Stopping Grandparent Access in B.C., Canada

Hello

Iam new here and would like to thank anyone in advance to responding to me.

We are an intact family, there is my husband my self and our 4 kids. My husbands mother, has been emotionally abusive to us and the kids on ocassion, for the last 8 yrs. She has finally upset our house so badly my husband and I felt it was in the best interest of the children to no longer be around her.

Here our some of the things she has said and done.

She told our twin daughters who our 5 that is they didn't behave and go to sleep,"Gramma wasn't enjoying there company and wouldn't love them anymore.

She says the twins have the look of 19yr olds in there eyes.

She said the twins are provocative.

She also cam to our house and informed us that our 13 yr old son is molesting the other children.

She contantly be littles our parenting, says we are not trusting parents.
She told her own son who is 33 yrs old she doesn't trust him.

She has phoned the ministry for children and families on us, and they closed the file.
She says they aren't doing there job.

I have tried over the 8 yrs to get along with her for my husbands sake , as he always said it is easier to get along then get in a fight. This was the final straw, for both of us, she has made our loving house, a nightmare the last 6 months.

Her husband says she has a screw loose and I know in my heart there is something wrong with her, but she says she is right and can never apologize for anything, has always played favoutism between our 4 kids.

We have tried to talk with her a couple of times, but again she is right we are wrong and we our bad and untrusting and horrible parents in her eyes.

I can't take being told" I can't believe you give your kids pop, I never gave my kids pop, what kind of mother are you". This was said infront of the children. She is always emtionally and vebally abusive towards people in front of the kids. So we decided that it was in the childrens best interest not to have visits anymore. Now she is threating to get a lawyer and take us to court for visitation. We have agreed to go to councelling with her, but I feel it won't help as her husband, her 2 two sons and myself have al tried to speak with her and she say's we are all wrong.

My fear is we are a single income family with four kids and really can't afford a lawyer and she has more money then she knows what to do with. Iam not sure of the laws in BC Canada, and really would like some input on what people think her chances are of getting visitation to our children is. I will not I have asked all the kids if they would like to visit with Grama and they all said NO.

Thank-You again

Concerned Mom

I feel your pain My husband and I are going thru something very similar. Here in the states I know for the most part if you are an intact family and neither parent has been found unfit they have NO RIGHTS unless you give it to them. It is a violation of the parents right to privacy. In BC Canada I do not know, but I would think it would be the same way since you all have the same basic rights to parent your way as we do. I hope you find the answers you need cause I still have not gotten any helpful response to my thread. Good Luck to you are your family.

Are you and your husband in agreement, that you wish to stop her from seeing your children? Will he hold to that?

Thanks for your replies.

Yes my husband feels the same way. We both would like it to not be forever, but she needs to get some help and get her life straightened out, so the controlling and abusing stops. My mother in-law hasn't seen the kids since July 2006.

He says in his heart he has to go to councelling with her to try and get her help. I have also agreed to go. But this is a very small step, as she is still phoning and wanting to see the kids.

I was hoping to get a few more responses from people. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this. I feel like I am banging my head against a wall:wallbang: My husband is so upset with his Mom and just wants her out of our lives. She is now insisting on Councelling so we went once and it was a joke. She is not sorry for anything and we have the problem. Councellor just shook head.

What are the chances in court of her getting access? Has anyone had experience with this procedure. Thanks!

This is a U.S.-centered forum and, surprisingly, there does not seem to be a whole lot of good Canadian legal information available online.