Making a Case for Supervised Visitation

It is highly improbable that a judge would order a custody arrangement for a father who is 500 miles away that doesn't include a tightly controlled visitation schedule for a one year old. As a practical matter, he lacks enough experience with and knowledge of the child to be able to provide care for your child without some type of supervision.

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Quoting AdamK

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It is highly improbable that a judge would order a custody arrangement for a father who is 500 miles away that doesn't include a tightly controlled visitation schedule for a one year old. As a practical matter, he lacks enough experience with and knowledge of the child to be able to provide care for your child without some type of supervision.

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Does that mean Mom should have needed supervision before she was allowed to leave the hospital with the child?

When I had my oldest child, I had a lot of support coming home from the hospital as a new mother. My issue isn't that he couldn't make a bottle or change a diaper, anyone can do that or learn to care for a young child. The problem is his severe mental illness issues and substance abuse problems, as well as his continuous threats of violence towards himself and others.

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Quoting indianamom1

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When I had my oldest child, I had a lot of support coming home from the hospital as a new mother. My issue isn't that he couldn't make a bottle or change a diaper, anyone can do that or learn to care for a young child. The problem is his severe mental illness issues and substance abuse problems, as well as his continuous threats of violence towards himself and others.

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No, I know you're not saying that.

I'm simply asking Adam how and when "Parent has no experience...with the child..." should be applied. Married military parents, for example, aren't expected to be supervised when they eventually meet their new child.

There are some very valid reasons in your situation to request supervised visitation at least in the short term. But a parent shouldn't be penalized for lack of experience alone.

I agree.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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No, I know you're not saying that.

I'm simply asking Adam how and when "Parent has no experience...with the child..." should be applied. Married military parents, for example, aren't expected to be supervised when they eventually meet their new child.

There are some very valid reasons in your situation to request supervised visitation at least in the short term. But a parent shouldn't be penalized for lack of experience alone.

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For lack of experience alone, no, but in the case of a situation where the baby has never met the parent, at least a short introductory period is wise. A newborn going home from the hospital really has not bonded with anyone yet and therefore could bond with either parent. However, once a child is a couple of months old, they are going to have bonded with the parent they know, and will grieve for that parent if they are separated for a significant amount of time. Since the child is too young to understand what is going on, it needs some phasing into.

Then, you take the above scenario case and combine that with the other issues in OP's case...and that's a double whammy.

In your position I would let sleeping dogs lie and keep things just as they are. The issue could be forced if you were to go on any form of public assistance. Otherwise, I would just let it be and raise your child on your own and hope like hell he stays away and out of your lives.

My niece made the mistake of going after her ex bf for support - he had been stalking her for ages and had finally stopped - then she filed and stirred up a hornet's nest.

She was awarded a paltry sum which he never pays, he was ordered to carry insurance for the child which he doesn't do, was ordered to pay half of the day care costs which he doesn't do, and makes her life a living hell picking up his son and dropping him off whenever he feels like it. As soon as Support Services catches up with him he quits his job (lives with his mom so no rent) and now he works under the table.

I warned her not to file but she didn't listen and regrets it every day. Dad is only interested in the child as a way to control her, started stalking her again, and slashes the tires on her var every few months and the police won't do anything to help her.

If dad is as unreliable as the father of my great-nephew you should just move forward with your life and save yourself the problems. I know it sounds cold, but in some cases it's a sad reality.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Does that mean Mom should have needed supervision before she was allowed to leave the hospital with the child?

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No court has jurisdiction to issue such an order, so the question is moot. Here OP is specifically seeking establishing jurisdiction.

The difference between OP's situation and the examples you have given is that the biodad here is a total stranger to the child and a potential flight risk. Who knows what he might do or how he might respond if the child has a medical issue arise. We can reasonably assume that a mother of a newborn or a returning military parent is going to behave rationally and find appropriate ways to care for the child.

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Quoting AdamK

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The difference between OP's situation and the examples you have given is that the biodad here is a total stranger to the child and a potential flight risk. Who knows what he might do or how he might respond if the child has a medical issue arise.

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And the deployed father who hasn't met the child? He's also a total stranger to the child, yes?

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We can reasonably assume that a mother of a newborn or a returning military parent is going to behave rationally and find appropriate ways to care for the child.

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I cannot make such an assumption. "Mom" and "Military parent" do not equate to "rational and appropriate".

Just to remind everyone, mom is in Indiana, Indiana has jurisdiction and Indiana has the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines which are nearly guaranteed to be what a judge will order if parents do not agree.

The following tends to be what the judges order in a long distance situation if the parents do not agree:

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Commentary

When distance is a major factor, the following parenting time schedule may be helpful:

(A) Child Under 3 Years Of Age. For a child under 3 years of age, the noncustodial parent shall have the option to exercise parenting time, in the community of the custodial parent, up to two five hour periods each week. The five hour period may occur on Saturday and Sunday on alternate weekends only.

(B) Child 3 and 4 Years of Age. For a child 3 and 4 years of age, up to six (6) one week segments annually, each separated by at least (6) weeks. Including the pickup and return of the child, no segment shall exceed eight (8) days.

(C) Child 5 Years of Age and Older. For a child 5 years of age and older who attends a school with a traditional school calendar, seven (7) weeks of the school summer vacation period and seven (7) days of the school winter vacation plus the entire spring break, including both weekends if applicable. Such parenting time, however, shall be arranged so that the custodial parent shall have religious holidays, if celebrated, in alternate years.

If the child attends a school with a year-round or balanced calendar, the noncustodial parent’s parenting time should be adjusted so that the noncustodial parent and child spend at least as much time together as they would under a traditional school calendar.

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So, as you can see, even with a dad having no issues, if he and mom cannot agree, he is unlikely to get to take the child out of the child's community until the child is three.

Personally I think that the odds of dad even making it to Indiana to file are slim to none unless he has parents with enough money that they are willing to hire an attorney for him to fight a long distance battle. Unfortunately people with serious substance abuse issues, and significant mental illness on top of that, just never have the money.

However if he ever does get clean and gets his mental health issues under control, then that is when he may actually make the effort.