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Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent

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  • 09-28-2014, 12:48 AM
    NeedSumHelp!
    Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Maryland

    I'd like to thank, in advance, whomever may reply to this post. It's been eating at me for 14 years now.
    One random day, roughly 14 years ago, my son's mother broke the news to me that she had changed my son's name. A name given to him in honor of his late grandfather (my father) who had passed away approximately 4 years earlier. This was one of the more devastating moments of my life. At that point in my life, I wasn't willing or able to challenge her in any way. Some years later, when she and I began the child support process, I spoke to a family law attorney who told me she could absolutely change his name without my consent.

    I'm now in a much better position to take action. The way it went down has always felt wrong. I was present when he was born, signed the birth certificate and have been present and active throughout his life, to spite what she might say. She was however, granted uncontested full custody.

    From everything that I've been reading, it seems like my consent was necessary. One of the Marylad petition's (DRIN62) says "Ordinarily the court will look at whether all parents, guardians and custodians, as well as the child, are in agreement with the name change." and "It is usually preferable to submit the Petition with signed consents from all parents, guardians and custodians. Before preparing the Petition for Change of Name, contact each parent, guardian, or custodian." Another petition (DR62) has 3 check boxes asking if:

    The other parent, guardian or custodian:
    Consents to and joins this petition.
    Has not consented at this time.
    Cannot be found, and I have attached an Affidavit and Motion to Serve by Alternative Means.

    In DRIN62, in your expert opinion, in what abnormal or unusual circumstances would my consent not be required? If she has full custody? Could she had said that I was violent and wanted to protect him? Could she had said that I had abondoned them? Could she had forged my signature? Am I allowed to see the court documents?

    Now, at this point in my son's life, it would be unreasonable to change his name back, but can this be contested in any way? If she did something illegal, I want to have it addressed. My son never had a chance to meet his grandfather and as he is my only son, I will not be carrying on my family name.

    I truly apologize for this long-winded story. If you've read this far, you have probably gathered that this has left a deep, unhealed wound. I've never actually put in words until now. I thank you again for your valuable time. I'm a CPA, if you need tax or financial advise, I'm at your disposal 😄
  • 09-28-2014, 04:26 AM
    llworking
    Re: She Changed My Son's Name Without My Consent.legally
    Since an attorney back then told you that she absolutely could do that, then most likely the overall conditions of the situation did allow her to do that.

    However, even if she somehow did it when she really did need your consent, it is far too late to do anything about that now. You already admit that it would be unreasonable to change his name now (and the court would never allow you to do it anyway)...and it would be long past any kind of statute of limitations to do anything to mom, even if she had committed some kind of crime in doing it.
  • 09-28-2014, 10:26 AM
    adjusterjack
    Re: Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent
    Get over it.

    Letting this fester is a waste of your emotional resources.

    Your son's name is not who he is nor does it make any difference in your relationship with him.
  • 09-28-2014, 10:31 AM
    CourtClerk
    Re: Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent
    Regardless of what happened back then, no court is going to unring a 14 year old bell. That name is what your child has been called for a decade and a half.
  • 09-28-2014, 10:37 AM
    cbg
    Re: Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent
    Pull up your big boy panties and get over it. Even if you were supposed to be consulted, it's at worst a civil dispute. So you take it to court, she gets her hand slapped and told not to do it again, and the boy's name remains the way it is since by your own admission it's not reasonable to force him to change his name now.

    But since you've already been told, by a lawyer, that she DID have the right to do that, it's quite unlikely that you'll ever get it into court or that she gets her hand slapped.

    Might I suggest some counseling so that you can discover why this is such a big deal to you?
  • 10-09-2014, 09:49 AM
    Taxing Matters
    Re: Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent
    The bottom line is that even if you could have challenged it 14 years ago, it is too late to do that now. You do not say how old your son is now. If he’s at least age 18, then it is completely up to him what name he wishes to have. He’s free to change the name to anything he wants. You, however, cannot force him to change his name.

    If he is not age 18 yet, then he’s at least age 14 and as a practical matter a court isn’t about to force a name change on him that he doesn’t want, even if the court could do so. You said it yourself: “Now, at this point in my son's life, it would be unreasonable to change his name back….” That’s exactly what the judge will think, too.

    I understand that for some guys having their son carry on the family name is a big deal to them. But what his name is really doesn’t matter beyond a sense of pride in the family name. It doesn’t change who he is or what kind of person he’ll grow up to be. Moreover, there is no guarantee that he’ll have son to carry on the family name anyway. William Shakespeare said it nicely in his play Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II:
    “What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
    By any other name would smell as sweet;
    So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
    Retain that dear perfection which he owes
    Without that title.”

    It is not the name that makes the man. It is his character that makes the man.
  • 10-09-2014, 10:35 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Name Change of a Child Completed Without Non-Custodial Parent's Consent
    Quote:

    Quoting NeedSumHelp!
    View Post
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Maryland

    I'd like to thank, in advance, whomever may reply to this post. It's been eating at me for 14 years now.
    One random day, roughly 14 years ago, my son's mother broke the news to me that she had changed my son's name. A name given to him in honor of his late grandfather (my father) who had passed away approximately 4 years earlier. This was one of the more devastating moments of my life. At that point in my life, I wasn't willing or able to challenge her in any way. Some years later, when she and I began the child support process, I spoke to a family law attorney who told me she could absolutely change his name without my consent.

    I'm now in a much better position to take action. The way it went down has always felt wrong. I was present when he was born, signed the birth certificate and have been present and active throughout his life, to spite what she might say. She was however, granted uncontested full custody.

    From everything that I've been reading, it seems like my consent was necessary. One of the Marylad petition's (DRIN62) says "Ordinarily the court will look at whether all parents, guardians and custodians, as well as the child, are in agreement with the name change." and "It is usually preferable to submit the Petition with signed consents from all parents, guardians and custodians. Before preparing the Petition for Change of Name, contact each parent, guardian, or custodian." Another petition (DR62) has 3 check boxes asking if:

    The other parent, guardian or custodian:
    Consents to and joins this petition.
    Has not consented at this time.
    Cannot be found, and I have attached an Affidavit and Motion to Serve by Alternative Means.

    In DRIN62, in your expert opinion, in what abnormal or unusual circumstances would my consent not be required? If she has full custody? Could she had said that I was violent and wanted to protect him? Could she had said that I had abondoned them? Could she had forged my signature? Am I allowed to see the court documents?

    Now, at this point in my son's life, it would be unreasonable to change his name back, but can this be contested in any way? If she did something illegal, I want to have it addressed. My son never had a chance to meet his grandfather and as he is my only son, I will not be carrying on my family name.

    I truly apologize for this long-winded story. If you've read this far, you have probably gathered that this has left a deep, unhealed wound. I've never actually put in words until now. I thank you again for your valuable time. I'm a CPA, if you need tax or financial advise, I'm at your disposal ��



    Even though the matter is absolutely and completely moot, you would need to look at the laws then - not now. There are at least 2 revisions since 2003.
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