
Much of what CPS did to our GS was designed to 'break him', that won't work with a manipulative, oppositional teen. CPS lied to our grandson, too.

I read a new term that seems to describe our GS, he's a "collector of injustices".

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When were the children taken? Do you have a lawyer?