Married Man Has Baby Outside of Marriage

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama. I have been married for roughly five years. I had an affair. I did the right thing and told my wife, though I knew it was wrong to ever do that to any partner. The other woman knew I was married and still agreed. We ended up having a little boy together about two months ago. I am on the birth certificate, as the father. My wife and I are wanting to get full custody of the young man. What advice and rights do my wife and I have, to get custody or any at all?

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Quoting Onamisn

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The other woman knew I was married and still agreed. We ended up having a little boy together about two months ago. My wife and I are wanting to get full custody of the young man. What advice and rights do my wife and I have, to get custody? Or any at all?

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Getting full custody isn't going to happen short of mom agreeing to it absent some circumstance making her an unfit parent.

You would want to speak to a local attorney about this matter.

ETA: Your wife will have zero rights in any of this as she is and will remain a legal stranger to the child.

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Quoting Onamisn

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama. I have been married for roughly five years. I had an affair. I did the right thing and told my wife, though I knew it was wrong to ever do that to any partner. The other woman knew I was married and still agreed. We ended up having a little boy together about two months ago. My wife and I are wanting to get full custody of the young man. What advice and rights do my wife and I have, to get custody or any at all?

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If the woman is not married you could probably get visitation, maybe shared custody.

Count on paying child support.

Ought to make your wife real happy to see her household money going to support another woman's child.

If she hasn't filed for divorce yet, let that fester for a while.

Freeman,

i dudnt see anywhere where the mother is married. If not. There is no presumptive father.


Too the op;

your wife has no rights in this matter. It is between you and the mother. Unless/until paternity is legally established you have no rights at all.

If paternity is legally established you will have the right to seek custody or visitation. The mother can seek the same although at this age it's generally a given she will retain custody.

I am on the birth certificate, as the father, nothing more then that. The other woman is not married. The reason I am looking into this because I recently found out that she is a convicted felon, for possession of a control substance. She has a history of codine addiction and abuse.

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Quoting jk

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Freeman,

i dudnt see anywhere where the mother is married. If not. There is no presumptive father.

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I am aware of this and have edited accordingly. I misread part of the post.

At most they might test her. As far as the court is concerned you found her to be excellent genetic material to procreate with, so they should not second guess your judgment unless she has had other children removed.

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Quoting Onamisn

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I am on the birth certificate, as the father, nothing more then that. The other woman is not married. The reason I am looking into this because I recently found out that she is a convicted felon, for possession of a control substance. She has a history of codine addiction and abuse.

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Quoting Onamisn

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I am on the birth certificate, as the father, nothing more then that. The other woman is not married. The reason I am looking into this because I recently found out that she is a convicted felon, for possession of a control substance. She has a history of codine addiction and abuse.

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Jeez o Pete.


So plan on paying child support if she seeks it, at least for the first year. After that you can try to wrest custody from the mother but you will be fighting an uphill battle.

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Quoting Onamisn

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama. I have been married for roughly five years. I had an affair. I did the right thing and told my wife, though I knew it was wrong to ever do that to any partner. The other woman knew I was married and still agreed. We ended up having a little boy together about two months ago. I am on the birth certificate, as the father. My wife and I are wanting to get full custody of the young man. What advice and rights do my wife and I have, to get custody or any at all?

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LMAOOOOOO...... is mom GIVING YOU custody of your (joint) child, is Child Protective Services giving YOU custody of your (joint) child or do you think for some strange reason someone is just going to give you this child?

Good luck with all your high hopes, because they're not likely to go the way you want them.

Link to Alabama Code on Child Custody
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al...975/128972.htm

Link to Alabama Administrative Court site on Child Support:
http://www.alacourt.gov/ChildSupportInfo.aspx

DHR website on Child Support:
http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=288

Schedule of Basic Child Support:
http://www.alacourt.gov/ChildSupportObligations.aspx

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Quoting Onamisn

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama. I have been married for roughly five years. I had an affair. I did the right thing and told my wife, though I knew it was wrong to ever do that to any partner. The other woman knew I was married and still agreed. We ended up having a little boy together about two months ago. I am on the birth certificate, as the father. My wife and I are wanting to get full custody of the young man. What advice and rights do my wife and I have, to get custody or any at all?

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Seriously dad, you have virtually no chance at all of gaining primary custody of the child, let alone full custody. The very best you can hope for is some kind of shared custody, and even 50/50 is highly unlikely for an infant.

Ok, mom has a past...but her past will not be considered, only her present. You won't even get a judge to drug test her unless you have some hard evidence that she is currently using. If she had been using during the pregnancy, that would have been found out at the hospital and CPS would have been involved from day one. Therefore, you really have nothing.

If mom messes up going forward, in a serious enough way that hard evidence becomes available, then you might end up with enough ammo to do something, but right now, you do not have it. Plan your life paying child support, because that is what is going to happen. For the sake of your child, plan on being a good co-parent as well, because that is what is going to make your child's life the best. Your wife may have a problem dealing with that, so make sure that you discuss the reality of things with her carefully...because honestly, your wife can do more damage to your situation and legal case than you could possibly imagine. Do not allow your wife to imagine a scenario where you and she can raise the child and forget that mom exists, because that is likely to be what your wife is subconsciously hoping right now. When reality kicks in, things could be quite bad.

Sounds like the OP didn't have a problem with the affair until the woman got pregnant.

It never fails to astound me how many people have affairs and then compound the mess and selfishness by being too stupid or lazy to use birth control.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope for your sake you have a very good job. You didn't mention if you and your wife have children together. Even if you don't, tha doesn't mean you won't. Like I said, I hope you have a very good job.

By the way, if at some point CPS were to remove the child from the mother's care, that doesn't mean that the state will give you custody.

It is so easy for a man to avoid these complications with a few snips. The trick is to gauge the woman you are having sex with to determine whether letting her know is to your advantage or not.

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Quoting Blossom

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Sounds like the OP didn't have a problem with the affair until the woman got pregnant.

It never fails to astound me how many people have affairs and then compound the mess and selfishness by being too stupid or lazy to use birth control.

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