Getting Mid-Week, Overnight Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

I am a father of 2 adorable girls, and I live in the State of California.
I am going through a divorce and will have a hearing very soon. I am, like many other fathers and mothers, exhausted, emotionally drained, sad, but have never lost love, confidence, or desire to be in my daughters' lives.

I filed to divorce my wife.
This is what I want:
I drop off my 2 children at their school at 8:30AM on both Mondays and Tuesdays. I would be picking up the girls from their mother's home on Monday and Tuesday evening at 7PM. They would have dinner with me and sleep at my house on those 2 nights.
I would also have them every other weekend.

Looking at it, their mother and I would essentially be sharing the only 2 days of the week I have the girls, which is fine by me. This limits the time the girls would spend in day care whilst maximizing time spent with both their parents.
Wife wants me to see children only every other weekend. This would devastate me. I have spent a whole year volunteering at their kindergarten and I do many activities with them. I have never sought to limit their time with their mother, but their mother in my opinion seems to want to do just that.

I am so worried as I have no idea what happens in court....I have never been married before. Under what circumstances would a judge only allow me to see the children every other weekend?

I have been to attorneys and I am practically broke. I am not looking for anything except to have the children from 7PM until morning on Mondays and Tuesdays + every other weekend. What would a judge say? I don't drink, do drugs, and have been active in my children's lives.

If you and your spouse agree to that schedule, odds are the court will go along with your agreement.

If not, as your lawyers have almost certainly explained to you, it's highly unlikely that a court would order that schedule.

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Quoting GreilasDad

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

I am a father of 2 adorable girls, and I live in the State of California.
I am going through a divorce and will have a hearing very soon. I am, like many other fathers and mothers, exhausted, emotionally drained, sad, but have never lost love, confidence, or desire to be in my daughters' lives.

I filed to divorce my wife.
This is what I want:
I drop off my 2 children at their school at 8:30AM on both Mondays and Tuesdays. I would be picking up the girls from their mother's home on Monday and Tuesday evening at 7PM. They would have dinner with me and sleep at my house on those 2 nights.
I would also have them every other weekend.

Looking at it, their mother and I would essentially be sharing the only 2 days of the week I have the girls, which is fine by me. This limits the time the girls would spend in day care whilst maximizing time spent with both their parents.
Wife wants me to see children only every other weekend. This would devastate me. I have spent a whole year volunteering at their kindergarten and I do many activities with them. I have never sought to limit their time with their mother, but their mother in my opinion seems to want to do just that.

I am so worried as I have no idea what happens in court....I have never been married before. Under what circumstances would a judge only allow me to see the children every other weekend?

I have been to attorneys and I am practically broke. I am not looking for anything except to have the children from 7PM until morning on Mondays and Tuesdays + every other weekend. What would a judge say? I don't drink, do drugs, and have been active in my children's lives.

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7:00 is a pretty late pickup time for kindergarteners. Your children are going to be going to bed by about 8:30 on a school night so you would only have 1 1/2 hours of awake time with them and that would include the travel time between mom's house and yours...and would cause your children to have an awful lot of transitions on each of those days.

Also, odds are that mom would serve dinner earlier than 7:00 PM, so what do you propose that mom do?...not allow the children to eat the dinner that she has prepared?

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Quoting llworking

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7:00 is a pretty late pickup time for kindergarteners. Your children are going to be going to bed by about 8:30 on a school night so you would only have 1 1/2 hours of awake time with them and that would include the travel time between mom's house and yours...and would cause your children to have an awful lot of transitions on each of those days.

Also, odds are that mom would serve dinner earlier than 7:00 PM, so what do you propose that mom do?...not allow the children to eat the dinner that she has prepared?

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You bring up some very good points, and I appreciate it.
I am moving to a house that is in the same neighborhood. My house will be walking distance to that of the current house we all live in. I am moving to this house because I want to make it a smooth transition for the children.
And, absolutely, if their mother has prepared dinner, I would definitely not be opposed to them eating with her at her house. I agree with 7PM being quite late.

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Given the circumstances, I am hoping that my wife and her team agrees to this, if not, I am hoping the courts could. I am not very optimistic. At least, I am less optimistic than my attorney.

