Just Found Out About Paternity

About 6 years ago I was involved a short relationship with (unknown at the time a minor her 16 me 22).
Once I found out, I terminated the relationship immediately.
There was a restraining order placed on here once she found out she’s expecting “my child”.
She visited me along with her friends and demanded money and I refused.
We later spoke on the phone and I offered money for the abortion and of course she took it.
During the court hearing for the restraining order, she acknowledged she had an abortion.

That was it.......yeah right.........5 years later I get a letter in the mail for a court order Paternity which turns out...I’m the father.
I’ve had no communication with either of ‘em.

I’m married now (5 years going on 6) no kids, but a lot of bills to pay (mortgage, cars, insurances, C.C.’s, etc.)

What are my options here in florida! I am visiting a lawyer later on this week.
Any help greatly appreciated...

BTW: she doesn’t have custody of the child; her mom does who is the one filing for child support

Q: What are my options here in florida!

A: Pay child support, same as in the other 49 and territories.

Actually, you do have more options.
Depending on how much you want to get to know your child.
First remember, this isn't the kids fault. Her mother may have been a lying, cheating, bloodsucking wench, but the child deserves love, affection, and attention.
Now, on to what you can legally do.
You have every right to see that child, on a regular basis, and unless you are a criminal, you will get unsupervised visits.
If you bond with the child, a great relationship follows, you can very well file a motion for full legal custody.
There's a reason the child is not with her Mother. ( substance abuse, mental problems etc...)
That will weigh heavily in your favor.
In the meantime, you will need to pay child support. However, you should try to appeal to the court, to deduct traveling costs, from the child support.
It's not YOUR fault the child lives so far away from you ( if she does, we dont know)
If you can get a transcript of the Mom saying in court, that she did have an abortion, that will help your case when it comes to CS, and possibly going for sole custody. Remember, the courts will do what's in the best interests of the child, as far as custody and visitation.
Document every visit, every phone call, every communication you have with the child, from here on in.
Try and get the address or phone # of the grandparent. Let them know how thrilled you are, to have a baby girl, and you will be visiting them on a regular basis. And if all goes well, you hope you can be a full time father to her.
That may just be enough to scare them into dropping the case. But be ready for them to call your bluff. No grandparent wants to lose their grandchild.
And if you are an upstanding young man, with no criminal history, that could very well happen.
Start saving your pennies for a lawyer. Don't do this alone. Spending $3,000 on a lawyer could save you 5 times that amount in child support over a few years.

Couple of questions...

I make about 40K a year before taxes and medical insurance (a big portion is commission & just medical insurance is 480.00 a month.)
I know I will have to put the child under my medical insurance which will increase my monthly cost.
Will this offset what I would have to pay for CS?

Based on this year earning about 40K, how much would I have to pay for CS.
I know it’s a hard question to answer with knowing my full finance and the mothers’

Thanks

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I know it’s a hard question to answer with knowing my full finance and the mothers’

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You're exactly right. However, you may be able to locate a child support calculator, which may help you.

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Quoting moburkes

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You're exactly right. However, you may be able to locate a child support calculator, which may help you.

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Thanks, but will putting the child under on med. ins....would that offset the amount on the cs

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Quoting um_fan

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Thanks, but will putting the child under on med. ins....would that offset the amount on the cs

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Maybe a portion, but never the full amount. If this child was living with you, and you provided medical insurance, does that mean that they don't need to eat, or be clothed???:confused:

"First remember, this isn't the kids fault. Her mother may have been a lying, cheating, bloodsucking wench, but the child deserves love, affection, and attention."

I totally disagree.

If the mother is a lying, bloodsucking wench that never TOLD the father & lied in court, then WHAT KIND of nasty child did she raise?

Do you want that messed up kid interacting with your own current children?

My husband was just served summons for child support from some wacko 17 years later. When she was pregnant she told him HE WAS NOT the father and did not put his name as father on birth certificate, it was blank. The father could have been 2 or 4 men. She moved out of state with another man (sucker) and that was the last he heard from her.

NOW 17 YEARS LATER SHE WANTS CHILD SUPPORT FOR A CHILD SHE ORIGINALLY SAID WAS NOT HIS CHILD.

Oh, but it gets even better.

HERE'S THE REAL KICKER: She gave the child MY HUSBAND'S FIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME. She f#*+ing gave the child my husband's name!!!!! PSYCHO NUT JOB.

She was never married to him, she didn't list him on the birth certificate, but she gave him my husband's name!

Now of course, he is being forced to take a paternity test. Since the child is 17 years old, we plan to do as much as we can to prolong the court proceedings with our lawyer until the child is 18 and NOT OUR PROBLEM!

Meanwhile, I do not want this woman or her son anywhere near my kids. I don't care if that is cruel. I don't really care. Guess what? Life isn't FAIR.

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Quoting urbantwang

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"First remember, this isn't the kids fault. Her mother may have been a lying, cheating, bloodsucking wench, but the child deserves love, affection, and attention."

I totally disagree.

If the mother is a lying, bloodsucking wench that never TOLD the father & lied in court, then WHAT KIND of nasty child did she raise?

Do you want that messed up kid interacting with your own current children?

My husband was just served summons for child support from some wacko 17 years later. When she was pregnant she told him HE WAS NOT the father and did not put his name as father on birth certificate, it was blank. The father could have been 2 or 4 men. She moved out of state with another man (sucker) and that was the last he heard from her.

NOW 17 YEARS LATER SHE WANTS CHILD SUPPORT FOR A CHILD SHE ORIGINALLY SAID WAS NOT HIS CHILD.

Oh, but it gets even better.

HERE'S THE REAL KICKER: She gave the child MY HUSBAND'S FIRST, MIDDLE & LAST NAME. She f#*+ing gave the child my husband's name!!!!! PSYCHO NUT JOB.

She was never married to him, she didn't list him on the birth certificate, but she gave him my husband's name!

Now of course, he is being forced to take a paternity test. Since the child is 17 years old, we plan to do as much as we can to prolong the court proceedings with our lawyer until the child is 18 and NOT OUR PROBLEM!

Meanwhile, I do not want this woman or her son anywhere near my kids. I don't care if that is cruel. I don't really care. Guess what? Life isn't FAIR.

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Apparently, you are ignoring the fact that your husband had sex with her, and he could be the father. You don't want your husband to be responsible for the child that he created. You don't want your children to get to know their half brother. Who's the nut job?

Call me a Nut Job.

The answer is I do not want that kid or that woman anywhere near my children.

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention, I called a lawyer to file for divorce.

He is the moron who slept with her 17 years ago. I'm the moron that married him 3 years ago.

I've handled enough of his baggage so I'm not dealing with some kid who shows up 17 years later. Yeah, I'm bitter.