Will a Child Who Made False Abuse Accusations be Returned Home

We live in Missouri. My 13 year old daughter made false allegations of abuse to her school about us in order to get out of the house because for the past two years she has wanted to move to New York with her aunt and we aren't letting her. Well now that all the evidence and witnesses have been seen and spoken too, the DA informed us that he has no intention of pressing charges and the kids will all be returned to us from foster care soon. My question is this. If my 13 year old says she don't want to come home, will they still make her or will I basically lose my daughter forever? I love her and I want her home so we can get our family back together and get some help.

Minor children do not get to chose custody. Barring some court custody order, you are still the parents and she lives where you say.

Your situation is a common one, unfortunately. Kids think they can manupliate their parents by saying they are abused. Don't allow your daughter to know how upset she had made you by doing this. If you do, she may continue to do it thinking you will be at the end of your rope and let her live with her aunt

CPS can do what they want, and they will especially if they realize they made a mistake. Our 15 year old grandson was trying to manipulate us into doing what he wanted. It backfired, on him and us. They took him 16 months ago without investigating. They have completely alienated him, he hates all family he grew up with, they denied the family counseling that was in THEIR caseplan.
He was at 4 different placements in 4 months, hospitalized 6 times, suffered traumatic stress, finally put in a kinship placement with people he didn't know. CPS refused to cooperate, told the people we couldn't have any contact with family, told his counselor to help him attach to new family.
CPS and his current placement have told him he can choose where he lives. He's allowed to play video games rated 17+, have his girlfriend overnight, get porn on the internet, doesn't do schoolwork, etc. He threatens suicide if he is returned home. CPS has filed to give legal custody to those people. Our son, his father, is in a position to have custody returned to him, but GS refuses to even visit.

CPS will not (can not, they say) make boy go to visits or counseling. So, at the end of 18 months of fighting to get him back, they are putting him with this branch of the family on his mothers side. There was a reason he had little contact with his mothers side, and it's obvious to all, but ignored by CPS.

Oh, edited to add, we have no charges against us. When CPS finally investigated they realized we never abused or neglected him. They still said we had to take parenting classes, psych evals, counseling. We did & paid for all that, cleared to be more than competent to parent this teen, it didn't matter because the boy kept making up stories and said he didn't want to come home. Well, he told CPS he didn't want to come home, he kept telling me he did. He even tried to have me sign him up for things he had to be home to do.

Our boy is still coming up with stories of 'neglect'. He went to the dr with the start of the flu last month. He complained his throat was sore and dry on one side. The doctor said there was some scar tissue from an untreated sore throat in the past, at least that was how the boy retold the story. So he's claiming neglect, and the caseworker acted like she is looking into it.

Even with NO CHARGES, we have lost our grandson.

Chris_H , have you gotten an attorney ? If you haven't you need to.

Didn't get a lawyer right away because we couldn't understand why they even took him. When the intake caseworker finally called us she said she shouldn't have taken him if she knew all we told her. She said she would pass on that information to the next caseworker and we thought our boy would be home in a week. None of the hearings were heard in the legally required time period. We have had a lawyer since Dec 2013. She advised to do everything CPS requested, before they had the caseplan ordered. We thought the caseplan was ridiculous, but did it anyway. CPS lost documentation, then denied it was what they required, then grudgingly accepted it, but each time meant more delays. They refused to answer phone calls. Then claimed the phone calls we did get qualified as the monthly meeting we found out we were supposed to have. They refused to set up counseling after cancelling the psychologist I had for GS. I really don't know why the lawyer didn't file to force them to follow their caseplan.

Our lawyer and our sons lawyer both filed to have the GAL removed, judge denied the motion; said he had been on the job long enough to know what he was doing.

All along our lawyer, and a counselor, and a psychologist kept asking us why we wanted this kid back in our house. Do you kick your family to the curb even when they are being a P.I.T.A.? We don't, we believed in hanging in there to get him help, and we were prevented from doing that. The only thing we've managed is to force them to get him to a doctor and a psychiatrist. We did manage to get the current psychiatrist to finally start getting him off an anti-psychotic after I asked the lawyer to file a paper with the doctor & the court saying we, his legal guardians, were never consulted and would never have given permission for him to be on that drug. I guess the threat of liability for injury scared the psychiatrist.

At this point, we think we are done. CPS can give legal custody to that family and our son can file for visitation starting with reunification counseling. That's our best shot of getting him out of where he is. They don't give a crap about his future. That branch of his family goes from minimum wage job to minimum wage job; boy/girfriend to the next, etc. At least his mom knows he was better off with us, and that's her own aunt! But they trash her to our GS's face as a 'bar whore', etc. His mother is not stable enough to take him, but I know she wouldn't knowingly let him sleep with his girlfriend, or watch porn.

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CrazyWhovian, if CPS keeps your daughter in foster care, it will be very doubtful they will send her out of state. Did CPS take all your children based on this child's claims? Are they all in the same foster placement? How often are your visits? Does she have a GAL or a CASA?

