How to Stop a Stepparent Adoption

My question involves adoption law for the State of: Virginia

Hello everyone I really need some advice. First off I have seen some nasty comments on here I don't want any of that I am looking for solid advice.

I have just received a petition for step parent adoption. My daughters mother just married and they have petitioned the courts to adopt my child. I'm going to give you the full details and I am looking advice on how to stop it.

When the mother was in her first trimester, I attacked her father in their home and then told her to watch her back. I know I shouldn't have done it and I regret it now.
After the attack, she got a restraining order on me for 9 months.
Due to the restraining order I was unable to be there for the birth of our daughter.
I hate to admit this, but even after the restraining order expired I did not go to her mother's house looking to see or spend time with our child. I never sent any letters or money in the mail. This was in 2009.
In 2011, I messaged the mother on facebook begging to see our child. She told me that due to my violence I would have to bring a police officer to her house to ensure her safety or petition the courts. I didn't want to do either. I was hoping she would let me see the child without going to court.
Years went by and when I finally did petition the courts in 2013 she had moved and I could not locate her address to have her served. She had me blocked on Facebook so I couldn't contact her and she changed her number frequently so I couldn't call her either. Then after extensive searching I finally found her address. I wanted to her I found her so I went to her house overnight and wrote my last name on the childs carseat. She took out another restraining order on me a couple weeks ago because of this incident. I still have never met my child and she is 5 years old. She told the judge she was scared I would attack her. The child is also on the protective order so now I am legally not to have contact with her. The petition for adoption came 2 weeks after the restraining order was granted by the judge. I plan on contesting the adoption in court. I know I will be appointed a lawyer and I'm hoping my lawyer and I can argue that I didn't know where to find her so I was unable to petition for visitation. But im afrid she will show the judge what i did to her carseat and i wont have much credibility. She is filing it under abandonment, which apparently states that abandonment is failing to maintain contact with the child 6 months prior to filing the petition. I really need help on ways to fight this adoption. I do want to be a part of my daughters life. I really do. Any real advice would be helpful.

You've done just about EVERYTHING wrong, and little or nothing RIGHT. Your actions would cause a reasonable person to be afraid of you, which is why mom has been able to keep getting restraining orders against you, and will likely continue to be able to do so. The only thing working against mom is that she hasn't been married very long. Courts like to see evidence of stability within a family unit before granting an adoption, however, with the alternative being you as the child's legal parent, given your history of ZERO contact with the child PLUS your threatening and rather creepy act of putting your last name on the child's car seat, it's entirely possible that the court may find it in the child's best interest to cut you out of the picture completely as soon as humanly possible. If you're going to have ANY possible chance to fight this (and realistically, you don't), then it's going to come at the hands of a VERY well versed and aggressive attorney. If you're going to count on the court to appoint you counsel and think that counsel will fight tooth and nail for you, don't count on good results. If you're not even going to retain your own attorney, I wouldn't be counting on seeing your child in any lawful context until the child is 18.

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Quoting aardvarc

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You've done just about EVERYTHING wrong, and little or nothing RIGHT. Your actions would cause a reasonable person to be afraid of you, which is why mom has been able to keep getting restraining orders against you, and will likely continue to be able to do so. The only thing working against mom is that she hasn't been married very long. Courts like to see evidence of stability within a family unit before granting an adoption, however, with the alternative being you as the child's legal parent, given your history of ZERO contact with the child PLUS your threatening and rather creepy act of putting your last name on the child's car seat, it's entirely possible that the court may find it in the child's best interest to cut you out of the picture completely as soon as humanly possible. If you're going to have ANY possible chance to fight this (and realistically, you don't), then it's going to come at the hands of a VERY well versed and aggressive attorney. If you're going to count on the court to appoint you counsel and think that counsel will fight tooth and nail for you, don't count on good results. If you're not even going to retain your own attorney, I wouldn't be counting on seeing your child in any lawful context until the child is 18.

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My father even tried to reach out to the mother on facebook. But she was very nasty to him. When she and I were together I used to tell her storied of how he abused my mom. When he reached out he was very polite to her and she responded by telling him that he had raised a monster and that she wanted nothing to do with him or the family (us). The my dad called her a bitch. We might bring her messages to court as well but my dad name calling also we think will hurt our case. Can our attorney possibly argue she was withholding the child from having a relationship with her paternal grandparents and stop the adoption that way?

The more you post, the more screwed you appear to be. I have to agree that your chances of stopping this are slim and none and slim just boarded a train outta town with a singing fat lady.