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Quoting GreilasDad

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You bring up some very good points, and I appreciate it.
I am moving to a house that is in the same neighborhood. My house will be walking distance to that of the current house we all live in. I am moving to this house because I want to make it a smooth transition for the children.
And, absolutely, if their mother has prepared dinner, I would definitely not be opposed to them eating with her at her house. I agree with 7PM being quite late.

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Given the circumstances, I am hoping that my wife and her team agrees to this, if not, I am hoping the courts could. I am not very optimistic. At least, I am less optimistic than my attorney.

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To be honest...I am not super optimistic on this one. If I were mom I probably wouldn't agree (because of the 7:00 PM pickup time) and a judge might have the same concerns I have.

Would a court rather have the child in day care or with a parent?
I really want to see the children as much as possible, but would you say at this point that I would be getting to see the children only 4 days a month?

Additionally, do judges grant every weekend to a parent or?

On my end, I want our children to see both parents as much as possible. Although this is my opinion, 4 days a month sounds so little.

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Quoting GreilasDad

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Would a court rather have the child in day care or with a parent?
I really want to see the children as much as possible, but would you say at this point that I would be getting to see the children only 4 days a month?

Additionally, do judges grant every weekend to a parent or?

On my end, I want our children to see both parents as much as possible. Although this is my opinion, 4 days a month sounds so little.

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You won't get every weekend...that just doesn't happen unless the parents agree to it. When parents do agree it always ends up being a problem within a fairly short amount of time.

Why is daycare an issue? If mom is available for the children after school then mom would get to care for the children, they wouldn't be in daycare until 7:00PM.

I agree that only getting to see them 4 days a month isn't good, but I don't have any good suggestions for how to get around that. What are your actual work hours/days?

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Quoting llworking

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You won't get every weekend...that just doesn't happen unless the parents agree to it. When parents do agree it always ends up being a problem within a fairly short amount of time.

Why is daycare an issue? If mom is available for the children after school then mom would get to care for the children, they wouldn't be in daycare until 7:00PM.

I agree that only getting to see them 4 days a month isn't good, but I don't have any good suggestions for how to get around that. What are your actual work hours/days?

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Hi llworking,
Thank you for your insight.
I thought my proposition would allow children to see both parents without too drastic of a change.
My working hours are 8AM - 5PM, but my employers are flexible in that I can come in at say, 9:00AM but then I have to stay until 6PM.
My wife is refusing this on the grounds that she says that she believes I will be fired and that she doesn't want to pay for any alimony/spousal support to me, which I don't want.

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At court, her team and her are trying to prepare their case based on "he is not a fit father", and their declaration is mainly based on bashing me.
My declaration stated that the children are used to seeing both parents and that I wish to keep it that way, with nothing against the other parent. I have never used the children as ammunition against the other parent and I will never do that.
I believe this is not good for the children, for me, and in the long run for her.

This is depressing. I did care for the children and was a stay at home father until the younger child turned 4 when she was able to go to a pre-school. From that point, I resume to going to work full time. Now, I am being told that because I work full time, I am not in the capacity to care for the children, therefore I should only see them 4 days a month.

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Quoting GreilasDad

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Hi llworking,
Thank you for your insight.
I thought my proposition would allow children to see both parents without too drastic of a change.
My working hours are 8AM - 5PM, but my employers are flexible in that I can come in at say, 9:00AM but then I have to stay until 6PM.
My wife is refusing this on the grounds that she says that she believes I will be fired and that she doesn't want to pay for any alimony/spousal support to me, which I don't want.

- - - Updated - - -

At court, her team and her are trying to prepare their case based on "he is not a fit father", and their declaration is mainly based on bashing me.
My declaration stated that the children are used to seeing both parents and that I wish to keep it that way, with nothing against the other parent. I have never used the children as ammunition against the other parent and I will never do that.
I believe this is not good for the children, for me, and in the long run for her.

This is depressing. I did care for the children and was a stay at home father until the younger child turned 4 when she was able to go to a pre-school. From that point, I resume to going to work full time. Now, I am being told that because I work full time, I am not in the capacity to care for the children, therefore I should only see them 4 days a month.

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If you can work from 8-5 then why not work from 8-5 on the days when you would have your children mid-week? Then you would have them for 3 hours or so of awake time in the evenings. That would change the entire situation. In that scenario a judge would give you a minimum of one weekday a week with the children, and you might possibly get two even if mom doesn't agree. You might not get overnights, but you would at least get those 3 hours.

You can work out how to get the children to school in the morning.

How old are the girls?