Can I Keep My Son Away from His Father

To sum up my situation before i write my questions, I had my son without being married to his father. before finding out i was pregnant I had a court date set up to have a restraining order put into affect due to abuse, his massive amount of drug use, and stealing. In the decade he has been in and out of rehabs and during my pregnancy he went to jail three times. He was clean from drugs during the last trimester of my pregnancy and we had the restraining order adjusted so he could legally be there for the birth of our son. After he was born he went back to drug use and jail and rehabs. I am still mutual with his parents and let them have their grandchild for a night every other weekend. I have made it clear to them not to bring my son around his father. When his parent came to pick him up the other day they had informed me that he has been "clean" for several months and is in a rehab in another state. After two years of this, I could care less if he is clean for five years straight, I do not want him in my sons life. He has also seen his son maybe five times in the last eight months of his life and has not paid child support or (and i am not exaggerating at all) had not spent a single cent on my son. So here are my questions:

1.)Is is possible at all to keep him out of his life permanently or temporarily till my son is old enough to make his own decisions?
2.)Is there anyway I can make a legal document for the grandparents with what I listed above?
3.) Will it just be easier to have a restraining order against his father?

What state are you in and did you ever go to court to establish paternity and a child support order?

What is the name of your state?

I am sorry, I reside in Washington State.
A paternity was established while at the hospital.
Child support was done through the state but i have yet to receive anything, i would only receive 135 or so I believe it was.

1. If he asks, he will get visitation.

2. Grandparents have nothing to do with it - and if Dad won't take the child to see them, they WILL NOT get court-ordered visitation unless you both agree...and even then, it's risky.

3. A restraining order for what, exactly? Don't play games. There is clearly no reason for a restraining order other than to satisfy your attempts to make Dad go away.

With that said, a restraining order WILL NOT matter. He will be allowed supervised visitation at the very least, and it will be temporary. Assuming all goes fine, he'll get the usual NCP. Overnights, weekends, entire weeks.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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1. If he asks, he will get visitation.

2. Grandparents have nothing to do with it - and if Dad won't take the child to see them, they WILL NOT get court-ordered visitation unless you both agree...and even then, it's risky.

3. A restraining order for what, exactly? Don't play games. There is clearly no reason for a restraining order other than to satisfy your attempts to make Dad go away.

With that said, a restraining order WILL NOT matter. He will be allowed supervised visitation at the very least, and it will be temporary. Assuming all goes fine, he'll get the usual NCP. Overnights, weekends, entire weeks.

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The restraining order is not to satisfy my attempt to keep him away, its for the safety of my child. He has a records or abuse (not only from our case), drug use, and stealing.

He has only seen the child...how many times? 5 times in the last 8 months?

Hon, that's not going to convince the court that he's a threat. And yes, you're trying your best to keep him away - that's not going to work. It was in your first post.

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I do not want him in my sons life. He has also seen his son maybe five times in the last eight months of his life and has not paid child support or (and i am not exaggerating at all) had not spent a single cent on my son. So here are my questions..

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^^^ That really is about as crystal clear as you're ever going to find. He's obviously not a threat to the child.

But even if he was...did you miss the last part? I'll quote myself:

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With that said, a restraining order WILL NOT matter. He will be allowed supervised visitation at the very least, and it will be temporary. Assuming all goes fine, he'll get the usual NCP. Overnights, weekends, entire weeks.

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I live in WA. You have no idea how many of the commissioners are sick and tired of one parent claiming X, Y & Z when it suits them and if you sat in on some of the hearings, you'd see exactly what I'm talking about. It's no longer a case that uterus = automatic custody. Heck I remember one day the father lived out of state and was represented by an attorney. Mom was present in court. Mom tried to convince the commissioner that Dad's history was why she didn't send the child on a plane to go and be with his father. You can imagine how well that went down - not only was she slapped down hard, but the ruling went in Dad's favor, she was found in contempt, ordered to pay Dad's legal fees with a sharp warning that if it happened again, Mom had virtually no chance at keeping custody.

The best (well, only actually) thing you can do is adjust your thinking. If Dad wants, he's going to see the child. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop that. If you can't communicate, get the court to order MyFamilyWizard as a means to communicate.

But rest assured, if you do it often enough you're going to be the visiting parent.

Quote:

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Quoting Dogmatique

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He has only seen the child...how many times? 5 times in the last 8 months?

Hon, that's not going to convince the court that he's a threat. And yes, you're trying your best to keep him away - that's not going to work. It was in your first post.



^^^ That really is about as crystal clear as you're ever going to find. He's obviously not a threat to the child.

But even if he was...did you miss the last part? I'll quote myself:



I live in WA. You have no idea how many of the commissioners are sick and tired of one parent claiming X, Y & Z when it suits them and if you sat in on some of the hearings, you'd see exactly what I'm talking about. It's no longer a case that uterus = automatic custody. Heck I remember one day the father lived out of state and was represented by an attorney. Mom was present in court. Mom tried to convince the commissioner that Dad's history was why she didn't send the child on a plane to go and be with his father. You can imagine how well that went down - not only was she slapped down hard, but the ruling went in Dad's favor, she was found in contempt, ordered to pay Dad's legal fees with a sharp warning that if it happened again, Mom had virtually no chance at keeping custody.

The best (well, only actually) thing you can do is adjust your thinking. If Dad wants, he's going to see the child. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop that. If you can't communicate, get the court to order MyFamilyWizard as a means to communicate.

But rest assured, if you do it often enough you're going to be the visiting parent.

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I agree 100%. However, I will state, for the sake of clarity, that this applies AFTER dad take you to court for visitation, is given a schedule, and you disobey the court orders.

You made a baby with him and he will get visitation rights should he seek them.

Time to put your big girl panties on and suck it up. You picked him. Your kid has the right to know his dad.