I am Italian, father of a 13 y/o boy born in NYC in 2001. His mom and I are still married, although separate since 2006.
His mom (my w...ife :wallbang: ) is willing to sponsor me to stay, work and get the green card.
We've been told that we can do it as "family reunion" although we will NOT live together in the same home. According to what some lawyer told us, we will have to lie to INS, saying we are living together, while instead I will live in my own place, near them.
If this is how it should be done (I thought that the fact I was coming back for my son was going to be enough), then what are the risks involved? What if INS will find out we are living in 2 separate homes? What are the risks for both my w...ife and I? Is there any risk of jail for her?
Thank you!
Lying to the USCIS to Pursue Family Reunification
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01-14-2015, 07:32 PMbambooitLying to the USCIS to Pursue Family Reunification
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01-14-2015, 08:03 PMDisagreeableRe: Child Reunion Under Wife Sponsor
That is called fraud and will get both of you banned from the US permanently.
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01-14-2015, 09:37 PMT53147Re: Child Reunion Under Wife Sponsor
Your son can sponsor you when he is 21.
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01-15-2015, 04:34 AMllworkingRe: Child Reunion Under Wife Sponsor
This guy was really rude down the street...I don't know that he intended to be quite as vulgar as he was, but he has already been given a lot of information that he was not happy to receive.
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01-15-2015, 05:11 AMBooRennieRe: Child Reunion Under Wife Sponsor
Yes, this is the guy who claims that his 'wife' is abusing his son.
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01-15-2015, 05:46 AMstealth2Re: Child Reunion Under Wife SponsorAND that he is already living in the US.Quote:
Quoting BooRennie
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01-15-2015, 07:49 AMMr. KnowitallRe: Lying to the USCIS to Pursue Family ReunificationI expect that what the lawyer actually told you is that you cannot achieve your plan without lying, which is quite different from advising you to lie.Quote:
Quoting bambooit
If the other posts are correct, you are presently in conflict with your wife, which raises the question of why your wife would commit a felony to help you commit immigration fraud, or why she would even want you in the U.S.
Also, if you are in the U.S., your present status (or lack thereof) and the circumstances of your entry could become relevant to any effort to remain in the U.S.
If the U.S. discovers that you are committing immigration fraud, and have lied in your filings with the USCIS, you will be subject to removal proceedings and a permanent ban from entering the United States.Quote:
Quoting bambooit
Your wife could be charged with a crime, and it is a crime that carries risk of both a felony record and potential incarceration. -
01-15-2015, 10:43 AMDogmatiqueRe: Child Reunion Under Wife SponsorI knew I'd seen this tale elsewhere!Quote:
Quoting llworking
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01-19-2015, 07:19 PMbambooitRe: Child Reunion Under Wife Sponsor
[QUOTE=Mr. Knowitall;860046]I expect that what the lawyer actually told you is that you cannot achieve your plan without lying, which is quite different from advising you to lie.
Sorry, I didn't mean to say he suggeted us to lie. Maybe you misinterpreted what I wrote or maybe it's my bad english.
If the other posts are correct, you are presently in conflict with your wife, which raises the question of why your wife would commit a felony to help you commit immigration fraud, or why she would even want you in the U.S.
The story...
My son's mom (still wife here in the US because she never deposited the divorce I optained in 2004 while in Europe) implored me to come back in my sons life, admitting all the bads she did in the past (parental alination, threatened to kill the boy unless I was going back with her, lying to the judge, etc). She implored me to be back in his life, claiming she understood how bad she was and saying how important it was for our son to have me, things I know very well, reason for which I tried many times to be his father. Of course it was all lies. Her goal was me. She wanted me back and she used the child-father thing to have me back. She did it in 2005, when our son was a newborn, then again when we moved to Holland in 2003 and then again in 2005.
The agreement was clear: "I am coming back for the boy, not for you, not to be with you. I will have my own place near you so that I can be with him every day, that's it."
She always said yes but then, agreement down the drain, ending up in using the child as a weapon against me for not giving her what she wants.