Get a lawyer, a really good one, and listen to them.

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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My father even tried to reach out to the mother on facebook. But she was very nasty to him. When she and I were together I used to tell her storied of how he abused my mom. When he reached out he was very polite to her and she responded by telling him that he had raised a monster and that she wanted nothing to do with him or the family (us). The my dad called her a bitch. We might bring her messages to court as well but my dad name calling also we think will hurt our case.

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If it's possible to hurt your case any further than it already is, yes.

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Can our attorney possibly argue she was withholding the child from having a relationship with her paternal grandparents and stop the adoption that way?

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Your attorney can argue anything you wish them to argue. Many attorneys will argue even the most absurd of things for their clients until one of two things happens: either (a) you run out of money to pay them to argue for you, or (b) the court gets fed up listening to desperate grasps at straws and rules on the case, ending the matter.

Grandparents have no inherent rights regarding grandchildren.

Before I go further - and oh, I will go further - why is it in the child's best interest to have this adoption blocked?

I'll wait.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Before I go further - and oh, I will go further - why is it in the child's best interest to have this adoption blocked?

I'll wait.

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this is all too heartbreaking.
In response to all of you, the stepfather wishing to adopt was present at the birth of the child and has been there for her ever since as stated in the petition. So even if they just got married, they have been stable this whole time.
I did try and find a lawyer. I have no money not even a car to meet with a lawyer that's why I was hoping to have one appointed.
The lawyers that consulted me over the phone were not helpful. One of them said they wouldn't even take my case even if I had money and they other one told me it would be tough and basically said I should sign the adoption papers over.
I just never imagined all of this would happen. I really want to fight it because I need my daughter in my life but really it looks like I don't have a chance. I don't know what to do or how to feel and I thought there would be other father's who could help but everyone is saying the same thing. That is isn't in the best interest of the child.

Yes it is in the best interests of the child for you to sign those papers. :victorious:

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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this is all too heartbreaking.
In response to all of you, the stepfather wishing to adopt was present at the birth of the child and has been there for her ever since as stated in the petition. So even if they just got married, they have been stable this whole time.
I did try and find a lawyer. I have no money not even a car to meet with a lawyer that's why I was hoping to have one appointed.
The lawyers that consulted me over the phone were not helpful. One of them said they wouldn't even take my case even if I had money and they other one told me it would be tough and basically said I should sign the adoption papers over.
I just never imagined all of this would happen. I really want to fight it because I need my daughter in my life but really it looks like I don't have a chance. I don't know what to do or how to feel and I thought there would be other father's who could help but everyone is saying the same thing. That is isn't in the best interest of the child.

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That's the point though - it's about what's best for the child, not you. In this situation, what you want counts for zero - you've had 5 years to turn things around. Five. Years. You even went as far as suggesting that you can "use" your parents to block things. That you would even consider this disturbs me.

Ordinarily I'm one of the first to support an absent parent's attempt to reenter the child's life...but in this case, I just can't see it being in the child's best interest. At all. Even if.

They won't appoint an attorney btw - this isn't a criminal case, and this isn't the state wishing to terminate your rights.

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Afterthought: the writing style has changed just a tad - you sure you're not Mom or soon-to-be-Dad testing the waters?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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That's the point though - it's about what's best for the child, not you. In this situation, what you want counts for zero - you've had 5 years to turn things around. Five. Years. You even went as far as suggesting that you can "use" your parents to block things. That you would even consider this disturbs me.

Ordinarily I'm one of the first to support an absent parent's attempt to reenter the child's life...but in this case, I just can't see it being in the child's best interest. At all. Even if.

They won't appoint an attorney btw - this isn't a criminal case, and this isn't the state wishing to terminate your rights.

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Afterthought: the writing style has changed just a tad - you sure you're not Mom or soon-to-be-Dad testing the waters?

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The mother of my child did tell me she was considering abortion. Is this something I could use against her?
No its me I'm the biological father. I called another lawyer who said we could try to fight the case claiming that the mother did not cooperate when I asked her if I could see the child so maybe this will help my case, because I did ask her on Facebook multiple times but she denied me and then stopped answering my messages alltogether. I just don't know what to do. I want to fight I really want to see my daughter I want to be a part of her life I always have I asked her mom so many times to let me see her and I proof of that in her face book messages.

