Father is Asking for the Child's Surname to be Changed to His

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Tennessee


i have a 4 year old, whose father has not been in nor tried to be apart of his life. recently i took him for child support. so now he is wanting to try and change the childs last name to his be added to his birth certificate and i dont know what else. but i have evidence that he is violent like a video where his knuckles are bleeding from punching a wall and there is a gun laying in his passenger seat next to him, i worry about my sons safety if he was to get him alone. i need advice on what i can do.

Had you asked prior to filing for child support, based on everything you posted I would have said to leave the situation alone. Even men who don't have any interest in the babies they help make tend to want visitation.

Does your son know his father? When did he last see him? Also, does dad have a steady job?

How old is this video?

If Dad seeks visitation, he will get it. He'll probably get joint legal custody. He might even get the last name; that depends on the judge most of the time.
http://www.laet.org/getattachment/ad...ody_Guide.aspx

no he doesn't know his father he hasn't seen him in like 2 years and it was only once. and the video is recent. and i know from past experience that he is a violent person to himself as others. he doesn't want anything to do with him. it's only to hurt me. and he had the chance to be in his life plenty but chose not to.

Prepare for him to get visitation. It will probably be supervised at first, then eventually he will get a standard visitation schedule. You unwittingly opened up a big can of worms by seeking support. And while I fully believe both parents have a legal AND a moral duty to support their kids, sometimes you're better off leaving things be. If he's a flake, you'll end up with an unenforceable order and a huge headache overall.

Some people just suck.

my main thing is doing what's best for my child if i felt like he wanted to be in his life it'd be different. and if i wasn't worried about my sons safety and the people he would be around. and i know he'll get visitation but is there anyway i can keep his last name the same?

How does an alteration of his last name change anything in regards to the child's safety?

The reality you're facing here is that you chose the man who contributed half of your child's DNA - that's typically going to result in the child getting part of dad's name if dad wants to push the issue before the court. Unless dad is a famous serial killer, has an infamous last name that's likely to stigmatize the child for life within your community, or other similar circumstances, the court has no reason to deny the request of a father to have their name given to their child (typically not replacing, but being an addition via a hyphen).

i never said changing his name had anything to do with his safety. but that would affect my son. and when he never wanted anything to do with him before i dont see why now he expects to and the fact hed want to change his name he has had it for 4 years he has started school with it. i think of all else his name should be left alone. he had his chance to be at the hospital to have that input and he didn't. all he is out to do is to hurt me. has nothing to do with wanting to be there for my son.

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he has also been arrested for domestic violence.

Your child is four. A year from now he'll never remember that his name was ever anything else.

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i never said changing his name had anything to do with his safety. but that would affect my son. and when he never wanted anything to do with him before i dont see why now he expects to and the fact hed want to change his name he has had it for 4 years he has started school with it. i think of all else his name should be left alone. he had his chance to be at the hospital to have that input and he didn't. all he is out to do is to hurt me. has nothing to do with wanting to be there for my son.

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he has also been arrested for domestic violence.

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This has nothing to do with what "affects" your son, it has to do with you and your feelings toward your ex.

If you don't want to change your son's name then don't. You don't have to until a judge orders you to. Your son will never know the difference.

"He is wanting to try" doesn't mean squat until he serves you with court papers. Until then, ignore him.