Do You Still Have to Pay Child Support if the Child Wants Nothing to Do With You

My question involves child support in the State of: New Jersey. I was ordered to pay child support for my now 17 1/2 yo. He has lived with me from birth till 17. When he and his mother split at his age of 4, I filed and obtained full legal custody of him. He began acting defiant and instead of sending him to a boarding school, his mother and I had numerous conversations about him returning there. Boy was I a fool for trusting her. She has filed for support and of course the judge didnt wanna hear anything I had to say. She lied thru the entire testimony. Long story short.. My question is: Since my son is on record telling the state of NJ he wants nothing to do with me, can I file for Emancipation? And yes it is so I do not have to pay CS. He lives with his mother, her husband and their daughter. If a 17yo doesnt want anything to do with me and has said that under oath why can't I file for Emancipation to grant him his wish?

You have not indicated a single fact that would suggest that your child is emancipated. Did you leave something out of your post?

The breakdown of your relationship with your child, while unfortunate, is not a basis to avoid helping to support your child.

I just found out that the mother of my son purposely sent Custody papera to my old address (where I havent lived in 3yrs along with her/our son). What better way to get Custody of the child than to appear in court without the father being present to defend himself! It worked! Court date was sent, I didn't appear so guess who got custody by default? How strange Custody papers were sent to an address I havent lived at in 3yrs but ironically, I receive Child Support Papera at my current address 3months after the Court Date. There is so much to this I could really do my own talk show. But My question is, if the mother purposely sent court papers to an address I dont live at and gets custody as "Father Failed to appear" and now as a result, Im paying a substantial amount of CS, Can she be held on perjury charges for misleading the courts into a favorable decision. And I've read several responses so please refrane from bashing.. I say that because if you're the mother and you are filing for Custody and you go to tje court and testity, "This is the address they have on file" vs the Address you have of where your child lives, you should be ashamed when asked "you dont know where your child has resided over the past 3yrs? Where have you been? Oh and to add.. She discharged him from school without my consent or knowledge and re-enrolled him into another school. Page one on bold lettering has his current address. So how is that you didnt have knowledge of where he currently lives? I wanna hear this one from the ladies.. It sounds like a do what you have to do by any means to get custody..leta hope he's not smart enough to figure out what you did. And Im not a lawyer.. I'm a man that knows his rights and takes care of his children but will not allow this woman to rin me or pull my pants down and bend me over. Now please explain that one.. I get Change of Custody papers and don't appear in court. BUT..(LOL) I receive Child Support papers and appear..

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And to add... I also found out she had help with pulling the Ultimate Okeedoke. The person involved told my wife.."She went to court and filed for Custody and won!" It was stated, "How is that possible? He wasn't there to testify!" Oh well she has custody that's all that matters! I watch CSI, but I do believe there is grounds for having them explain this when I am present. And to add why Emancipation and Termination of parental rights? I was told my son doesnt want anything to do with me anymore well because his mother brainwashed him.. So if you have attempted to regain custody prior before and the judge laughed at you (mind you I was there to present tons of evidence to the point where the judge refused to see/hear anything else.. How can you defeat this? By not letting me know I have a court date to embarass you.

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Quoting SLMDGC

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She has filed for support and of course the judge didnt wanna hear anything I had to say. She lied thru the entire testimony.

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That statement suggests that you were served with the petition and appeared to contest the petition.

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Quoting SLMDGC

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I just found out that the mother of my son purposely sent Custody papera to my old address (where I havent lived in 3yrs along with her/our son). What better way to get Custody of the child than to appear in court without the father being present to defend himself! It worked! Court date was sent, I didn't appear so guess who got custody by default?

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This happened after the child support hearing? If so, you and your lawyer are in a good position to have the order set aside. If not, why didn't you notice the issue before or during the child support proceeding?

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Quoting SLMDGC

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...Can she be held on perjury charges for misleading the courts into a favorable decision.

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Intentionally serving you at the wrong address can potentially get her into trouble with the court, but it's not perjury.

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Quoting SLMDGC

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I just found out that the mother of my son purposely sent Custody papera to my old address (where I havent lived in 3yrs along with her/our son). What better way to get Custody of the child than to appear in court without the father being present to defend himself! It worked! Court date was sent, I didn't appear so guess who got custody by default? How strange Custody papers were sent to an address I havent lived at in 3yrs but ironically, I receive Child Support Papera at my current address 3months after the Court Date. There is so much to this I could really do my own talk show. But My question is, if the mother purposely sent court papers to an address I dont live at and gets custody as "Father Failed to appear" and now as a result, Im paying a substantial amount of CS, Can she be held on perjury charges for misleading the courts into a favorable decision. And I've read several responses so please refrane from bashing.. I say that because if you're the mother and you are filing for Custody and you go to tje court and testity, "This is the address they have on file" vs the Address you have of where your child lives, you should be ashamed when asked "you dont know where your child has resided over the past 3yrs? Where have you been? Oh and to add.. She discharged him from school without my consent or knowledge and re-enrolled him into another school. Page one on bold lettering has his current address. So how is that you didnt have knowledge of where he currently lives? I wanna hear this one from the ladies.. It sounds like a do what you have to do by any means to get custody..leta hope he's not smart enough to figure out what you did. And Im not a lawyer.. I'm a man that knows his rights and takes care of his children but will not allow this woman to rin me or pull my pants down and bend me over. Now please explain that one.. I get Change of Custody papers and don't appear in court. BUT..(LOL) I receive Child Support papers and appear..

