How to Prove to the Court That the Mother is Not a Capable or Good Parent

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Quoting Dogmatique

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You. Are. SO. Awesome.

:D

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LOL

Yeah, some people just don't have the brains that God gave a goat.

You have done nothing but rack me over the coals and make me out to be the bad person in this situation. which I am far from! I asked for advice you called me out to be a liar in which I am not. I completely understand anything can be found online, I am not one to pretend someone I am not.

Like I said thanks for the advice and good luck to all of you!

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Quoting Sarajones

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You have done nothing but rack me over the coals and make me out to be the bad person in this situation. which I am far from! I asked for advice you called me out to be a liar in which I am not. I completely understand anything can be found online, I am not one to pretend someone I am not.

Like I said thanks for the advice and good luck to all of you!

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The problem is this. You're telling us that Dad's attorney basically said the exact opposite of what has been said here. Unfortunately, if that is truly coming from an attorney, then Dad needs a different attorney because the one he has is setting him up for failure.

You don't have to believe us. I would hazard that none of us really give a toss about you, Dad or Mom. The child is the focus here, and the real, bona fide, absolute truth is that not of one us has steered you in the wrong direction.

You see, it's not actually that common to see us all agree. When it does happen, it's because of 1 of 2 things (and often both):

1. We've been there and done that and have sold out of t-shirts or
2. Have the ability to not only gauge the thread, but also to respond according to the law.

We see this all the time. Really. Dad's situation is not unique, and it's not difficult to answer....and yet you've still convinced yourself (or both of you) that Dad actually has a shot at changing custody.

Based on what you've said here? No, he really doesn't.

Can you guess why?

There's rarely much point in responding to a question that boils down to, in essence, "Here's my one-sided version of the facts, and why the other parent shouldn't have custody. Will custody be changed if the case goes to court?" In court, the one-sided story is subject to challenge, and other facts will also come into play.

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Quoting Sarajones

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It is clear to us that she is not what you call a good parent. She currently has 3 kids with her ex husband (my fiance) and 1 child with her new husband and is currently pregnant again. She has a hard time taking care of the ones she has now and we are afraid when the new baby arrives things will get worse.

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All of that raises the question, how did she get equal custody in the first place? Is she not the same person that she was when your husband agreed to 50/50 custody at the time of the divorce? If your husband's lawyer is concerned that your husband will lose a custody battle, and will also lose some of the parenting time he presently enjoys such that his support burden will go up, there's a lot more to the story than you've shared.

Mom's having numerous jobs is worth noting, but there's nothing about changing jobs that stands as evidence that somebody is a bad parent or that they're not properly supporting their family. A petition to change child support says absolutely nothing about parenting skills. If dad chooses to provide transportation such that the kids can participate in activities that they might not otherwise be able to do, that's great, but that doesn't create a context in which he can claim that mom is neglectful or an inadequate parent. It's anything but unusual for parents to have schedules that conflict with certain work activities, to have kids involved in activities at the same time in more than one place, or to otherwise be unable to manage and attend every activity in which every child would like to participate. Similarly, dad's taking the kids for checkups is great, but parents (married or divorced) have every right to allocate that sort of responsibility between themselves as they see fit. Such a division of labor can occur by express agreement, or by virtue of the parties' practices.

You have told us that the parents have 50/50 custody -- so why is it that you believe that transporting the kids to their activities, taking the kids to the doctor, and the like, should fall on mom? If you don't believe that, why is it a point of contention that your husband is taking care of his kids?

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Quoting Sarajones

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Truthfully he doesnt care about the money or we would not be investing fighting for full custody.

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Then why did you bring up the issue of money, in relation to his lawyer's concern that the mother might prevail in her custody case and end up with more child support, or in relation to mom's petitions to modify support?

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Quoting Sarajones

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Thanks for the advice, he has been in contact with his attorney and she states something totally different from what you are saying. But she has also seen the documentation of things and she is the one who continues to encourage us to document everything. She was also the attorney that he hired for the divorce and has dealt with everything and she knows the judges and is advising him with what she has seen and heard from her colleagues.

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So she's the lawyer who advised him that 50/50 custody was a good deal for him at the time of the divorce? And who, despite everything that has happened since, remains concerned that if he starts a custody fight mom could be made the primary custodian?

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Quoting llworking

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We can only go by what you tell us. Your initial post did not contain any information that would indicate a change in circumstance.

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And that is a very important point, because if nothing material to custody has changed since the parties agreed to 50/50 custody, mom's parenting is the same as it was at the time of the last order.

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Quoting Sarajones

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...when taking an SOS pad to your childs are to get a fake tatoo off so nothing was done except for DHS now has a file for her.

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So you called protective services because the child had a temporary tattoo scrubbed off? A child of what age? A tattoo of what? And this report was over some residual redness of the skin? With DHS investigating and finding nothing constituting abuse or neglect?

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Quoting Sarajones

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Like I also said you don't know the whole situation so I can see why what was said.

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Right. We only know what you tell us, and we don't have word one from mom.

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Quoting Sarajones

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I only reached out on here to see what type of responses and advice and see if anyone is going through the same type of situation.

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And the response you received was more tentative than what your husband is hearing from his own lawyer -- that you have not shared facts that would justify a change in circumstances that would justify a court's revisiting the case, as opposed to the lawyer's concern that even with his binders of documentation a new custody fight could result in mom winning primary custody.

I'd like to say thank you, Dogmatique, for this post. I'm currently trying to get the courts to change the temporary custody agreement we currently have in place. I've got proof my ex has made suicidal statements, as well as admitting that there is a meth problem. These 2 things, as well as other, are all within the past 30-45 days & I've already got a court date on the 21st, that hearing is to take care of the objection to relocation i filed against him. My ex moved without giving any notices & the 21st is my chance to say why I object to his move. I'm turning in a new parenting plan at the same time, along with all the electronic evidence proving he's got serious issues. I'm not sure if this hearing on the 21st is the right time to bring up the problems in his household, since this hearing is about me objecting to him relocating. He's already moved, however, so I don't think the judge will make him move back to the town he was in. That is why I'm going to for majority custody, due to the serious issues he currently has in his home. At this point we are sharing custody, although he managed to get 9 hours more time, so he's considered majority custodian. Do you think bringing these things up during the objection to relocation hearing is the right time? I've got no way of obtaining legal advice, the Internet & court facilitator are my only sources & the facilitator cannot give legal advice, only tell me what paperwork to file.

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I apologize, I should have begun my own thread. Instead of horning in on this one.

Add this to your own thread - and I'll respond. You may not like what I'll say though.