My sense of responsibility and love for my son always made try again and again, always failing. I tried many times knowing I was always on the safe side, meaning knowing I was able to step out any time with little or no consequences. Of course now the child is not a baby anymore so I had to be careful in rejoining him, not to have him traumatized by losing me again, reason why I am not seeing him in these days, even though I live 15 minutes away from him and I could see him every day.
This time in 2014, 9 years after and I returned to America to rejoin him with the same agreement as before with his mom. I thought he was old enough to understand what was going on, old enough to understand his mom plays games, old enough to understand I really wanted him to have his dad again, etc. I was wrong. The boy is completelly in her hands, played, brain washed and manipulated against me (parental alienation), now that, once again, his mom didn't get what she wanted (me).
This is what happened this time...
1) I have recorded all the phone calls where she admits all she did in the past. (it's all in youtube, private of course, for my son to hear when he will be old enough). It's the truth he deserves about why he grew up without his dad.
2) We had all written down in emails. "I will come back, I will stay in your place for the time I need to find a job, then I will move out to my own place. You will sponsor me to stay. No living together, no sex, no romance. Her words (written) "I just want our son to have you!"
3) DURHAM November 2014 - I came back, I started looking for a job and I got one after only one week of research, after one week of HELL, again, living with her in her house. It was in Morehead City, far from them, but it was ok, just so that I could have left her. While with them in their home...She started again asking for sex, for intimacy, etc (all recorded on audio file using my cell, at night time). My refusal (also recorded) drove her crazy to the point that one day I couldn't stand it anymore and so I decided to leave. I went to the bedroom to pack my stuff. She came in the room, she closed the door and she sat down on the floor screaming to the top of her lungs "You will need to kill me to get out of here!" - I also recorded all this, while it was heppening. She's a baby sitter. She baby sits 3 kids. The youngest one was sleeping in the living room on the couch while all this was happening in the bedroom. I kept reminder her that a baby she was responsible for was in the living room and her reply was "I don't care. I don't care anymore about anything and anybody!", while crying and screaming. Yes, crazy shit you need to see it to believe it. All this is RECORDED and online. I managed to calm her down and make her step away from the door so that I could have gone in the living room to see the little girl. She was still sleeping. It was time for her to go take the other 2 kids from school, the baby girl's brother so I decided to go with her. I didn't want that girl to be alonw with her in the car.
4) I had to leave that house so I chose to take off the day before I was supposed to move to the new place, near the company I was going to work for. I left when she was not at home.
5) Right after I left her home I texted her to tell her I was gone so she was the one supposed to pick up our son from school. She didn't go, saying (actually writing, all in text messages) "I don't care about him anymore. I can't live like this anymore, I am not going to take care of him anymore... take him... " and so on. She didn't go so the principal called me because unable to reach his mom (her cell was on, she was texting me, but she didn't pick up). I told the principal that I was away and I told him that his mom knew I was gone so that she was the one supposed to go take him. Police took the child at home that night.
She kept asking me to take him away and take care of him. I told her I was happy to do so but she had to make it legal, giving me full custody. She didn't do it.
6) Morehead City - After few days, when things were calm again, I told her where I was and I told her to come to me with the boy. They came, we spent 4-5 days together. The very last day she decided to go, leaving the boy with me. I spoke to my son for the very first time and I explained to him that he had to talk to her and convince her to come back to take him, unless he wanted to go to the italian embassy in Washington, hoping they were going to help me to keep him with me. He refused because he felt sorry for his mom and because he was afraid of leaving his country, going to a place where he didn't speak the language, he didn't want to leave his friends, etc. Ok, I understand. Point is, the boy understood I care about him and I wanted to find the way to be his dad. His mom comes back to take him. She comes in the house and they started having an argument. He started crying accusing her of being an abuser, saying things I didn't know like "You beat me up, you bite my fingers and my hears... and more". He literally exploded knowing I was there for him, he felt he was not alone anyore. She smacked his face, twice, while he kept screaming all she did to him in the past. Unfortunately I didn't record this, but I have other recordings where she calls him names like "You are an ass!", while he was crying trying to apologize for something he did few days before. (I spoke about this even to his teachers and to the principal, explaining that the boy is having comportamental issues due to the the mistreatments at home. They didn't give a damn, they didn't help me in anyway. Nothing! Alone, as always, assisting to my son mistreatment, ipotent! You live this stuff then maybe you understand where my anger comes from.
