Leaving a Child Alone in a Car for a Few Minutes

I was never left alone in a car with the motor running when I was four years old...

Did that really happen to you Aaron? Must have been an old car. If that happened today, your parents would have a criminal record and who knows, your law education may never had been paid for.:friendly_wink:

I go to the supermarket 3 or 4 times a week. I see kids sitting in cars while mom or dad goes into the store all the time. It has never occurred to me to call the police to report them. Does that make me a bad person?

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Quoting budwad

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Did that really happen to you Aaron?

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Yes.

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Quoting budwad

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Must have been an old car.

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You're calling me old? Okay, fair enough.... What it was, though, was a standard transmission.

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Quoting budwad

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If that happened today, your parents would have a criminal record and who knows, your law education may never had been paid for.

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Had there been a bad outcome then, it would have been subject to potential charges. Had the same thing happened now, nobody outside the family would know about it so there would be no charges. One way or the other, I don't think it would have affected my savings and student loan eligibility.

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Quoting budwad

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Does that make me a bad person?

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Are you inviting us to tell you what makes you a bad person? There's a door best left shut. :cool: (Just kidding.)

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Quoting budwad

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I agree completely and what I was trying to say in my original post. If there is a real concern about a danger, by all means report it. But just to get someone in trouble because you want to teach them some lesson because you think you are smarter than they makes me question where we have gotten to as a society.



The woman saw him walk away from the car. If she had said something to him this wouldn't have happened. If she had waited 5 minutes before calling the police, this wouldn't have happened. But no. She knew better than him what was best and then just drove away.

Everyone of you critical folks was left in a car or unattended in your life while growing up. How on earth did you ever make it to adulthood without your parents being arrested?

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I was never, ever left in a car. I was never unattended, either (sleeping notwithstanding) Of course, being a no-car family and being the youngest sibling probably helped.
When thou does assume...

I appreciate all of the good and bad comments. Either way I have to face the music.

What is puzzling to me, but a little reassuring (to a very small degree) is that the deputy did not write anything down in front of me nor ask anything more than if it was true as the woman reported (That i left my car and ran into the store leaving my son unattended for "4 to 5 minutes" (his exact words that he said he was told by some woman) - this happened approximately 45 hours (nearly 2 days) ago and I have not heard anything from anyone on the incident. I did call a lawyer and he said he would contact the sherrif's dept to see if he could find out if charges were going to filed or what was going to happen, and he said he would call me if he were able to find out anything. He said if I were to be charged he (obviously) would want me to retain his services.

If the police dept or DA or Child Protectives or whomever else may be involved thought my son was in danger or I was going to put my son or anyone else in a neglectful situation, wouldn't or shouldn't something have been done already?

Maybe they are making me sweat it out so I learn my lesson?

I am just trying to understand. Maybe they are interviewing the sales clerks at the store or asked to see surveillance videos or are investigating other things first? I just don't know. I DO know that I am very nervous and cannot explain how horrible I feel that I brought this on myself and my family.

I'm wondering if the woman got into an argument with a guy at the scene who she was accusing of leaving the child in the car, and if he came across as hostile and dismissive because it wasn't his kid or his car.

I already indicated that, were this being regarded as an emergency or a situation where the child was in danger, I think protective services would have already acted. I don't think anybody is trying to make you "sweat it out" -- things move slowly over the weekend -- but if it were deemed an emergency you would already have seen action.

You arrived home shortly after the incident. You weren't drunk. You were polite and cooperative. Nothing was obviously wrong with your home. The child was safe in the car, and showed no signs of abuse or neglect. I don't think the officer is doing any further investigation before making his report.

Paranoia is a debilitating condition so stop thinking about it for now and wait to see if anything happens. Get on with your life.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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I'm wondering if the woman got into an argument with a guy at the scene who she was accusing of leaving the child in the car, and if he came across as hostile and dismissive because it wasn't his kid or his car.

I already indicated that, were this being regarded as an emergency or a situation where the child was in danger, I think protective services would have already acted. I don't think anybody is trying to make you "sweat it out" -- things move slowly over the weekend -- but if it were deemed an emergency you would already have seen action.

You arrived home shortly after the incident. You weren't drunk. You were polite and cooperative. Nothing was obviously wrong with your home. The child was safe in the car, and showed no signs of abuse or neglect. I don't think the officer is doing any further investigation before making his report.

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Thank you. Those are ALL great points. I never even thought of the fact that the "Altercation" may very well have been with the guy who approached me as I walked back to my car.

As far as drinking, I hadn't had anything. I would NEVER do that, but I don't know if it a good sign that he just assumed that or what. I mean he KNEW it was a liquor store I went into and he didn't ask me to produce anything (the 2 little 1-shotters of Vodka that I bought and were sitting in my car).

Also, my son was grabbing my leg as if he was afraid to go towards the house where the deputy was. I don't know if the deputy would think of this as a sign of my son feeling safe with me or maybe he took it as a sign of him being scared altogether.

