Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
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T53147
First, get a job. Child support and spousal support will not maintain you and your child. You sound really unrealistic and lazy to think that your husband should support two households while you get your act together. Get a job now and save so you have what you will need financially for the divorce and thereafter. Your poor husband is already working 2 jobs. Had you done your share and him have to work only one, your marriage might have has a chance of surviving. In fact, before you separate, have your husband quit his second job and you get one. He deserves a partner in the marriage; you are not.
Once you file for divorce, the court gets to decide. I hope your husband gets a tiger of an attorney since you have publicly admitted that you are considering moving his child abroad.
Dear member, thank you for your respond. Please, as a senior member and a voluteer in offering advice to people who have no clue and need to know where they stand, please try to have a little more patience and understanding. I am sorry if somehow my story made it seem I am lazy and unrealistic, thinking my husband should support me. There are people that go onto this forum and ask for help that could be hurt and offended by such a strongly formulated judgement.
First of all, I am already in the process of job interviews. My husband doesn't understand this, and is urging me to stop, he wants me to be at home at all time. I told him I need some independence. I will talk to him soon, when there is a good moment where he is not stressed nor frustrated.
Secondly, I don't know if I will be able to find a childcare that will financially make sense I our child will have to go 5 days a week, if I work 5 days a week. That is something that will need to be figured out. Either part time or full time, I will get a job, rather sooner than later. I have always worked, since I was 14, all through school and college. Coming here and not working has been a huge transition for me, and I am dying to get started out there again.
Thirdly, I have hot publicly admitted that I am considering moving. I do not want to move. I have built a life here, and, except for the marriage, my life is very happy here. But if things somehow get impossible (my husband has threatened to have me deported and lie to the USCIS that our marriage was a big facade, if I ever do 'something' he doesn't agree with), SOMEHOW, I don't know HOW, then there would be no other choice for me than to go home, would there? I don't want to though, and I will do everything I can to keep my family as 'together' as possible.
Next, my poor husband has a problem indeed. It is a problem with life. Since a young age, he hasn't been able to 'deal' with regular things in life, like school or college. He is a perfectionist and he has a very high stresslevel, for things that wouldn't stress out a 'normal' person. He had to be homeschooled as he couldn't deal with the 'pressure' of handing in papers and passing tests at school, he threw up all the time and fainted and slept, the longest was 6 full days. He has had so many futile treatments he doesn't trust anybody anymore. He neglects it all, and numbs himself. He buries himself in work. How many times I have asked him to stop working, to try to get his credentials to be a highschool teacher (which is what he really wants). I have told him I don't care moving in with his parents (who are more than willing to take us in for a few years, in order for their son to be happy, they are, just like me, at their wits end) to cut down costs in order for him to go back to school. He craves work. When he is not working, he is sleeping. I am up with the little one every morning at 7am, whereas he stays up late playing videogames and sleeps in till noon when he doesn't have work. When he has work, he comes back in the afternoon and takes a nap for hours, leaving me with the little one 7 days a week. He is a gamer and a collecter. He spends his hours at home either absorbed by his phone, reading articles, comparing prices, on e-bay, or videogaming. I have tried to talk with him so many times, but I keep walking into a wall of anger, frustration and hatred. Not against me, against life. Although it is poured out over me.
I don't feel I am a victim, I do not need anybody to feel sorry for me, I don't blame him, I don't think he is guilty. I just didn't know how many issues he had when we started going out, it took a while for it all to come to the surface. I have tried to convince him to go to counceling, and have a professional help us communicate. It all is futile and I am tired. I know I am the only one responsible for my situation, I can't change him, I am just very unhappy with him.
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
Since it is safe to assume he had all those faults prior to your marriage, one can only logically conclude your marriage was to obtain citizenship. The fact is T13547 is very pro immigration and while you disparage them, the advice was sound. You still have not given us the time frame you have been in the US so we can give you more info because you are too busy trying to make us feel sorry for you.
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
Did anyone ask the important question:
How long were you married?
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
Actually the important question is how long she has had the green card. I asked it but OP has not responded. They are related to a point though.
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CourtClerk
Did anyone ask the important question:
How long were you married?
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
I've clearly wandered into the immigration Twilight Zone. So let's get to it.
OP is already a legal resident. Even if there are conditions attached, for the purposes of the I-864 the case has already been adjudicated. There is one notable exception and, well, having a kid sort of puts that one to bed before we even start. Outside of that? Nope.
The length of the marriage and the length of time she's had the green-card are really not important either unless we're looking at the other end of it - she earns 40 SS quarters or naturalizes.