Chris_H, often attorneys for the families are more on the side of the state that the ones they represent. If the child started causing problems for the state like running away not telling anyone where they are at, etc, chances are you would get the child abck quickly. Look up the laws in your state covering child protection. Also look up federal law PL 96-272. If the attorney you have isn't doing their job, fire him and hire another one. If you paid for the counseling, get copies of those records. The attorney and others may be telling you one thing and doing another.

I hate to hog CrazyWhovian's post, hopefully my experience will help her.

We hired our attorney because she hates CPS. She is a well respected lawyer in an adjoining county, in our county CPS has a reputation for doing what they want. We feel it's too late to do anything other than sign off our legal custody and back our son on getting custody through the family court without CPS involved. At least if he fights to get visitation and eventually custody, he'll be in that adjoining county because that is where GS now lives. We're hoping if our son files for visitation once CPS is out of the way, that the courts will grant and enforce it.

The child was in a group home for 2 months before being sent to this placement. He was informed that if he wasn't stable there, they would put him in a group home/orphanage until he is 18. CPS selected his current counselor, and she works in the same group that runs the orphange, so does the psychiatrist. CPS refused to select dr's and counselors on my insurance, and used the medicaid dr's that are in the same group as the orphanage.

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Oh, our GS is much like CrazyWhovians child. He is oppositional and has been mad because we held him accountable for lying to us, for getting his work done, etc. We rewarded him with a lot of opportunity, too. But when they want what they want, and get rewarded by not having to answer to anyone, it makes it hard to get them turned around. Our GS refuses to come home because we will not cave to his demands. He claims to be happy there, even though he is hostile and angry. I'm sure he feels caught in a trap, but he set it himself.

With the way CPS can drag their feet, you need to be prepared for the child to turn 18 without custody changing. The fact that your son didn't have custody and you did makes it a case that can easily be drawn out, if that is wants CPS wants. The states receive money for those in foster care and those that care or them receive some of this money. So the state has no reason to return custody. Also since the child has accomplished a lot of what he set out to do, CPS may feel that it will be easier on them to just keep the child than to continue to have to come out on allegations. By the way, I'm not sure who told you about what the child is doing while living away from you. But, you can't believe all that you hear.

Oh, I know to be careful of what I hear.
But when I read the psychiatrist notes about GS asking foster mommy if girlfriend could stay overnight and her answer was 'his grades weren't good enough at the time', I was concerned. When I read girlfriends FB post about a 'real man' staying up all night with her to talk her out of suicide, I was concerned. When I found out the families went camping together, I was concerned.
When GS got placed there, they gave him all his electronic devices back, despite my warning to the contrary. He created a new FB and friended me. Then he friended a lot of 'girls' from Puerto Rico, and southern California, and Taiwan. I notified his fosters, they blocked me. I had to escalate my complaints before they removed those 'friends'. Then he used an email he had given me access to, and created a Twitter account and followed porn. Fosters denied it. Then he created another Twitter account and followed porn, fosters denied it. I could see what he did because I had access to both email accounts. Then he signed up for an 'adult dating' site, and a few others that were porn, fosters denied it.
I do have access to his grades & attendance, and this caseworker said I had a right to talk to his teachers & principal. That's how I found out about school issues and run-ins with authority & school suspension.
I do know he joined a 4H gun club, he and the fosters said so. If he was healthy, I wouldn't be opposed to that training, but he is not healthy. He is isolated, angry, hostile to authority and kids at school. He should not be around guns.
I know about the shouting matches between him and the fosters from the psych notes.
I know the fosters badmouth his mother, his father, and us; they post it on FB and admit showing it to GS.
And some of the stuff he is doing I know because I know the boy. When the fosters get all hissy about 'what I know is going on there' I figure I pegged it and they think GS is telling me. Maybe he has tried to reach out by setting up Skype, among other things, but maybe he just didn't think that I'd still be checking his email account. Or, I wouldn't put it past him to set up the porn accounts and try to accuse me.

CPS wants to sign over legal custody to the kinship fosters in April, I guess to get him out of their custody and legal liability. Caseworker admits they don't know what to do with him, admits he isn't getting care up to the standard we had in our home. But GS is calling the shots and is willing to cut off his nose to spite his face. I almost fear that literally as he has self-injured and tried to blame me. He will be 16 in July, it will be interesting to see if the fosters allow him to get a license. He will blow if not allowed.

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Anyway, I'm not the only one battling CPS over taking a teen and not getting the care the teen was getting at home. I'm not the only one being blamed for the teens mental issues, even though he was getting help from professionals. Perhaps you've heard of some of the medical 'kidnappings' recently? Ours was the opposite, his first hospitalization was in our care and the hospital released him to our care with no problem. The caseworker swooped in the next day, complained she couldn't get the hospital record and took him based on the premise he was in imminent danger! Really? Do you think the hospital would release a teen to their home if they were in imminent danger? But, as I said, we're not the only ones with this problem.