The only thing that I thought about was that my wife stayed outside while she let my son in the house (once again leaving him unattended - which I know is really a completely different thing, but still I just we made a good impression that we are good people, we have no record of any kind - never been arrested and I got my first ticket in 13 years for making a rolling right hand turn on red about a year ago). We are law abiding and have a loving, safe home. We both have very good jobs. My son goes to a daycare that is over $1000 a month because we want him to have the best. We live in a big house with a pool and he has everything he needs along with tons of toys, etc etc...

I really appreciate the words of comfort you just commented. I hope the deputy isn't taking it further - even though he said it is out of his hands and that his "Supervisor has to make a decision."

Do you think there is a chance that I will just not hear anything at all if they decide not to take any further action?

I think if I don't hear something by Friday, shouldn't I have a right to know what is happening? I mean I am walking around a nervous wreck...

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Quoting budwad

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Paranoia is a debilitating condition so stop thinking about it for now and wait to see if anything happens. Get on with your life.

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You are absolutely right. I am really trying to forget about it and not worry until there actually IS something to worry about and IS some action I need to take...

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Well, in 5 hours we will be on 3 days since the incident, and I still have not heard anything. I just stopped home to check the mail and nothing was in it.

I guess at this point, no news is good news?

Statutes limiting how long the prosecutor has to file charges varies depending on the crime and state. Minor crimes limitations are often limited to one year but could be shorter. The longer it is without hearing anything the better it is but it is way too soon to think you are in the clear yet. Think a month or more before you really start relaxing.

And realize nothing happened to your file during the weekend. The prosecutor wouldn't even see it until Monday at the earliest and depending on how busy they are may not see it for awhile, if it was even forwarded to them.

Although yes, things can move slowly, I think it's a stretch that this case would result in charges under New York's child neglect laws, and also reiterate that if the authorities viewed this matter as a situation where the child were actually in danger they would have acted by now.

You are likely right but only time will tell. There have been stranger situations resulting in actions.

Greetings.....read the entire thread with interest.

To: jdonaldson

What you did was wrong. I think you know that by now. BUT, if the police hadn't shown up on your doorstep; would you have continued the dangerous practice of leaving your child unattended in a vehicle?.......just for a few minutes? I think you would continue to do this and have probably done so many times before you got 'caught' at the liquor store.

As you admit you were wrong numerous times throughout the thread…..yet, there is always the .... "but"....... it was safe, the car was alarmed, the windows were cracked (which doesn't make a difference when vehicles heat up) it was only 65 degrees, I could see him 90% of the time, only picking something up from the front of the store, not a ‘bad’ part of town (my personal favorite) and on and on........

You continue to justify your actions and come to the forum to either: 1. Find out how much trouble you might be in; or 2. Want help to create excuses or 3. Possibly look for support from others who have done this in the past and tell you what you did was okay.

It doesn't make any difference if you (or others) were left in the car as a child.....(as prominent NFL football players are learning as they whoop their children just like they were whooped as a child) This is a very different world we live in. Look around!

As for what DOES happen to children when left alone in a vehicle the list is endless.....strangled by power windows, knock cars into gear, start fires, choke on something, strangle themselves with unused seatbelts, kidnapped, leave the vehicle exposing themselves to countless dangers, falls from vehicles, carbon monoxide poisoning, crashed into by another car in the parking lot, etc. These aren’t possible scenarios, but documented incidents that happen frequently.

As far as charges.......your guess is as good as anyone. Every jurisdiction handles these cases very differently.

Here's a case very similar to yours so you can see what happened to this mom. http://www.today.com/parents/errand-...car-6C10584642

The bottom line is...........why would you ever want to knowingly put your child as risk? It's as simple as your own convenience being more important than the safety of your child. There is no other way to look at it.

Buck up; you got “caught;” but are extremely fortunate nothing happened to your child……

Point of order. That was not a storefront business. Entirely different scenario when going into a department store.

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Quoting nowfortherestofthestory

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Greetings.....read the entire thread with interest.

To: jdonaldson

What you did was wrong. I think you know that by now. BUT, if the police hadn't shown up on your doorstep; would you have continued the dangerous practice of leaving your child unattended in a vehicle?.......just for a few minutes? I think you would continue to do this and have probably done so many times before you got 'caught' at the liquor store.

As you admit you were wrong numerous times throughout the thread…..yet, there is always the .... "but"....... it was safe, the car was alarmed, the windows were cracked (which doesn't make a difference when vehicles heat up) it was only 65 degrees, I could see him 90% of the time, only picking something up from the front of the store, not a ‘bad’ part of town (my personal favorite) and on and on........

You continue to justify your actions and come to the forum to either: 1. Find out how much trouble you might be in; or 2. Want help to create excuses or 3. Possibly look for support from others who have done this in the past and tell you what you did was okay.

It doesn't make any difference if you (or others) were left in the car as a child.....(as prominent NFL football players are learning as they whoop their children just like they were whooped as a child) This is a very different world we live in. Look around!