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at this point I will literally do anything and everything I can do to stop this I will try and take out a loan I will pay a taxi to meet up with the lawyer or ask my friends to drive me. I just need help. The lawyer said we could try and fight it but he said it was going to be tough. I wish I would have done everything differently. Does anyone here know what would happen if I went to file for custody right now? I have been reading all day long and everything I read said that a judge will see right through that and wonder why all of a sudden I am trying now. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to make this right. I also have witnesses to bring to court who have seen me around children who could testify that I would be a great dad. I want to make all of this right I am going crazy.

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I am still worried that the judge might still thing that is in the best interest of the child for her to be with the family that she has had all these years and that scares me to death. Any other fathers out there who have personally dealt with a step parent adoption?

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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The mother of my child did tell me she was considering abortion. Is this something I could use against her?

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No. There you go, thinking about the child again.

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No its me I'm the biological father. I called another lawyer who said we could try to fight the case claiming that the mother did not cooperate when I asked her if I could see the child so maybe this will help my case, because I did ask her on Facebook multiple times but she denied me and then stopped answering my messages alltogether. I just don't know what to do. I want to fight I really want to see my daughter I want to be a part of her life I always have I asked her mom so many times to let me see her and I proof of that in her face book messages.

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And how many times did you try to see your child? As in...file something in court?

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at this point I will literally do anything and everything I can do to stop this I will try and take out a loan I will pay a taxi to meet up with the lawyer or ask my friends to drive me. I just need help. The lawyer said we could try and fight it but he said it was going to be tough. I wish I would have done everything differently. Does anyone here know what would happen if I went to file for custody right now? I have been reading all day long and everything I read said that a judge will see right through that and wonder why all of a sudden I am trying now.

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I've got more chance of getting custody than you.

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I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to make this right. I also have witnesses to bring to court who have seen me around children who could testify that I would be a great dad. I want to make all of this right I am going crazy.

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None of that matters.

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I am still worried that the judge might still thing that is in the best interest of the child for her to be with the family that she has had all these years and that scares me to death. Any other fathers out there who have personally dealt with a step parent adoption?

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Why is the child's best interest not important to you?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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No. There you go, thinking about the child again.



And how many times did you try to see your child? As in...file something in court?



I've got more chance of getting custody than you.



None of that matters.



Why is the child's best interest not important to you?

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I really can be an awesome father. I feel like it would be good for her to meet her real father. I can teach her all kinds of things and love her. Kids can never have too much love.
Like I said I didn't try file in court until she was 4. I tried for years to get the mom to let me see her on facebook. I even offered to go to mediation but she had stopped answering me by then. I tried to give her gifts for xmas 2011 but she refused saying she was scared I would attack her. Why would I attack her when I'm trying to give her gifts? I asked if I could give them to her via 3rd party but she said she didn't feel comfortable with me around her friends she was worried I would attack them. She used my violence against me in every situation. Then the petition said I never mailed the child any gifts or letters. So apparently I screwed up by not mailing gifts.
My lawyer said we can try and fight it saying she didn't cooperate even when I offered to go to mediation but he said that since I never filed....
He also said a judge could maybe give me a chance and put me on child support/visitation but with a 2 year protective order the chances are slim. I just don't know what to do. The only thing I have against her if I contest this thing is our Facebook messages and the fact that she blocked me online trying to avoid me. I would gladly pay child support if it meant I could finally meet her.

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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I really can be an awesome father.

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In the court's eyes, that's irrelevant.

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I feel like it would be good for her to meet her real father. I can teach her all kinds of things and love her. Kids can never have too much love.
Like I said I didn't try file in court until she was 4. I tried for years to get the mom to let me see her on facebook. I even offered to go to mediation but she had stopped answering me by then. I tried to give her gifts for xmas 2011 but she refused saying she was scared I would attack her. Why would I attack her when I'm trying to give her gifts? I asked if I could give them to her via 3rd party but she said she didn't feel comfortable with me around her friends she was worried I would attack them. She used my violence against me in every situation. Then the petition said I never mailed the child any gifts or letters. So apparently I screwed up by not mailing gifts.
My lawyer said we can try and fight it saying she didn't cooperate even when I offered to go to mediation but he said that since I never filed....
He also said a judge could maybe give me a chance and put me on child support/visitation but with a 2 year protective order the chances are slim. I just don't know what to do. The only thing I have against her if I contest this thing is our Facebook messages and the fact that she blocked me online trying to avoid me. I would gladly pay child support if it meant I could finally meet her.

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The last sentence really does summarize your stance.

Facebook messages? Not a big deal. You not fighting to establish paternity, child support and visitation? Huge deal.

