Exclusive Right Concerning Education

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TX

I am mom and dad has physical custody and I have visitation. Not really standard but current arrangement is Thursday during weekday and 1st, 2nd, and 4th weekends of the month. At this time I don't exercise my Thursdays due to work but I pick up for all other visits. Our son will be entering High School this year. Our order states that Dad has:

"the exclusive right to make decisions concerning the child's education;"

I wanted clarification on this. Our son is in football and he has certain scrimmages that fall on my time. I don't feel that I should have to take him as it is my time with our son. Dad is stating that this is his physical education high school credit and his attendance is necessary whether he plays or not in order for him to pass this class. Legally can he make me take him. He is basically stating that I will be in contempt however this is my time with him. I live about 45 minutes from the school its a drive for me to go pick him up on Friday and then have to turn around and travel again to where ever they decide to hold the game.

Advice?

I'd suggest allowing Junior to participate in his activities and YOU figure out how to make it work (going to watch the scrimmages/etc; grabbing a quick soda/burger locally while waiting for the Friday game).

Consider this: What (at this point in his life) is in Junior's best interests? Is Dad also not giving up time because of Junior's activities?

I work most Saturdays and I shouldn't have to quit my job to accommodate a sport his father has put him in. I cant afford to drive back and fourth. I guess my question is legally am I required to take him? Could I be found in contempt?

You would NOT be in contempt for not taking your son to Saturday football practice.

But this is not just on YOU to figure out how to better enable your son to practice, but also on DAD. One option is for dad to pick him up from your place and drop him off at practice, and you pick him up. This way ensures your son returns to you on time. But how committed you as parents are to this over the long run should be more dependent on how committed your son is to football at the high school level.

So your response is for Junior to forego all activities so that you are not inconvenienced at all?

Whether or not a judge will hold you in contempt is questionable. It's a decent argument that since football is counting for his P.E. credit, you are required to take him.

But either way, I'd bet money that if you brought this before the court, or forced dad to, the judge would nail you to the wall.

Rather than fight it (and you WILL lose, in a courtroom AND in your relationship with your son), why not try to work it out with dad?

Maybe in your state, but not in Texas. A non-custodial parent is highly unlikely to get "nailed to the wall", or "will lose", much less found in contempt for not taking their child to Saturday football classes the CP scheduled on the NCP's time who does not live in the same area.

Mom should propose splitting the 45 mile commute each way with dad, which is both reasonable and a good CYA offer. The travel equates to a 90 mile trip for each or possibly 180 miles for mom alone. If dad balks tell him to pound sand.

If the father is stupid enough to file a contempt action and take mom to court over an issue he created and is unwilling to meet halfway on, that may be interesting to see. A contempt filing deemed frivolous in Texas family court may result in dad footing mom's attorney fee.

From a practical parenting POV: while I'm sure that Tex is correct re: the law, how important is this to your son? The kid is in high school now, and if he made the team and wants to play, he has to attend practice. If you take that away from him, you'll be doing both of you a great disservice.

I say this as a parent with a kid who has been in band since the 5th grade. Since he started high school it's been crazy. There have been days when I have literally made 6 trips a day to the school, and on Friday nights when they have a home game? Pfffft. Sometimes I'll automatically turn into the school when I'm going somewhere else out of habit. We've put hundreds of miles on our car during marching season and have traveled out of state for competitions. We do this for our kid. And yeah, after freshman year he got P.E. Credit for it - mandatory 12 hour day practices for two weeks straight during the summer and 9 hour practices on Saturdays that they don't compete. And it IS graded.

If gas money is an issue, talk to dad. But if you deny your son this opportunity, you'll be destroying your relationship with him.

Just some non-legal, practical parenting food for thought. I hope you can find a way to make it work.

My son is in FIRST Robotics. We have traveled to competitions in St Louis (World Finals) and regional matches (Albany, Washington DC, Cincinnati etc...) I do not always go being disabled,I don't travel well, but my wife does and we pay all the expenses. That does not include team fundraisers and charity work my son also goes to. To attend the World Finals, I laid in the back of a minivan with the seats removed for over 18 hours to attend. You have an issue that cannot be worked out for Saturdays during football season.

I don't think asking Dad to help with driving is going to help. I moved to out of state 6 years ago about 6 months after he was awarded custody. I had decided to marry my current husband and he is in the military so I went wherever they sent him. I just moved back about a year ago because Dad was trying to remove residency restrictions because he was looking for a home outside of the area they were restricted to. I fought him on this in court and the judge basically either I move back to Tx or he would lift the restriction. Dad's point of view is that at that point I should have chosen to live closer to them so that none of this would be an issue. His argument is that while I was away he enrolled our son in football and this had never been an issue. He is stating that I created the distance not him.

Quote:

---

Quoting tex11

---

Maybe in your state, but not in Texas. A non-custodial parent is highly unlikely to get "nailed to the wall", or "will lose", much less found in contempt for not taking their child to Saturday football classes the CP scheduled on the NCP's time who does not live in the same area.

Mom should propose splitting the 45 mile commute each way with dad, which is both reasonable and a good CYA offer. The travel equates to a 90 mile trip for each or possibly 180 miles for mom alone. If dad balks tell him to pound sand.

If the father is stupid enough to file a contempt action and take mom to court over an issue he created and is unwilling to meet halfway on, that may be interesting to see. A contempt filing deemed frivolous in Texas family court may result in dad footing mom's attorney fee.

---

I said whether or not she would be found in contempt is questionable. Certainly not a sure thing. Though not impossible either. But I do think it's a safe bet to say mom's not going to get it the way that she wants. Both in court and in their relationship. This is required. And it's part of juniors grade.

Which is why I suggested that she work it out with dad. Which includes all of the transportation details you mentioned.