Conflict Between Stepsiblings With Occasional Violence

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Quoting Mercy&Grace

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Parents need to keep in mind that the way a child views things that happen may not be the actual way they happened. For example, you really have no way of knowing that the present parent "just sits back and cries because the children do not get along." It is also common for children in situations like this to tell a parent things about the other parents home that aren't true. Perhaps your child doesn't like not being able to do as he wants at his Dad's because there are other children there. And at home with you everything he does what he wants. Our children also love to push our bottons. They act and we react. For example telling you that he is treated unfairly at his Dad's upsets you. And he hears how badly everyone else bahavior is, which takes the focus off of him and his negative behavior at his Dad's, at home with you, at school, etc. I'm not saying he is a bad child. Just that any child would rather a parent talk about the poor behavior of others that tell the child things they don't want to hear,

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I'm not sure what this means, but I can assure you that the rules are far stricter at our house as we have two children to look after. My ex-husband is checked out emotionally and there is a true lack of discipline there. I don't know if the stepmother punished her child for taking away my kid's candy. There will be no way of knowing that until an answer arrives from my ex-husband.

This pattern is evident as we unfortunately share 50/50 custody, so week to week we see the difference in the children, in schoolwork, in chores, in behaviors. For instance, my child with ADHD was not wearing underwear at my ex's house, repeatedly. This child frequently comes home from father's home without underwear, still, despite discussing it in OFW and letting Dad know this is not acceptable. Here we have a checklist to insure the exact same procedures are followed every day, which includes a check for appropriate undergarments.

This discussion has gotten rather of course. I wanted to know if I have legal recourse to keep my child safe and away from a situation which is non-provocative of bad behavior. The courts don't help. The GAL does not help. My ex-husband, of course, does not help. I am looking for an answer to keep my children away from their larger, older stepsiblings, who could inflict serious harm on them.

Thank you

It's a difficult position.

I have two stepkids who are considerably older than our son, all half-siblings. When they would visit they would constantly badger my son until he would freak out and cry and hit them. Then I'd get a call from their mom at the end of summer when they went home that our son was hitting and upsetting my stepkids. They told their mom what she wanted to hear, leaving out the crap they were doing (taking toys, hiding toys, calling names, etc.).

I was in an awful position. I was home alone all day with three kids, two who were pre-teens and resented my very existence and a toddler. It took ages to work out.

I finally reached the point where I told them they weren't allowed in my son's room. Period. And they weren't allowed to be in the same room of the house my son was in unless an adult was present. There were plenty of days I felt like breaking down and crying.

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Quoting llworking

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I am pretty certain that you would be equally harsh with the older child who took the candy away from the younger child. Also, the children in your household have no reason to be miserable, therefore your point of view regarding the children in your household is completely valid. However, it may not be valid for other children in other households.

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Oh, believe me, with 6 girls - 3 of whom are teenagers - and 1 boy all of whom have varying levels of other-parent abandonment, and who just started into this blended family thing in new state across the country from their "homes"... there are lots of things to blame misery on. I still consider it largely their responsibility to create happiness. Or at least contentment.

There is no legal way you can keep your son away from his step siblings because they provoke bad behavior.