As for what DOES happen to children when left alone in a vehicle the list is endless.....strangled by power windows, knock cars into gear, start fires, choke on something, strangle themselves with unused seatbelts, kidnapped, leave the vehicle exposing themselves to countless dangers, falls from vehicles, carbon monoxide poisoning, crashed into by another car in the parking lot, etc. These aren’t possible scenarios, but documented incidents that happen frequently.

As far as charges.......your guess is as good as anyone. Every jurisdiction handles these cases very differently.

Here's a case very similar to yours so you can see what happened to this mom. http://www.today.com/parents/errand-...car-6C10584642

The bottom line is...........why would you ever want to knowingly put your child as risk? It's as simple as your own convenience being more important than the safety of your child. There is no other way to look at it.

Buck up; you got “caught;” but are extremely fortunate nothing happened to your child……

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No this hasnt' happened before, but thanks for assuming. Look, I am not going to make any more excuses. I made a stupid mistake and will accept the consequences that I already have and any more I have coming my way.

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Quoting nowfortherestofthestory

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Here's a case very similar to yours so you can see what happened to this mom. http://www.today.com/parents/errand-...car-6C10584642

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Different state, different law. But even in Michigan the law is that "A person who is responsible for the care or welfare of a child shall not leave that child unattended in a vehicle for a period of time that poses an unreasonable risk of harm or injury to the child or under circumstances that pose an unreasonable risk of harm or injury to the child". You're not automatically guilty merely because you leave a child unattended in a vehicle, which appears to be the position the prosecutor is taking in that case.

Still no word yet. Does anyone know what my rights may be to know what is happening?

You have the right to assume they will tell you anything you need to know when you need to know it.

There is no law you can invoke that will force them to say, Yes, we're going to arrest you or No, we're not going to arrest you if that is what you mean. But the longer that goes by, the less likely it is that anything is going to happen.

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Quoting jdonaldson

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Still no word yet. Does anyone know what my rights may be to know what is happening?

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I really doubt that anything is happening at all or will happen.

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Quoting llworking

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I really doubt that anything is happening at all or will happen.

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I do hope that is the case as I have learned my lesson. I just find it odd that I wouldn't hear anything by now. One lawyer I spoke with said that if I don't hear anything by the end of the day Friday, that nothing will probably come of this (as far as being charged or anything). The evening it happened, the deputy said his "supervisor would decide what action to take and that could take up to 2 weeks."

I know it probably sounds odd that I am asking when it has only been almost 5 days and the deputy said it could take up to 2 weeks, but I do have a lawyer that has been in contact with the sheriff's dept asking questions as well as left a message for the deputy that was dispatched to call him and he has not heard anything nor were they able to tell him what was going on with this.

My lawyer DID say he has seen and represented clients in similar but worse cases that ended up in a fine and no criminal record.

The only things helping me get through the day is feeling confident that if something DOES come of this, that I have a highly recommended lawyer that will hopefully represent me very well and help keep this from a criminal record or something worse than a fine. The other is knowing that I have taken a hard look at myself and my life and how I conduct myself. This was a careless, selfish, reckless, and very stupid decision I made that was made without thought (other than "What harm could it be? He will be fine for 5 minutes or less." IF I had really thought that through, I would have either taken him home first or just taken him in with me).

It is very selfish to think that I am a better person, father, and husband because of this (being that it was at the expense of putting my son at risk like I did), but I truly am. I love my son and still can't believe I made the decision I made.

Again, I won't have a choice but to face any consequences headed my way legally, but I really hope it is a "Slap on the wrist" (so to speak)...

No news is usually good news. There is a statute of limitations.

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Quoting jdonaldson

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Still no word yet. Does anyone know what my rights may be to know what is happening?

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Don't poke the bear. The less attention you draw to what you did, the better.

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Quoting free9man

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Don't poke the bear. The less attention you draw to what you did, the better.

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I agree and informed my lawyer of the same thing. Nothing came in the mail today nor did I hear anything today either.

I know it's not safe to say I am in the clear, however I do feel a little releived that at minimum they must know I am very remorseful and are taking into consideration all of the conditions in this situation. I am looking forward to making better decisions going forward and probably won't feel at ease until months from now. Even then, I think the statute is 3 years in NYS for what is deemed "Child neglect" IF that is what they want to try and prove that it was.
After much thought, I DO feel I did neglect my son even if only for 5 minutes. Lesson DEFINITELY learned...

Well, tomorrow evening will make 2 weeks since the incident and I still have not heard anything. I would think at some point I should hear SOMETHING, no?

if they were going to do anything, yes, you will eventually hear something and while it is still too soon (in my opinion) to write off the possibility something is in the works, no news is good news at this point.

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Quoting jdonaldson

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Well, tomorrow evening will make 2 weeks since the incident and I still have not heard anything. I would think at some point I should hear SOMETHING, no?

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No. They're not going to contact you to say that they're not going to do anything. At this point contact = bad; no contact = good