What Happens if You Ignore a Parent's Instruction Not to Contact Their Child

Sounds like somebody has a little bit of a hero complex going on. This will not end well, but there will be no convincing him of that. See cdwjava's post above for how this turns out...

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Quoting cbg

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However, you need to get it through your skull that they can QUITE LEGALLY make life a living hell for your girlfriend, including having a parent or family member ATTEND CLASSES with her to see that she doesn't talk to anyone they don't want her to.

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Attend classes with her? What high-school teacher would allow this to happen? What teacher would allow some nutcase parent to disrupt a class?

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They can leave her with a mattress on the floor and two changes of weather appropriate clothing.

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I think that might constitute child abuse.

And you'd be wrong in both cases. There's nothing disruptive about having a parent sit in the classroom, and there's no entitlement to a bedstead or more that two changes of clothing.

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Quoting John_28

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Attend classes with her? What high-school teacher would allow this to happen? What teacher would allow some nutcase parent to disrupt a class?



I think that might constitute child abuse.

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You don't have any children, do you? I was not only allowed to sit in on my children's classes but it was offered to me without even asking. My children's teachers enjoyed a parent taking such an interest in their children.


It also caused the other kids in the class to tend to act a bit better as well which is always welcome to a teacher.

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Quoting cbg

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There's nothing disruptive about having a parent sit in the classroom.

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If a student is old enough to be in high school, and the student's parents sit in the class, wouldn't that embarrass the student and ruin that student's concentration in class? And wouldn't that also cause the student to be taunted by classmates? I know what kind of field day my classmates would have had if my parents had sat in my classroom.

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Quoting John_28

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If a student is old enough to be in high school, and the student's parents sit in the class, wouldn't that embarrass the student and ruin that student's concentration in class? And wouldn't that also cause the student to be taunted by classmates? I know what kind of field day my classmates would have had if my parents had sat in my classroom.

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it might and it might actually be the underlying purpose of the parent being there.

your point?

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Quoting John_28

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Attend classes with her? What high-school teacher would allow this to happen? What teacher would allow some nutcase parent to disrupt a class?

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SITTING with a child is hardly "disrupting" the class. As a note, it happens. The school may not even be able to prevent it.

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I think that might constitute child abuse.

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Hardly! The law requires that a child be provided with three hots and a cot, not a four poster bed, three changes of clothing, and three five course meals. There are many children that live in hovels and even vehicles, sleep on a couch, and have three changes of clothes for the week, yet THAT is not "abuse." So, move away from the tough love idea being abuse.

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Quoting John_28

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If a student is old enough to be in high school, and the student's parents sit in the class, wouldn't that embarrass the student and ruin that student's concentration in class?

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The social embarrassment alone is one of the great reasons to do this! Kids tend to surrender after one day of mom or dad sitting in class!

I recall a time when a spoiled brat of a teen was causing problems so mom sat in on her classes for a couple of days ... in her bathrobe, curlers, and pink, fuzzy slippers! Two days of mom in class and with her at lunch talking about the princess's toilet training and training bra experiences at lunch, the teen caved and started following the rules at home. Going with a chil dto school is a time-honored tough love technique that has been practiced since at least the 1970s.

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And wouldn't that also cause the student to be taunted by classmates? I know what kind of field day my classmates would have had if my parents had sat in my classroom.

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And I bet that you would do anything at home to prevent that from happening again!

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Quoting cdwjava

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I recall a time when a spoiled brat of a teen was causing problems so mom sat in on her classes for a couple of days ... in her bathrobe, curlers, and pink, fuzzy slippers! Two days of mom in class and with her at lunch talking about the princess's toilet training and training bra experiences at lunch, the teen caved and started following the rules at home. Going with a chil dto school is a time-honored tough love technique that has been practiced since at least the 1970s.

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I didn't realize that there were teachers and school administrators that were stupid enough to allow their schools and classrooms to be used as a battleground in domestic disputes between students and their parents. I would tell both student and parent to keep their dispute out of my classroom.

And just what would have happened if the teen who was embarrassed and humiliated by mom had violently lashed out at her classmates? We have enough problems with bullying. Now we have teachers and administrators ENCOURAGING humiliation and ostracism?

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Quoting John_28

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I didn't realize that there were teachers and school administrators that were stupid enough to allow their schools and classrooms to be used as a battleground in domestic disputes between students and their parents. I would tell both student and parent to keep their dispute out of my classroom.

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Schools are not closed sanctums. They are there to support the learning process - part of which may include parental involvement. Whether YOU like it or not is entirely irrelevant. You are a child. Children often disagree with the ways of grown ups and their betters. It's the way of the world.

And, you as a teacher may have NO SAY in whether that parent enters your classroom with the student at all. If you were a teacher, you may not like it, but chances are the student will already have been a problem. And, if the administration was okay with it, you'd have to suck it up and teach as normal.

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And just what would have happened if the teen who was embarrassed and humiliated by mom had violently lashed out at her classmates? We have enough problems with bullying. Now we have teachers and administrators ENCOURAGING humiliation and ostracism?

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Then the student who lashed out could face the consequences of her actions. Bottom line is that the student can generally prevent these sorts of tough love actions by their concerned parents by simply following some basic rules at home. While such measures are rare, they can and do occur, and are perfectly lawful and often within the rights of the parents. The parent could also pull the child out of school. Perhaps the child would prefer that mom and dad homeschool her, or send her to another school far away. These are all options.

Parents don't take these actions if the child has not pushed them to this level of participation in their child's life. So, it is entirely within the control of the child whether their parent(s) will attend school with them or not. While rare, in every instance I have seen it used it has been successful in changing behavior. And, in such instances, I have never seen an outburst such as you describe where the child becomes bullied and teased and then feels compelled to lash out.

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Quoting cdwjava

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If you were a teacher, you may not like it, but chances are the student will already have been a problem.

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But what if the problem occurs only at home and not in the classroom? What if the student has no problems whatsoever in my class? Why allow my classroom and other students to be used as pawns in some domestic battle that is none of our business?