Getting Custody When the Mother is Bipolar

Thank you Aardvarc. As per the chores you spoke about, she has asked me to do chores around the house. I take care of my son because i want to. When we wake up in the morning, i go and get him out of bed. i check on him to see if his diaper needs to be changed. he doesnt eat right away. i lay him down in my bed while i go take a shower. sometimes she will wake up and just lay there, other times she will continue to sleep until i get out of the shower. then she goes straight to the shower. then i will go make him a bottle, feed him, and play with him for a few minutes. then it is time to get his things together so that i can take him to her moms house for the day. so i drive him over there, spend a few minutes with him, then go to work. then after work, i go pick him up, take him home, and spend some time with him. Occasionally once in a blue moon, i will actually get a cooked meal. but usually not. usually i will have to bring something home or make it myself. so i will try to clean up around the house a bit, do some laundry, etc, let my son play and watch tv for a little bit. then its time to give him a bath. i try to do this every night. she even stopped me from giving him a bath one night? i have no clue why. her only excuse was "he doesnt need it". i have been trying to make a routine for him. come home, play, eat, bath time, lotion and massage his little muscles to help him relax, usually finish his bottle, relax for a few minutes, and then its time for bed. so i put him to bed, and follow right behind him. normally, she beats me to bed. or is laying there doing nothing. anytime he wakes up in the middle of the night (which i had stopped him from doing while she was gone), she either doesnt want to deal with it, or she wants to give him a bottle just to shut him up. which is messing his routine up. he is past the age to where he doesnt need to eat at night time anymore. he may cry for a few minutes, just like the doctor told me. but if you have checked him and there is nothing wrong, and you pick him up and he immediately calms down, he is fine. let him get himself back to sleep. she wont have that. because she doesnt want to listen to it. she is just lazy. she made me sleep on the couch one night. apparently, he woke up. she came and laid him down on top of me at 3am, and said "Here, take care of him. Heres a diaper" and she walked back to the bedroom, and went right back to bed. after trying to rock him back to sleep for a few minutes, i decided to do as i had done before to get him to sleep through the night. just let him lay there for a few minutes. the first rule starts at waiting for 5 minutes, then checking on him. so i go lay on the couch and watch the clock. 2 minutes pass, then she gets up to get him and tells me "why cant you just do your job right? you are so damn lazy. god, you are uselsss" which of course upsets me. but its the middle of the night, and my son doesnt need to hear it. so i let it go. so she makes him a bottle, and of course he goes to bed. but he didnt need it. that wasnt my goal to take the easy way out. i was doing what i had already done before that worked great, just what the doctor advised me to do.

furthermore, 90 percent of diaper changed are done by myself. as are most feedings. even when she takes him to her mothers house, someone else is always holding him when i walk in. even her family has told me that one of them would always wake up in the middle of the night with him, or is always spending time with him while she sleeps, or just hangs out and does nothing. i would estimate that she may spend about 20 percent of her free time with him. she is more concerned about going and getting her nails done, clothes shopping, buying something else unnessecary. i cant remember the last time she gave him a bath instead of me. The only time she EVER actually steps up and does these things more than me, is when she gets mad at me and starts one of these 3-4 day arguments. then, all of a sudden, she wants to look good, or make herself feel better, and one day, one time, decided she would take him to her moms before she went to work. the first and only time she has ever done it. and she picked him up that day. and then when i got home, she acted like she wanted to do everything. now that she wanted to try and make me look bad. i actually asked to do the things, and she wouldnt let me.

i have a meeting in the morning with an attorney. she asked me a lot of the same questions about how involved i was in his life, and i explained to her the same things i have just written down, and she loved it. i hope it helps me along with other things that i have against her.

i know that the court can look at things in a really rough, cut and dry manner. but i sincerely feel like i would be a much better parent, and offer a much better life for him. Like i said, i want him to grow up in a nice neighborhood, not the Ghetto. and it is pretty bad! theres hardly no room there for them anyway. and her mother doesnt even know english, only spanish. same as her father. i have a nice big home for him to live in with his own bedroom, nice neighborhood, stability, etc etc.

also, today she came to get her things out of the house to leave. she said she had already spoken to an attorney. she put her attorney on the phone and tried to tell me that i could not see my son until i proved paternity. i informed him that my name was on the birth certificate. he tried to tell me it didnt matter.

my attorney said that basically this guy was an idiot. THEY need to prove that i am NOT the father before she can legally keep him away from me. i am on the birth certificate, which means i am the presumed father until proven otherwise.

lastly, she took EVERYTHING in my house that had anything to do with my son. pictures, all of his clothes, his crib, medicines, diapers, wipes, bottles, baby monitors, diaper pail, changing table, bottle warmers, diaper bags, lots of toys, etc. Now, some things were gifts from the baby shower, but on the other hand, probably 75 percent of the things that she took were items that either I purchased myself, my mom bought for me and him, or were given to me by co-workers. my attorney said she had no right to take all of those things. all the way down to the CURTAIN in his room. How Spiteful!!! even if i got the worst possible case scenario, which would be visitation, i still need things here to care for my child. i understand he needs some things right now until this is settled, and that is fine. i want him to be taken care of. BUT I need things here to care for my child as well! Now i have nothing!! She done it purely out of spite because she knows she can hurt me through him!

For the GAZILLIONTH TIME. Your pretty neighborhood DOES NOT MATTER.

You also need to understand that 99% of things mentioned in your last post do not paint an obvious picture. Why? Because you're talking from an emotional standpoint and that's not what you need. And your attorney needs to explain that while Mom can't technically keep him from you, until there's a court order you both still are equal - meaning there's not a darned thing you can do (as a practical measure) until a court order is ignored. And your attorney perhaps needs to explain to you that Mom's lack of English is absolutely meaningless - you were absolutely fine with things until very recently. You don't get to change your mind now.

Did you actually answer the question about who has the overnights? There's a reason I asked.

Well, as farad the over nights, we lived together for a year. But the whole time my son has been here, over 90% of the time,I was the one taking care of him at night, taking him to baby sitter during the day before work, picking him up before I go home, still taking care of him when I get home, giving him a bath, getting him to bed, etc. it was rare she done anything.

Given that you either cannot or will not answer, it would be better if you direct your questions and responses to your attorney.