7) The new job didn't go right so I decided to quit. She seemed to finally accept I was gone for her and she seemed to understand that all that our son was going through in school, with friends, etc was because the missing father and because she was not as good as she thought she was. I thought she was going to be good this time that my son really was into me, again. So I decided to go back to Durham and try to find another job, instead of leaving America, once again, leaving my sone, once again.
8) Back to Durham - I found another job after only2 days, this time only 15 minutes drive from home. My son and I had the chance of bonding more and more every day that passed by. This caused bad feelings in her, she started being worryed about losing him, or losing control over him, like it happened in 2005 when I came back when he was only 4. One day, in 2005 after few days I was back, he said "I want to stay always with daddy". I will never forget her face when she heard him saying that. We were at Big Lots in Durham. That sentenced he said triggered something in her that caused all the crazy mess that pushed me to leave America again. I could't accept to see my son used as a weapon against me to that extent. I skip this part, I don't even want to remember it.
9) She tried playing us, me and my son, to put one against the other one. She started saying that he told her he didn't want me here, and stuff like that. The boy cried saying it was not true. I told him I believed him, to reassure him. He believed me so he stopped crying, telling his mom she was a liar. The discussion developed to the point I told her I believed him and I also told her she was lying. At that point I told her she's been a liar to our son for so many years, trying to convince him I abandoned him. I took her to the point of laying again about what happened in the past. She lied again but at this point my son didn't beleive her anymore. It was late night, he was supposed to go to school the day after so he went to bed. She then started to scream and go crazy again against me, calling me liar, accusing me of all the things she knows she deserved to be accused for. I was there on the couch just listening while she was going all over the place against me and him. The only thing I attempted was trying to make her stop screaming, reminding her that the boy needed to sleep. I have told all this to a psychiatrist fiend of mine who knows the whole story (the same one who told me she's a GROWN WOUNLDED CHILD to stay away from, the one who told me "She needs serious help", after talking to the 2 of us back in NYC in 2001 when our son was 2 months old, right before the life threats to him.
Our son comes back from his bedroom, crying. He heard all that was going on. The morning after, before going to school, he came to me saying "Dad please come with us to School. I don't want to go in the car by myself. She will beat me up!" I reassure him telling me it was not going to happen and I told him why. He understood, he left with his mom. Nothing happened in the car on their wy to school.
11) Hell again in that house after that day. That woman is not only sick, she's evil to an extreme extent. I couldn't leave my son at that point. Everything was going very good between him and I. The very last Sunday we spend together me and him, I told him that I didn't know if I was going to make it to stay there, because of the hell his mom was giving me when he was not at home, but I reassured him that no matter if I would have left the house, I was not going to leave him.
12) I didn't make it to stay. I left. She knows where I work and so to keep her away from doing shit to my working place, I told her that I would have sent the audio file to the parents of the little girl she baby sits if she would have ever came to my work.
13) At 7pm of the very same day I left, I called my son to tell him I was gone but that I was still here, as promised. His cell was unreachable, number disconnected.
14) two days passed by when he finally called me. He was accusing me of abandon him again, accused me of being a liar, accusing me of the worst shit. Nothing I could have said was enough to make him go back on track, to where we were before I left.
15) She ****s the deal again, telling me she doesn't want to sponsor me anymore. I remind her that all she went through in the past years, all alone with the boy (some friend almost killed him in school, etc) is nothing compared to what she will go through if I will leave again. She knows I am right, she knows it but she keeps fighting me. I tell her I am her only way out of hell and she knows I am right. I tell her that this is her last chance to give the father back to her son. I remind her all the things she knows about the problems he will have in adult life if I will not stay with him for the next 5 years. I use words like "Don't keep doing to your son what your mom did to you (raise her fatherless) and so on. She knows what that will cause to him, she knows what it means to grow up without dad. She goes from crying and screaming accepting the fact she did a lot of shit, to go back fighting me doing all she can to put it on me, lying and accusing me of all the things she's the one to be accused, instead. It's amazing how her mind works. Again, it's all known... grown wounded children. All stuff that my son will also suffer of, if I don't find the way to take him away from this woman.
