Can a Parent of School-Age Kids Get Equal Custody Across State Lines
DOES THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN HAVE A CHANCE IN TAKING MY KIDS TO LIVE WITH HIM FOR 6 MONTHS AT A TIME?!
I moved six months ago from GA back to my home state of WA with my 2 kids. Their father and I were never married and he has never established his parental rights. I moved for support from family, save money for a house, pay off debt (that he helped cause), receive my MBA, and get a better job. It's a temporary move. Their relationship with their dad is important to me so we'll be back but since I can't depend on him I have to make sure I secure my future for the kids.
I told him of my plans on an on-going basis for a year. When he started threatening me, I stopped talking about it about a month prior to leaving. When the time came I made sure the kids saw him before we packed up and left.
We used to live together but after I had my daughter, we broke up and he moved out of the apartment. I've been the sole provider for both my son (8) and daughter (3) since they were born. Even though he lived CLOSE BY, he would only get them maybe once every two weeks after we broke up.
Now he wants the kids to live with him for 6 months out of the year which is ridiculous because it would disrupt their school year, friends, etc. I don't know if he can file for any custody and if he can what state? Would it be GA or WA? I haven't changed my license because the move is temporary and I plan to return to GA in a 1 1/2 to make sure the kids continue their relationship with their dad. He's been here to WA twice so far to visit.
Re: I Moved to Wa. Can My Kids' Father in Georgia Get Custody
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cezanne85
DOES THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN HAVE A CHANCE IN TAKING MY KIDS TO LIVE WITH HIM FOR 6 MONTHS AT A TIME?!
I moved six months ago from GA back to my home state of WA with my 2 kids. Their father and I were never married and he has never established his parental rights. I moved for support from family, save money for a house, pay off debt (that he helped cause), receive my MBA, and get a better job. It's a temporary move. Their relationship with their dad is important to me so we'll be back but since I can't depend on him I have to make sure I secure my future for the kids.
I told him of my plans on an on-going basis for a year. When he started threatening me, I stopped talking about it about a month prior to leaving. When the time came I made sure the kids saw him before we packed up and left.
We used to live together but after I had my daughter, we broke up and he moved out of the apartment. I've been the sole provider for both my son (8) and daughter (3) since they were born. Even though he lived CLOSE BY, he would only get them maybe once every two weeks after we broke up.
Now he wants the kids to live with him for 6 months out of the year which is ridiculous because it would disrupt their school year, friends, etc. I don't know if he can file for any custody and if he can what state? Would it be GA or WA? I haven't changed my license because the move is temporary and I plan to return to GA in a 1 1/2 to make sure the kids continue their relationship with their dad. He's been here to WA twice so far to visit.
If you truly have been in WA for a full six months then dad would have to file any case in WA, because WA would have jurisdiction. However, if dad were to file in GA, then you could not ignore his case. You would have to hire an attorney to get it dismissed on the grounds of GA not having jurisdiction.
Dad will NOT get a six month split...because, as you said, it would completely disrupt schooling.
Re: I Moved to Wa. Can My Kids' Father in Georgia Get Custody
You've already been in WA for 6 months - in my opinion he's full of brown stuff.
No court is going to award him with 6 months off/on. That's absurd, and he is making it all about himself, with little regard to what's best for the kids.
Re: Can a Parent of School-Age Kids Get Equal Custody Across State Lines
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cezanne85
Their father and I were never married and he has never established his parental rights.
If he's not even on the children's birth certificates, he's going to have to start with a paternity action before he can even qualify to seek custody.
Re: Can a Parent of School-Age Kids Get Equal Custody Across State Lines
You may want to use your position of strength (having the kids with you) to file to establish a custody and support order in WA and then domesticate the support order in GA where he lives. That would help avoid him filing in GA and having to be the one hiring counsel in a foreign jurisdiction and fight a battle on his terms. Talk to an attorney in your area.
Re: Can a Parent of School-Age Kids Get Equal Custody Across State Lines
Thanks. He is actually on the birth certificates, but has never legitimized them through Georgia. Now that we've hit the six month mark I suppose I can now go through WA courts. I've always tried my best to help him out...not sure how he'd attend court in WA...
Anyway, just talked to him today on the phone and he didn't like my proposal of them going with him for only summer and Christmas break. Now he's saying he could really "catch a case" for me. Says that he's going to come and get them in June and I won't get them back until 2016. Then says that "he no longer has children" and that it's my fault that they won't know him.
I've thought about getting a restraining order as this isn't the first time he's threatened me. Now that I'm in WA... I'm not sure if I can still get a restraining order. He's making it really hard to be fair and keep my word of going back to GA when he's threatening me. Of course saying that he will no longer speak to the kids breaks my heart as well - since he knows very well the reasons for my temporary move.
FYI: He's been arrested in the past for slashing all my tires and displaying aggressive behavior in front of our kids... Also has plenty of charges for possession of marijuana and doesn't make his money legally. He also used to be emotionally abusive to our son regarding him being too "soft" and called my son's friend gay. AHHHH!
I'm so lost on what to do! I've already moved away...
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Dogmatique,
I think he is lying as well, because at this point if he was serious he would have gone through the courts for a formal case. My thoughts are that because if he goes through the courts, some of the stuff on his end won't make sense - and he knows that - so he is trying to bully me into what he wants. I just don't know if he's going to try to take it into his own hands... He says he's going to come and take the kids and nobody is going to stop him.
It's so hard trying to be positive with my kids and keep them out of adult drama when he then tries to demand to speak to them and starts telling them that I won't let him see them... I had to hang up the phone. He always tries to include them in adult business when they are young and don't understand the full and true story. I've done my best trying to protect them from the truth but when he threatens to never see them again if I don't go along with what he wants, it makes it really hard to be the good guy in my kids' eyes.
Now I guess I can't let them see him at all since he's already saying he's going to take them at the first chance he gets, right? I have many many text messages, vm's, a police case from earlier, and some emails of his I printed out proving he is up to some shady business just in case I needed to use it in court.
Honestly, I don't have money for long court battles. I don't know if starting a case in WA will only fuel his fire...and then what will he do? No doubt he loves them, but he's never acted in the role of a caretaker.
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AdamK
You may want to use your position of strength (having the kids with you) to file to establish a custody and support order in WA and then domesticate the support order in GA where he lives. That would help avoid him filing in GA and having to be the one hiring counsel in a foreign jurisdiction and fight a battle on his terms. Talk to an attorney in your area.
Thanks AdamK,
I think this is the route to take. Question: Since the kids were born in Georgia but Washington laws regarding father's custody rights are different... would filing in Washington and then domesticating the order in Georgia keep him with the GA law (having to legitimize the kids through court before being able to go to court for custody or visitation)?
Re: Can a Parent of School-Age Kids Get Equal Custody Across State Lines
If you have lived in WA for at least six months then GA would not have jurisdiction and GA law would be irrelevant...COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.
If you file for custody in WA then the WA courts will decide custody or visitation. Since WA doesn't have legitimization laws that won't apply.
The advantage of doing so is that you will establish child support and if he were stupid enough to attempt to snatch the children you would have recourse.