Is anyone thinking that her husband can withdraw sponsorship because she still has conditions attached? :confused: Because he can't. Not unless he proves fraud... and as any self-respecting agent will tell you, having a child with the sponsor is just about the easiest way to prove that there was no fraud present.
I honestly don't get you guys on this one. There is case law piled on more case law, immigration attorney websites warning the sponsor, forum upon forum (at least two attorneys post there) explaining in very simple terms how this works. C'mon, you know how this works! We've all "worked" together for years now - what am I missing?
(I'm not touching the moving away part... 'cuz you WILL yell at me. Trust me)
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Disagreeable
That depends on what stage of the green card process she is in. The divorce indicates at a certain point the marriage became non bonafied for green card purposes..
Knock it off. You know that's complete and utter garbage.
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
We only know she has an 18 month old baby. We do not know if she has transitioned from a temporary green card to a regular green card or really what her current status is other than legally here. I was providing the other info as a response to T53147's comment she should get a job. Why do you want me to be the bad guy for trying to help?
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
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Disagreeable
We only know she has an 18 month old baby. We do not know if she has transitioned from a temporary green card to a regular green card or really what her current status is other than legally here. I was providing the other info as a response to T53147's comment she should get a job. Why do you want me to be the bad guy for trying to help?
You are not trying to help. You are flat out saying that she does not have a bonafied marriage. Which is utter BS because they have a child. Therefore you are hindering the discussion rather than helping.
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
I suspect Disagreeable, like myself, is disturbed by OP's attitude as reflected in her posts. OP has excuses and places blame when she has done nothing but sit home with the baby. She appears to be threatening to take the baby away from dad if she does not get her way - i.e not only child support but also spousal support - from a man who is going over and above with two jobs trying to support the family. She has excuses why she cannot get a full time job in the future while everyone knows there is child care assistance for low income workers.
Then there are those of us who are frustrated by the abuse of marriage as a means to a green card; too many people get US residency and dispose of the spouse that allowed them to do so. While this may not be OP's action plan, many of us are weary of the fraudulent activities in the immigration process and are suspicious when the pattern appears in what might actually be a legitimate case.
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
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T53147
I suspect Disagreeable, like myself, is disturbed by OP's attitude as reflected in her posts. OP has excuses and places blame when she has done nothing but sit home with the baby. She appears to be threatening to take the baby away from dad if she does not get her way - i.e not only child support but also spousal support - from a man who is going over and above with two jobs trying to support the family. She has excuses why she cannot get a full time job in the future while everyone knows there is child care assistance for low income workers.
Then there are those of us who are frustrated by the abuse of marriage as a means to a green card; too many people get US residency and dispose of the spouse that allowed them to do so. While this may not be OP's action plan, many of us are weary of the fraudulent activities in the immigration process and are suspicious when the pattern appears in what might actually be a legitimate case.
This is a legal forum. The OP has a clear bonafied marriage. This is not a place to express your "weariness" of those you perceive to have obtained green cards via a fraudulent marriage.
Re: Greencard Holding Mother Divorcing a U.S. Citizen, Who Gets Custody of 18 Month O
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Quoting
T53147
I suspect Disagreeable, like myself, is disturbed by OP's attitude as reflected in her posts. OP has excuses and places blame when she has done nothing but sit home with the baby. She appears to be threatening to take the baby away from dad if she does not get her way - i.e not only child support but also spousal support - from a man who is going over and above with two jobs trying to support the family. She has excuses why she cannot get a full time job in the future while everyone knows there is child care assistance for low income workers.
Then there are those of us who are frustrated by the abuse of marriage as a means to a green card; too many people get US residency and dispose of the spouse that allowed them to do so. While this may not be OP's action plan, many of us are weary of the fraudulent activities in the immigration process and are suspicious when the pattern appears in what might actually be a legitimate case.
If there's one person here who has the absolute right to bitch about it, that person would be me. I did it the legal way. The expensive way. I do have a huge issue with those who would rather circumvent the law rather than actually follow it.
But to post information which is at best shaky, and at worst flat out wrong, is doing nothing at all to help anyone.
Every person on this thread (other than the OP) knows that the length of the marriage and how long the poster has had a green card is completely irrelevant. Whether the green card is conditional or not, is also irrelevant.
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Disagreeable
We only know she has an 18 month old baby. We do not know if she has transitioned from a temporary green card to a regular green card or really what her current status is other than legally here. I was providing the other info as a response to T53147's comment she should get a job. Why do you want me to be the bad guy for trying to help?
You weren't trying to help and you know it. Or perhaps you can share why the matter of conditional versus unconditional is important here.
I expected better of you, for some reason.