Well even though it's not what I want to hear. I appreciate you not downright trash talking me like I have seen on other threads.
Honestly it NEVER occurred to me that they could even do a step parent adoption. We were just in court for the protective order (July 17) and she still had her regular last name. Then literally 2 weeks later I get a petition saying they are married and that he has been raising get the child her whole life. The whole thing came as a huge shock to me and I just couldn't stop crying because I failed my daughter. I basically gave her away. But I still think I'm going to fight. Hopefully I can come up with the money to retain this attorney but he said it would be couple thousand dollars minimum because step parent adoptions are very complex. I really don't even know how the mother and her husband can afford their attorney. Thank you all for your feedback even though it's very depressing.

Has paternity even been established?

I think the most telling line in this whole series of posts was the lawyer telling you that even if you could afford him he wouldn't take the case.

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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The mother of my child did tell me she was considering abortion. Is this something I could use against her?

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Nope.

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No its me I'm the biological father. I called another lawyer who said we could try to fight the case claiming that the mother did not cooperate when I asked her if I could see the child so maybe this will help my case, because I did ask her on Facebook multiple times but she denied me and then stopped answering my messages alltogether. I just don't know what to do.

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You get a time machine and do the ONE thing that would have ever made a difference: you get up off your ass and off the computer and drag your ass down to the courthouse and bring a custody case within the five YEARS of your child's life that has already passed you by. No judge gives a hoot what you and mom discussed on FaceBook, or via ANY other means. What COUNTS in legal arenas is what happens in COURTROOMS, which you never bothered to attempt until now. Do you really think judges are THAT stupid?

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I want to fight I really want to see my daughter I want to be a part of her life I always have I asked her mom so many times to let me see her and I proof of that in her face book messages.

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But apparantly didn't ever want it enough to do what you needed to do to bring a custody/visitation case. Now, the reality you're facing, is that it's gonna be way too little, and way too late. This child doesn't even know who you are.

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at this point I will literally do anything and everything I can do to stop this I will try and take out a loan I will pay a taxi to meet up with the lawyer or ask my friends to drive me. I just need help.

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What you need is a time machine and a heavy dose of reality.

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The lawyer said we could try and fight it but he said it was going to be tough. I wish I would have done everything differently. Does anyone here know what would happen if I went to file for custody right now?

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The judge would pee on themselves from laughing so hard. Seriously, you have less than a ZERO percent chance of custody. You've never even been in the same ROOM with this child in 5 years. You're a total stranger. Do you honestly think any court is going to tear a child away from the only family they've ever known and throw the child into the home of a total stranger? You seriously misunderstand how courts view family matters like this. They view the situation thru the CHILD'S eyes. And to the child, you might as well be the boogy man.

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I have been reading all day long and everything I read said that a judge will see right through that and wonder why all of a sudden I am trying now.

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Ya think?

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I don't know.

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Uh, yes.

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I don't know what to do.

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All you can do is listen to your attorney. Sadly, they're not likely to have anything to say that is going to be good news for you.

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I want to make this right.

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You can't always get what you want. This is likely to be one of those times.

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I also have witnesses to bring to court who have seen me around children who could testify that I would be a great dad.

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Means nothing. A great dad wouldn't have been absent for the first FIVE YEARS of his child's life and would have gone BEYOND simply pestering mom on FaceBook about it. It wouldn't matter if you had 20 other children that you had been a great dad to - the court only cares about your relationship with THIS child...and that relationship is ZERO.

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I want to make all of this right I am going crazy.

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Talk to your physician and seek a referal for therapy.

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I am still worried that the judge might still thing that is in the best interest of the child for her to be with the family that she has had all these years

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That's pretty much what you can count on, yes.

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and that scares me to death.

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Sorry, but that IS the reality that your complete lack of legal action has precipitated.

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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I really don't even know how the mother and her husband can afford their attorney.

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Because their end of the case isn't difficult. They've apparantly been functioning as a family for quite some time, and now that they've officially married, there's really nothing standing in their way, since there is NO relationship between the child and you that has to be severed, or even considered. If you'd been an active part of her life before now, they'd have a VERY difficult time getting this adoption to go through, but since that's not an issue here, their attorney really just has to draft and file the motion and then convince the court which parenting situation is best for the child (which should be an argument shorter than the first page of this thread).

The attorney who wasn't prepared to take your money was being kind and above board with you. When attorneys won't take your money on a case, it's because even with their keenest imagination, they don't think they can win. You're certainly free to keep attorney shopping, and it's really the only shot you have (but again, reality....)