16) ANyway... at some point I meet with my sone again, we spend a day together and it's clear that he wanted to meet to try to convince me to go back with his mom. He's trained like a dog. It's amazing, I tell him that I did all I was supposed to do on my side, which is all I agreed with his mom, telling him that it is his mom that doesn't want to do her part, not sponsoring me to stay here, unless I live with her and be her husband. It's all written in my cell (SMS).
So rist I posted a question in another legal forum asking what I could have done, all by myself but since I realized that forum is populated by kids who suppose a lot of stuff instead of asking questions to understand the case, I decided to move to this forum to ask the question I opend this thread with, only because I wanted to show my son that his mom is using the "consequence of jail" if sponsoring me without me living with her, only as an excuse not to do it.
In reality, she always knew I was not going to live with her, and she was willing to sponsor me to give me back to our son. Now that she understood she won't have what she really wants (the family with me), then she ****ed the deal.
This is the story, but of course there is more and I would be glad to provide more info, if asked.
The reality is that it's true about the fraud for fake marriages, but this is not our case as our marriage is REAL and there is a child here to rejoin. The family is rejoined even if you don't live together every day. If she was going to respect the deal, nothing would have ever happened even if, worst case scenario, INS was going to find out we were living in separate houses. The worst case scenario is me being deported, while nothing could have happened to her because she could say "Hey... he came back and we were living together when at some point he decided to leave. I didn't report this to INS because of my son. I want him to have his father!"
Actually, there was another way to get away with the situation which is "Me leaving the house and file for divorce right after, showing all the recordings I have in my hands to show that the woman is impossible to live with. My lawyer told me that I could use all that material also for the child custody case.
The reason why I posted this question here is because I wanted my son to see that his mom was lying about jail consequesnces to her, to show him she's using a different case (marriages for green card purpose - as the movie with Gerard Depardieu) as an excuse not to do her part, as agreed since before I came back in his life.
Now I have to spend 200 dollars to meet the lawyer again, taking my son to him to make him hear what I he already told me, what I was hoping to have here from you, for free.
That would have made put my son in the position of opening his eyes and say "Hey mom, it's true, you don't risk anything, please sponsor daddy!" I don't know if this will ever happen but before I leave the country, ONCE FOR ALL, I will do this for him and then either I stay sponsored by the sicko, or good-bye my son, again.
I almost ended up in jail twice in 2002 and 2004 when I tried to protect my child from this woman (when she threatened his life and when I took him away from her not to have him sleep on the beach or on the street.) The first time in NYC (when she threatened his life) my lawyers and police (when they came to take my son to give him back to her, following the judge order) told me "Welcome to America!".
I don't need America. I don't need it at all. America needs me, an american child needs me to avoid becoming another sicko, one of those this country is packed with. YOU Americans, need me here, because there is an American soon-man who may turn into another sicko who will do who knows what to some of you, to some of your children, to your daughters..!
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No it's not. I spoke to several lawyers about it and they all told me the same thing. Sponsor for femily reunion will give you the green card in 3-4 months in NC without you leaving the country to adjust your status.Quote:
Also, if you are in the U.S., your present status (or lack thereof) and the circumstances of your entry could become relevant to any effort to remain in the U.S..
That is true, but at that point, who cares? Would you risk deportation for your child? I do!Quote:
If the U.S. discovers that you are committing immigration fraud, and have lied in your filings with the USCIS, you will be subject to removal proceedings and a permanent ban from entering the United States..
No she's not. Not at all. Maybe you want to reconsider the case, now that you have more info.Quote:
Your wife could be charged with a crime, and it is a crime that carries risk of both a felony record and potential incarceration.
If you have questions, I am all for it. If you jump to conclusions and judge based on suppositions, then I will ignore you.
Thank you for caring and for your time. -
01-19-2015, 07:52 PMMr. KnowitallRe: Child Reunion Under Wife Sponsor
The Neverending Story was published years ago, and your version makes for a weak sequel. There's truly something to be said for being concise and limiting yourself to the relevant information.
You didn't understand what I told you.Quote:
Quoting bambooit
In any event, if you want to put your wife in the position of ending your child custody battle by having you permanently barred from the U.S., it's your life.