Working Out Child Support Arrears

My question involves child support in the State of: Illinois

Hi,

I really screwed myself and know this is all my own fault. When I got divorced, I felt guilty and agreed to child support that was more than required. Nevertheless, I paid it dutifully for years until I lost my job. I know now that what I should have done is go back to court and try to modify my payments. However, I continued trying to pay even going into debt to do so. Finally, I could no longer keep up and started missing payments.

I should mention that my payments go directly to my ex and not through the court. In the meantime, I did get a job, but my earnings were considerably lower than what they were. I resumed payments, but could not afford the initial amount due to my significantly lower income. I know now that what I should have done is went back to court to get my payments modified. But my ex seemed reasonable at the time saying, "Just do what you can do". I thought we'd be able to work something out amicably. What a mistake!

Now my oldest is 20 and my youngest will be turning 18 this month. However, my ex has informed me that I owe her the FULL amount we agreed upon in our divorce decree. Something tells me she is on firm legal ground, since I never took her back to court to get the payments modified to commensurate with my actual income.

The problem is, I am now destitute. I'm 55 with no assets or earning power whatsoever beyond a minimum wage paying job (my payments were based on a reasonably good income when I owned a successful company). She, on the other hand, is very well off. She got the house when we divorced, which is now worth a significant amount. She is also married and has a substantial inheritance to fall back on.

I'd like to try and work out an arrangement with her so I can have some semblance of a life going forward. Do I have any recourse whatsoever? Or will I be paying her out of my social security checks (and possibly welfare checks) until the day I die? Again, I have nothing. I gave her all I could (and then some by going into debt) when I had it. Now I'm broke with no good job opportunities.

If I am screwed (and I think I am), I hope anyone in a similar situation learns from my experience. Don't try to be a hero. GO BACK TO COURT! I was too nice to take her back to court and it literally ruined my life. From what I understand, she can even demand full payments on both kids even though my oldest has been 18 for well over a year.

It seems unfathomable to me that a judge would make me pay based on a 6 figure a year income during times I was barely making minimum wage. He may as well say I should pay based on a $10,000,000.00 a year income. What's the difference? I can't possibly pay neither. I guess my question is this:

Cliffs:
Is there no lenience for not knowing my rights at the time and not taking her back to court when I should have?
What if an $8/hr. stock clerk agrees to pay his ex $100,000.00/mo. in child support and fails to do so and his ex says it's ok, he can owe it to her? Will a judge still determine that he's liable for the full $15M when his kids turn 18 even though he's living in a cardboard box under a bridge?

As you said yourself, you should have returned to court when your financial circumstances changed.

If the court order says you owe and you didn't pay, you still owe.

Thanks, but I just want to make sure my question was clear...

Are you saying that there is no such thing as an unreasonable agreement or recourse due to ignorance (either of the law or means to pay)?

So if a crafty divorce attorney can get someone to agree to pay $100,000.00 per month on a $15k per year income without any other assets, a judge wouldn't rule that as being an unreasonable agreement?

Is there really no common sense when it comes to law? If someone is unaware of their rights, they can unwittingly obligate themselves to something they cannot possibly ever hope to repay?

Surely there must be some grounds I can fight this on. Even if I have to make the case that I was not of sound mind or was mentally incapacitated.

Going forward, what if I simply cannot afford to pay? Do I just spend the rest of my life in jail and my ex gets whatever the state pays me for being incarcerated?

Quote:

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Quoting notabaddad

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Thanks, but I just want to make sure my question was clear...

Are you saying that there is no such thing as an unreasonable agreement or recourse due to ignorance (either of the law or means to pay)?

So if a crafty divorce attorney can get someone to agree to pay $100,000.00 per month on a $15k per year income without any other assets, a judge wouldn't rule that as being an unreasonable agreement?

Is there really no common sense when it comes to law? If someone is unaware of their rights, they can unwittingly obligate themselves to something they cannot possibly ever hope to repay?

Surely there must be some grounds I can fight this on. Even if I have to make the case that I was not of sound mind or was mentally incapacitated.

Going forward, what if I simply cannot afford to pay? Do I just spend the rest of my life in jail and my ex gets whatever the state pays me for being incarcerated?

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Yes. See Mortgage Crisis 2008-Present. See also: Credit card debt. And student loan debt. However, your debt cannot be discharged by bankruptcy.

Thanks again. If true, I think it's a travesty. Even in your examples there are limits (and for good reason) as to what mortgage and credit companies can reasonably expect as payment. For example, they cannot charge 594% interest even if someone agrees to it. There are consumer protection laws to protect the gullible and/or delusional. And that's my point...

You are basically saying there is no similar protection for divorce cases in agreements typically made under emotional duress. That no change however significant, could ever cause a judge to apply rational common sense to individual cases.

Maybe I've found a new calling and will become an advocate of father's rights. This particular divorce law seem absurd to me.

I do appreciate you taking the time to respond. Thanks.