Married Man Has Baby Outside of Marriage

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Quoting Onamisn

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Alabama. I have been married for roughly five years. I had an affair. I did the right thing and told my wife, though I knew it was wrong to ever do that to any partner. The other woman knew I was married and still agreed. We ended up having a little boy together about two months ago. I am on the birth certificate, as the father. My wife and I are wanting to get full custody of the young man. What advice and rights do my wife and I have, to get custody or any at all?

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Seriously dad, you have virtually no chance at all of gaining primary custody of the child, let alone full custody. The very best you can hope for is some kind of shared custody, and even 50/50 is highly unlikely for an infant.

Ok, mom has a past...but her past will not be considered, only her present. You won't even get a judge to drug test her unless you have some hard evidence that she is currently using. If she had been using during the pregnancy, that would have been found out at the hospital and CPS would have been involved from day one. Therefore, you really have nothing.

If mom messes up going forward, in a serious enough way that hard evidence becomes available, then you might end up with enough ammo to do something, but right now, you do not have it. Plan your life paying child support, because that is what is going to happen. For the sake of your child, plan on being a good co-parent as well, because that is what is going to make your child's life the best. Your wife may have a problem dealing with that, so make sure that you discuss the reality of things with her carefully...because honestly, your wife can do more damage to your situation and legal case than you could possibly imagine. Do not allow your wife to imagine a scenario where you and she can raise the child and forget that mom exists, because that is likely to be what your wife is subconsciously hoping right now. When reality kicks in, things could be quite bad.

Sounds like the OP didn't have a problem with the affair until the woman got pregnant.

It never fails to astound me how many people have affairs and then compound the mess and selfishness by being too stupid or lazy to use birth control.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope for your sake you have a very good job. You didn't mention if you and your wife have children together. Even if you don't, tha doesn't mean you won't. Like I said, I hope you have a very good job.

By the way, if at some point CPS were to remove the child from the mother's care, that doesn't mean that the state will give you custody.

It is so easy for a man to avoid these complications with a few snips. The trick is to gauge the woman you are having sex with to determine whether letting her know is to your advantage or not.

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Quoting Blossom

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Sounds like the OP didn't have a problem with the affair until the woman got pregnant.

It never fails to astound me how many people have affairs and then compound the mess and selfishness by being too stupid or lazy to use birth control.

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