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I think the most telling line in this whole series of posts was the lawyer telling you that even if you could afford him he wouldn't take the case.

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That really DOES give a pretty clear picture of the situation.

I keep seeing so much about Dad, yet so little as to the best interests of the actual child involved.

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Quoting aardvarc

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The attorney who wasn't prepared to take your money was being kind and above board with you. When attorneys won't take your money on a case, it's because even with their keenest imagination, they don't think they can win.

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I think this is a very important point, too.

No. She knows I'm the father but never put me on the BC. I never filed a motion to establish paternity. She never put me on child support and she never applied for government assistance which are 2 most common ways of having paternity established. Only papers that say I'm the father is the 'child in common' listed on the protective order

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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No. She knows I'm the father but never put me on the BC. I never filed a motion to establish paternity. She never put me on child support and she never applied for government assistance which are 2 most common ways of having paternity established. Only papers that say I'm the father is the 'child in common' listed on the protective order

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Do you realize that she could have gone ahead without even contacting you?

All it would have taken would be "No, honestly, no idea who bio is", and that would be that.

But because she's evidently a good person as well as a great parent, she decided to at least let you know. Now, exactly what are you going to tell the court when you're asked about the child's best interest?

That's probably moot anyway. You meet the abandonment statute in spades.

I'm doing ti try to disprove the abandonment statute by saying that I was unable to contact her those 6 months prior to filing. If she shows them what I did to the car seat then I think I'm going to try to say I only recently figured our where they lived which is true they only recently moved to a new county last year. But I'm afraid she might bring up her google+ account she had it public with her full name and current photo she might tell the judge I could have contacted her there to see the child.

I suppose this question is moot, too, but here goes nothing.

What's in the best interest of the child?

Not you - the court honestly doesn't give a crap about you - but the child.

Judge: During the past 5 years, how often did you file to establish paternity and a parenting plan?

Your answer will be....what again?

So you're saying I should just content and give up all rights to my child?
I did read that if somehow I get past abandonment and with old consent the judge could still rule against me bc of best interest of the child.
I do have a bit of hope because one of the lawyers said judges really don't like to terminate parental rights against our wishes. They said it's like the death penalty of family law

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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So you're saying I should just content and give up all rights to my child?
I did read that if somehow I get past abandonment and with old consent the judge could still rule against me bc of best interest of the child.
I do have a bit of hope because one of the lawyers said judges really don't like to terminate parental rights against our wishes. They said it's like the death penalty of family law

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Epic fail.

Dude...you could have filed a motion to establish paternity the day after the child was born. Do you have any idea how many fathers do this to establish themselves as the legal father? You aren't just a stranger to this child, you're a legal stranger to the child. The child who is now 5 years old, doesn't know anyone as her dad other than the man who has been her dad her whole life, and you expect the court to upend her whole life based on your wants and needs? It doesn't work that way. And quite frankly, the behavior you've exhibited scares the hell out of ME. I can't even begin to imagine how mom feels.

BTW, you're wrong when you say the most common means of establishing paternity involve an action for child support or request for state aid. Was it all about the money? Because that's how it looks from here.

Filing to establish paternity brings with it rights and responsibilities. The right to visitation (although that may have been denied based on what you've posted, except possibly supervised visitation) and the responsibility to care for your kid by helping support her. Gifts every so often ain't support.

You've completely abandoned this child from day one. Spray painting your last name on her car seat (that actually made me shudder) is tantamount to peeing on her leg to establish your dominance over her and it's a freaky thing to do.

Do you want to hear any of this? Probably not. Going for custody when you haven't established paternity? After 5 years? You'll be lucky to walk out of the court without having to pay mom's attorney fees. That's preposterous.

I'm sure you can find some hack out there who is more than willing to take your money to fight this and while nobody here has a crystal ball, this is one situation where I feel totally comfortable predicting that you're going to have your ass handed to you.

You NEED her? That's great for you, but the true question is, does this little child NEED you? No. Because by your actions, and your actions alone, she already has a daddy.

I contacted some online attorney that said if I pay 825 dollars they would give me all the necessary paperwork to file to be able to contest the adoption without a lawyer. Not sure how legit that is. They also told me to file a motion to establish paternity/visitation but with the protective order...
Then I called 2 more attorneys one said I have less of a chance than another case he's working where the father was in prison. I really am at a loss. I've called everyone. Literally everyone.

You need to gracefully sign the papers, knowing that Girl-Child is going to be better off without you.

Sometimes the answer is no.

