Parent-Initiated Emancipation

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: Washington
Our 17 year old daughter has had issues with running, drug and alcohol abuse, and truancy over the past 3 years. She's been in the youth-at-risk program for two years and failed out of it. She failed out of drug court as well. She should be a junior, but due to her truancy she is still in freshman class level. The high school states they cannot file truancy charge because per state law "she's not at risk for not graduating..." which makes absolutely no sense. When she's on the run she's gone between 4-14 days. The last time she returned home she brought lice with her and infected the entire house. Each time she takes off she ends up with a group of trashy people and tries to OD on pills and ends in the ER because her friends call the ambulance. Right now my wife and I are already some $3k+ in debt just from three trips to the ER because of her behavior. The hospital social worker told us to go through with emancipation, but the state law only shows how a child files, not the parent. How do we emancipate her? Can we emancipate her for her behavior and risk to the household? I know due to her history of behavior and truancy(she's been to Juvenile detention well over 24 times in the past couple years averaging between 20-30 days a piece).

The law does not emancipate out of control minors so they can wreak havoc on the public with no restrictions.

There is no way your child is going to be emancipated. The social worker had no business giving this sort of suggestion, because they apparantly have ZERO comprehension of what emancipation means and the factors considered. The minute the words "running", "drugs", and "alcohol" came along in the first sentence, we really don't need to read any further. Emancipation is a process whereby minors with EXTRAORDINARY levels of responsiblity may be granted some priviliges of adulthood. That means they'remaking excellent grades, have no behavioral issues, haven't been in trouble with the law, etc. If you're asking if any judge is going to emancipate a child because the parents are tired of dealing with their minor's bad behavior or expenses associated with that behavior, the answer is: it won't happen. The child is obviously NOT able to care for herself, which is the whole KEY behind emancipation. Bottom line being that the courts aren't just going to allow you to wash your hands of her while she's a minor. Your only real options here are to continue to explore methods of dealing with her or finding something like an in-patient or juvenile boot camp or other program that may be able to intervene. Sadly, decent intervention programs aren't right up the street from most people, and, when they are, they can be expensive. Or, you can wait it out until she does something bad enough or often enough for a court to sentence her to a juvenile detention facility for a longer term. (And long enough for her to reach 18, at which you're no longer responsible for her).

Keep reaching out to find her the help she obviously needs. That includes getting help for the whole family. Stand by for Dogmatique. She's in WA and may know of resources specific to your family's needs.

Quote:

---

Quoting Harleydad

---

Can we emancipate her for her behavior and risk to the household?

---

No.

But you can consider a Secure Crisis Residential Center.

Read the following article.

http://www.wsipp.wa.gov/ReportFile/777

The other alternative is, next time she runs away, let her. If she calls you from a hospital, ignore her.

She needs to be the one to decide to straighten up. No one can do it for her.

Yes, it's heartbreaking.

But sometimes you just have to let go and let them screw up their own lives and let them pay the price for it.

Just to reiterate, WA absolutely and with no exceptions will deny an emancipation petition in these circumstances.

That doesn't mean there are no options - there are. And please try not to feel bad or guilty; sometimes, no matter how well you raise them, kids just make the wrong choices regardless. So don't feel bad about asking for help.

Could you tell us which county please?

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Quoting adjusterjack

---

No.

But you can consider a Secure Crisis Residential Center.

Read the following article.

http://www.wsipp.wa.gov/ReportFile/777

The other alternative is, next time she runs away, let her. If she calls you from a hospital, ignore her.

She needs to be the one to decide to straighten up. No one can do it for her.

Yes, it's heartbreaking.

But sometimes you just have to let go and let them screw up their own lives and let them pay the price for it.

---

Ignoring her if she's in the hospital is, in my opinion, about the worst suggestion for these parents. Yes, kids can turn into a tornado of chaos...but ignoring them when they actually need your help is going to accomplish one thing and one thing only:

It will reinforce her belief that nobody cares and not even her parents give a crap about her.

I understand why you said it, and if we were talking about a 20 year old with failure-to-launch syndrome I'd be more inclined to agree with you.

Thanks. We didn't know what else to do. We don't have a resources or financial ability to do much more. We're out of local help that we were aware of to manage this situation. She's been through two residential treatment centers and has this messed up co-dependent relationship with this guy. The town has a sizable group of kids who hang out with middle aged guys (and a few gals) who think it's okay to drink and provide for minors. It's been going on 4 years and we're exhausted. Providing care for someone is one thing. Running after kids with pure disregard for basic rules is another.

- - - Updated - - -

The past four years we've been chasing her around town, even once was at a hide-away house run by a 45 year old female drug dealer who was on the sting list of local L.E., trips to the hospital to sit with her for hours on end. I've driven her to school daily only for her to walk out the door after the bell and disappear for a week or two. Tried to arrange at-home schooling so she can get her GED at a minimum, but she managed ONE DAY before taking off again and that was a week ago. Provided the opportunity for counseling appointments(which she runs before the appointment time). You did read where she failed out of ARY program and the drug program? We've bent over backwards for her and to no avail she doesn't want to be here. She's even drummed up a story about the Russian mob coming to get after one of the 30+ y/o guys in their group because he owes money. Our insurance won't cover more residential care, she's not under court order to stay at home and the school system won't file truancy charges because the state guidance states she doesn't qualify for truancy court although she's missed almost two months of school this year. So who's going to toss out more ideas on the fact she doesn't want to adhere to house rules and the state laws are jacked.

We're in Island Co.

You're in a hellish situation.

Can you give a wee bit of an idea on which county you're in? I've literally done the same thing just this weekend for a friend (in WA - where we all life). Maybe we can find something to consider.

Island Co

Right. If you haven't read this yet, it's a decent place to start. http://www.familyfirstaid.org/about-us/

Keep checking back though. Naturally you're in one of the counties which don't have that much to begin with but I'd like to try and find something for you.

I read through the family first aid link and with a combined income less than the monthly "tuition" there is no way we would qualify for an educational loan to cover a $3k/month cost or even afford the lowered tuition and being in a small town noone is going to foot the bill especially for a "boot camp" environment" from this liberal state. she's been to juvie several dozen times, it's a vacation for her. The idea of locking her up into a confinement environment where she knows they can't physically harm her or force her to do exercises won't change the fact when she's home she's going to return to the same group of gutter trash in society who do nothing with their lives except drugs, drink, and have sex with everyone else. Every girl who has been associated with this group(of the girls my wife and I have met-8 or 9 so far) have been pregnant in the past year, most whom have ended in miscarriage and one self-reported abortion. She was fine after getting back from 6 months of substance treatment, but the same guy she was dating got involved and joined in the group of trash and that's what she keeps going back to. Unfortunately treatment centers don't work and attempting to provide counseling is not what she wants. 20 years retired military so the house has structure and cleared by DSHS and CPS programs. It's not like we can lock her in the house.