Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
Hello,
I am considering filing for divorce, which will lead to a custody case because we cannot agree on custody. Our child is 2 years old. My question concerns "mental health". I am 28 years old and have been married to my husband for 5 years. At 17 years old (before we knew each other) I made a suicide attempt, which he knows about. Afterwards, I was diagnosed with "anxiety disorder." I have not needed any further treatment until two years ago, when life became stressful and I sought medical help. I see a doctor and take medication. I have never been violent, never hurt anyone else, never committed any crimes, etc.
However, when we fight, my husband always brings up the fact that 11 years ago I attempted suicide. He says that I am mentally ill. I am sure he will bring his up in court trying to state that I am unfit to have custody of our child for that reason.
Will that be a good enough reason not to give me custody?
Thanks.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
I'm not a lawyer and I'm not a shrink but I've learned enough about divorce to know that the parties to a divorce will use anything an everything to get over on the other party.
I don't think that you are mentally unfit.
I do think that your husband is using tactics designed to mess with your head, and scare you into capitulating.
I suggest you stop talking to him, get yourself a lawyer and go ahead and file for divorce.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
Courts generally consider that incidents that happened before the marriage, when the spouse knows about them, were already contemplated by the spouse PRIOR to getting married. In other words, he was obviously willing to not only marry you but have children with you AFTER the suicide attempt. His chance to be worried about your ability to parent was back THEN, and he can't point the finger at something being so terribly wrong with you when HE is the one who CHOSE you and had children with you. So long as there have been no other behaviors in the RECENT past that might give the court pause, most judges aren't going to care about something that happened 11 years ago.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
Get yourself in therapy with a reputable psychologist now. You will need the psychologist to testify in the child custody portion of your divorce. Your husband WILL use your past against you. You need a psychologist to ease a judge's mind about your mental state and if the child is safe with you. DO NOT seek out some Medicaid "talk" therapist. You need a highly reputable doctor. Look up your local mental facility and see who's on the board and find out if they take private clients. If you find someone, be honest about your past and your problems now. You don't have to say "I need you in court", that comes later. Also keep a journal of how much time your child is in your care only, your husband's and together. If you're care for your child for 9 hours a day alone and the husband has no concerns now, why should he only have concerns in front of a judge? Yes, it's a game and whoever puts on the best show wins. Don't give your husband any new ammunition to use against you. Are you a Mentally Unfit" Parent? Only a trained psychologist can answer that.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
She already said she's in therapy and on medication. The onus is on dad to prove she's "unfit."
He married her knowing she had a problem in the past. She should consult with a family law attorney asap.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
As she has an anxiety order it can certainly affect custody. It could potentially cause neglect or abuse. She needs a divorce lawyer.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
However, she is not an unfit parent until a judge says she is.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
Or a doctor. Which is why I suggest she definitely needs a lawyer.
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However, she is not an unfit parent until a judge says she is.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
Thanks a lot for your suggestions.
Re: Am I a "Mentally Unfit" Parent
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As she has an anxiety order it can certainly affect custody. It could potentially cause neglect or abuse. She needs a divorce lawyer.
You don't know much about anxiety orders do you? I could possibly see a slim chance of one causing neglect, but abuse?