Establishing a Visitation Schedule for a Parent Who Lives Four Hours Away
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida
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Let me give you a little background:
The father and I met while in college and found out I was pregnant in August. Once September came around and he realized I was actually having a baby, he decided he didn't want anything to do with me or the child. He came to one of my doctor visits there after assuming I would not file for child support.
He knew about the day our child was to be born because I text messaged him. I gave him the address and room number to come and visit but he didn't show up. Instead he went to DJ a party that week that u was in the hospital.
His mother called me the day after I had given birth telling me it was my responsibility to put him on the birth certificate and they would do whatever they needed to do to change our sons last name to his fathers.
Despite the nonsense, a few weeks later his mother asked if her son and herself could come and visit our son. I of course said yes and we set a date for that saturday. (I have all communication between us through emails.)
That Saturday they did not show up again.
A month later I was served with papers saying the father wants all summer every summer visitation, all winter break and all spring break every year visitation with all these holidays. He also wants our son every weekend at the end of the month.
He also filed in the paper work that he wants to change our sons last and middle name.
He does not have a lawyer, but has the help of his mother who works in the courthouse in a county I don't reside in.
We have mediation coming up and I was trying to get suggestions on a parenting plan that might work for the both of us. He has never met his son before and he will be 9 months old. He has a battery charge on his record. When we were together he physically put his hands on me out of anger. He consistantly drinks whenever he has a chance. He has never taken care of a child and doesn't have an adequate living environment since he's still in college living with three other males in an apartment.
I don't want his son not to establish a relationship with him, I just want our son to be in a safe environment.
Re: Establishing a Visitation Schedule for a Parent Who Lives Only 4hours Away
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Quoting
AprilMay05
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida
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Let me give you a little background:
The father and I met while in college and found out I was pregnant in August. Once September came around and he realized I was actually having a baby, he decided he didn't want anything to do with me or the child. He came to one of my doctor visits there after assuming I would not file for child support.
He knew about the day our child was to be born because I text messaged him. I gave him the address and room number to come and visit but he didn't show up. Instead he went to DJ a party that week that u was in the hospital.
His mother called me the day after I had given birth telling me it was my responsibility to put him on the birth certificate and they would do whatever they needed to do to change our sons last name to his fathers.
Despite the nonsense, a few weeks later his mother asked if her son and herself could come and visit our son. I of course said yes and we set a date for that saturday. (I have all communication between us through emails.)
That Saturday they did not show up again.
A month later I was served with papers saying the father wants all summer every summer visitation, all winter break and all spring break every year visitation with all these holidays. He also wants our son every weekend at the end of the month.
He also filed in the paper work that he wants to change our sons last and middle name.
He does not have a lawyer, but has the help of his mother who works in the courthouse in a county I don't reside in.
We have mediation coming up and I was trying to get suggestions on a parenting plan that might work for the both of us. He has never met his son before and he will be 9 months old. He has a battery charge on his record. When we were together he physically put his hands on me out of anger. He consistantly drinks whenever he has a chance. He has never taken care of a child and doesn't have an adequate living environment since he's still in college living with three other males in an apartment.
I don't want his son not to establish a relationship with him, I just want our son to be in a safe environment.
How far away does dad live from you?
Re: Establishing a Visitation Schedule for a Parent Who Lives Four Hours Away
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Quoting
llworking
How far away does dad live from you?
The title suggests 4 hours away.
I'm guessing the summer break, winter break, etc are refering to times dad won't be In college? Will he be staying with his mom then? If so, that would change the living arrangements. But considering the age of this child, I don't think the court would order a whole summer away from mom (for the moment anyway).
Why is there a 4 hour trip between you and dad? Did you move away from him with baby?
Re: Establishing a Visitation Schedule for a Parent Who Lives Four Hours Away
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Quoting
wess1881
The title suggests 4 hours away.
I'm guessing the summer break, winter break, etc are refering to times dad won't be In college? Will he be staying with his mom then? If so, that would change the living arrangements. But considering the age of this child, I don't think the court would order a whole summer away from mom (for the moment anyway).
Why is there a 4 hour trip between you and dad? Did you move away from him with baby?
I moved away from the area. We were going to the same college because I didn't have anyone to help me with the pregnancy 4 hours away. I moved back in with my mother so that I would have help once our son was born. I moved when I was 7 months pregnant.
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4 Hours Away.
Re: Establishing a Visitation Schedule for a Parent Who Lives Four Hours Away
Ok, first things first. Did dad file in your county? If not, you need to move to for a change of venue.
Paternity will need to be established. Once established, a parenting plan will be established. Because he doesn't know the child, you can request supervised visitation in your area and you should ask that the supervisor be someone of your choosing, preferably someone with whom your baby is familiar. Someone NOT you. Gradually, if he follows through, he will have unsupervised visitation.
Given the age of the child, his request is completely unreasonable. If I'm reading it correctly, he wants every single holiday and break and the entire summer and all weekends? Am I correct? First of all, that wording is geared more towards a school aged child, not a baby.
Four hours isn't a huge distance that would give rise to a long distance parenting plan, which is essentially what that is, although I may be wrong. But NO parenting plan would keep your child from you for an entire summer and all holidays.
Next, do you have all communications dating back to your pregnancy demonstrating he had no interest? May not mean much, but it may help regarding his demands to change the child's middle name. The court may allow the last name change - you can ask for a hyphenated last name to include your last name.
You need to consult with a lawyer, and you really would be better off retaining counsel to represent you. It can be expensive, but in the long run it's the best choice. Do you have any relatives who can help you retain an attorney?
Also, once paternity is established you need to request child support.
Seriously - go talk to an attorney. Go talk to a few. Many will give free consultations.
Check out this website on FL parenting plans: http://www.custodyxchange.com/florid...nting-plan.php
There are links you can click on to sample parenting plans in various FL counties on the page. Just scroll down and you'll see them.