Can You Let an Out-of-Control Teen Live With Relatives

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: PA
IS it illegal to leave my out of control teen in the custody of his father or paternal grandparents?
I have seen some responses and they seem harsh.
I love my son and i need help. I've tried every resource available. I DO NOT WANNA GIVE UP i just don't know how to help.

In general, as long as you are providing for him and he is not being abused or neglected, he can be where you allow him to be.

So if i dont pick him up? The worse that will happen is they might bring him back? Thank you for your reponse
Is it considered abandonment?

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Quoting sadmom14

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So if i dont pick him up? The worse that will happen is they might bring him back? Thank you for your reponse
Is it considered abandonment?

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It depends on the details. Do the people he is with WANT to care for him? Can you provide insurance, money, and other necessities as needed? Will they get him to school and provide proper food, clothing and shelter? You will be responsible to see that he gets these things.

If you have any questions about the circumstances, you might want to speak with a local attorney who you can provide all the pertinent details.

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Quoting sadmom14

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My question involves juvenile law in the State of: PA
IS it illegal to leave my out of control teen in the custody of his father or paternal grandparents?
I have seen some responses and they seem harsh.
I love my son and i need help. I've tried every resource available. I DO NOT WANNA GIVE UP i just don't know how to help.

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Have you tried this? http://www.parecovery.org/principles_cassp.shtml

For the record, unless there are odd circumstances I think that sometimes the most responsible and caring thing to do is to find alternate care for a problematic child. It's hard. It's heartbreaking. But it is a valid option.

Just saying.

You will still be responsible for the child and you will still have to provide for him. But, you will have no control over what goes on in another persons home. I know this may be impossible for you to imagine, but things could get much harder on you. You need to talk to a counselor as well as an attorney.

Thank you for the link. I found some info i am gonna call some people.
They technically do not (want) him. He is visiting and i am feeling traumatized and literally am having anxiety and i do not want him to come home. It is a safe place but they are not gona be happy with me.
I just feel lost. I don't know what to do.

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I would do anything. I can't have him treat us like this. Mybe different environment will be better. He hates me.

So leave him with his dad and let him know that you want him to take custody of him. Work out a financial situation where you pay him child support and please get yourself into therapy.

I'm going to repeat, leave the child with DAD, not the grandparents.

For what it is worth, all teenagers hate their parents. And they also do all they can to make their parents lives miserable. If his Dad isn't going to be happy with him living there, he may not allow him to stay. Grandparents usually aren't a good option in situations like this because they aren't firm enough and the child does whatever it is that they want to. You haven't given anything specific so I am assuming that the problems deal mainy with rebellion and problems with authority figures. If the child isn't in some tyoe of counseling, he need to be there. You also need to get counseling to learn how to deal with him, even if he doesn't live with you. If you think that if he doesn't live with you that he won't control and/or effect your life like he does when he is living with you, you may be in for a rude awaking.

If the child goes to live with someone else, including his Dad, you need to have the custody issues worked out in court. If you don't he may decide that he can do the things you want him to do when he gets tired of Dad's rules and living there and he will convince you to let him come back home. Then when he gets tired of your rules again, he will want to go back to Dad's, etc. If the courts are involved, it will be much more difficult for him to move when he doesn't like where he is living and he will learn how to cope with things he doesn't like instead of running from them.

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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For what it is worth, all teenagers hate their parents. And they also do all they can to make their parents lives miserable. If his Dad isn't going to be happy with him living there, he may not allow him to stay. Grandparents usually aren't a good option in situations like this because they aren't firm enough and the child does whatever it is that they want to. You haven't given anything specific so I am assuming that the problems deal mainy with rebellion and problems with authority figures. If the child isn't in some tyoe of counseling, he need to be there. You also need to get counseling to learn how to deal with him, even if he doesn't live with you. If you think that if he doesn't live with you that he won't control and/or effect your life like he does when he is living with you, you may be in for a rude awaking.

If the child goes to live with someone else, including his Dad, you need to have the custody issues worked out in court. If you don't he may decide that he can do the things you want him to do when he gets tired of Dad's rules and living there and he will convince you to let him come back home. Then when he gets tired of your rules again, he will want to go back to Dad's, etc. If the courts are involved, it will be much more difficult for him to move when he doesn't like where he is living and he will learn how to cope with things he doesn't like instead of running from them.

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Sorry, Mercy, but I don't think OP's situation is anything remotely similar to having an ornery child who doesn't like the rules. That's markedly easier to remedy and this situation is much harder to "fix", and infinitely more serious a matter.

Getting a custody order changed also does not mean the teen can't run back and forth between parents. It carries no guarantee, and that's just one more reason I suggested the equivalent of a CHINS permission.

Again, this isn't a rebellious 10 year old we're dealing with. This is a teen who has much deeper issues. The entire situation is more likely to have been present from a very early age, and progressed steadily to what Mom is dealing with right now.

The counseling - if only for Mom - is an excellent idea.

It's just that I'm not convinced that there is an easier fix for this one.

Edit: I do want to reiterate something for Mom. There are times when no matter how hard we try to fix things, it ends up endangering other members of the household. Sometimes getting the State involved is the only realistic way to ensure that ALL family members are protected.