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And to add... I also found out she had help with pulling the Ultimate Okeedoke. The person involved told my wife.."She went to court and filed for Custody and won!" It was stated, "How is that possible? He wasn't there to testify!" Oh well she has custody that's all that matters! I watch CSI, but I do believe there is grounds for having them explain this when I am present. And to add why Emancipation and Termination of parental rights? I was told my son doesnt want anything to do with me anymore well because his mother brainwashed him.. So if you have attempted to regain custody prior before and the judge laughed at you (mind you I was there to present tons of evidence to the point where the judge refused to see/hear anything else.. How can you defeat this? By not letting me know I have a court date to embarass you.

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That's one of the most inane, misogynistic posts I've read here in quite some time.

Go pay for an attorney to help you. You've virtually guaranteed that none of the "ladies" here will go out of their way.

I found all of this out when I went to get access to my son's school's records. The chips fell where they were intended to fall. Every piece of documentation os in chronilogical order. Im from NJ. I know a child has to reside in the state for 6months to be a resident.. Basic timeline....He goes there on Novemeber..She discharges him from school in NY in March..She files secretely for Custody on March..My court date is in April (4months..NOT 6months thats needed) but why stress, there is no way east of the Mississippi that I will know..I fail to appear..Here comes June (6month period).. She goes and files for child support.. Judge sees failure to appear!! Wham!!! In the judges eyes, "If he doesn't care about Custody..why should I care about his earnings!" Its sad because I want her arrested.. She doesn't care about my family, why should I show mercy?

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No she sabatoshed the Custody prior Support. In order for her to obtain Support, she had to have established custody first. And like I said, what better way to win than to cheat..But it will come to light cuz like I said..I've been to every failed hearing she has motioned..why on earth would I not appear for a "Change in Custody Hearing?" I told the judge Your honor, why would I send him back to her knowing Im gonna end up paying over $1100 a month in Support? Does that make sense to you??" Little did I know what he was looking at the "Failure to Appear!"

You should discuss your options with your lawyer; however it appears to be beyond dispute that as of the time you received the petition for support you were on notice that custody was being changed -- otherwise mom would not be getting support -- and you have given us no indication that you objected to the custody order, only to the fact that you were ordered to pay support. You were similarly aware that you were going to court in New Jersey, not in New York.

If you want to get into jurisdictional issues, if the prior custody litigation occurred in New Jersey then that state had continuing, exclusive jurisdiction. If you had never before appeared in a New Jersey court, it should have been pretty obvious to you that your ex- had filed litigation in New Jersey, but you have not indicated that you objected.

Exactly..There was an aggreement she and I made, thats how he ended up back with her. But stupid me for trusting her and allowing us to make decisions outside of the court's knowledge. I would never say, "yeah you can have him back and Yeah I'll give you $1100 a month in support! Yeah, I'll give back my car, work 3 extra days, pay for all his added expenses..Sure I'll do all of that your honor!! All for her! Give me a break! And to add insult to injury???? The judges calculations were even wrong!! They had me making $99k and based their calculations off that Figure... (Just imagine what my support payments are/were-hopefully). I dont make anything near that! and the judge kept presenting him going to college.As if Im stupid not to know, he goes to college, your rent and car is paid off by then.. Smh

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I live in NY.. Like I said, I can make a talk show out of this.. I've lived in NY with my son for the past 12yrs.. when I obtained Custody from her, I did so from NJ. As a result, all of my court documents are in the state of NY (She knows this because anytime she had to file anything, it was in NY..But he went to stay with her for a short while (in NJ), is why NJ is doing what they are doing. However, One doesnt know unless they are told. So because NJ had my old address (Last time I filed and won Custody 12yrs ago), they wouldnt have my uldated address. No reason for me to deal with NJ when I now reside in NY. And again.. for her to go on record saying she didnt have my address/thats the only address they had on file?? I hope one would ask, "you told us you didnt have his address.."?

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To answer me not objecting..I thought I clearly stated that at a prior Change of Custody hearing I presented, I gave evidence to where the judge dismissed her motion and didnt let me present evidence as to why A custody change is a mutual agreed upon. But Yes I do Object and would have but again, I was stupid enough to trust the BS that I didn't forsee coming.

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I told the judge I objected to the order because I saw no such order. I was there for support.. Custody had already been illegally established. Judges dont care about your issues..they care about what you have to pay!!