Sue the person who told you that life would always be fair and you would always get everything you want.

Seriously, man. Based just on what you've told us about yourself, that little girl is MUCH better off without you in her life.

It's not about what you want. It's about what's best for her.

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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i contacted some online attorney that said if i pay 825 dollars they would give me all the necessary paperwork to file to be able to contest the adoption without a lawyer. Not sure how legit that is. They also told me to file a motion to establish paternity/visitation but with the protective order...
Then i called 2 more attorneys one said i have less of a chance than another case he's working where the father was in prison. I really am at a loss. I've called everyone. Literally everyone.

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For the love of....

answer the damn question.

My answer would be that I didn't know where she lived to file for custody.
But I'm afraid that won't fly. There are too many of her friends who were there when I was at her mom's house and knowing her she will probably bring them to testify that. Her favorite thing is photography so she might even have photos of me at that house too.. but really though I only recently found out where she was. She moved while I was locked up for 8 months and I had a hard time finding her when I was released

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I can prove she was blocking me on social media though avoiding me. I'm hoping that gives me some kind of chance

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How would you feel if you were in my spot right now? I'm about to have my daughter ripped away from me legally. How would you feel?

My answer would be that I didn't know where she lived to file for custody.
But I'm afraid that won't fly.

You're quite right - it won't. And that does NOT answer the question of why it would be in the child's best interest for you to block the adoption.

I can prove she was blocking me on social media though avoiding me. I'm hoping that gives me some kind of chance

After you committed violence and the rather creepy action of spray painting the car seat? No, that's not going to give you any kind of chance.

How would you feel if you were in my spot right now? I'm about to have my daughter ripped away from me legally. How would you feel?

You aren't having your daughter ripped from you. You've never seen her. You don't have her to begin with.

Do you really think anyone here believes you care one rip (word used deliberately) about that child?

From all the people I've called today and yesterday some of them said that since I am the bio dad a judge could deny the petition and grant me visitation but the protective order would first have to be modified in a separate hearing still they said that is likely but not very likely. I think it would be in her best interest to have a relationship with BOTH of her dads.

I see a man desperate to keep some kind of control over Mom, no matter that he's not EVER made one motion to legally claim this child.

Do the child a favor and sign the paperwork.

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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From all the people I've called today and yesterday some of them said that since I am the bio dad a judge could deny the petition and grant me visitation but the protective order would first have to be modified in a separate hearing still they said that is likely but not very likely. I think it would be in her best interest to have a relationship with BOTH of her dads.

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Then off you go to court then.

Interestingly, there is enough case-law supporting Mom in this case that it would take a minor miracle and a LOT of money to even stand a chance at blocking this adoption.

I assume you've explained to all of these attorneys that you are not, actually, the legal father of the child....correct?

Traditionally I've been one of the posters regularly accused of being too pro-Dad. Well, my reputation stands tall and proud. Given that you're not Dad.

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Quoting BooRennie

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I see a man desperate to keep some kind of control over Mom, no matter that he's not EVER made one motion to legally claim this child.

Do the child a favor and sign the paperwork.

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I know it doesn't need to be repeated, but he cares as much about this child as he does the mosquito who has just died at my hands.

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Then again... Mom will immediately file for child support, visitation will take place under supervision at his cost and he'll be expected to treat that child with kid gloves.

We can certainly help Mom!

I did explain that I've established no legal relationship to the child that's why the lawyers said my chances are slim. They also warned me about child support and some of them said she could get nasty and go for back child support but idk how true that is.
Even the father's rights people said it's nearly impossible :(

You've now been told by several lawyers that your chances here are slim to none.

A protective order wouldn't have prevented you from filing a paternity action way back when. As for claiming you couldn't find her, that bit grinds me personally, because I can find anyone, anywhere, any time I feel like it. There's no such thing as privacy on the Internet.

You're screwed, you put yourself in this position, both by your actions and inaction.

I'm usually very pro-dad, but given the conduct to which you've admitted, combined with the conduct I'm positive you haven't mentioned here, I'd venture to say that a snowball stands a better chance in hell than you have in this case.

You certainly haven't acted as if she's the most important person in your life. Do this little girl a favor - back out gracefully and let her have the joy and happiness she deserves. And next time, don't act like a kook and be there for your kid. And if things don't work out with mom, leave her alone except to talk about issues relating to the child.

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Quoting EA1070a

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You've now been told by several lawyers that your chances here are slim to none.

A protective order wouldn't have prevented you from filing a paternity action way back when. As for claiming you couldn't find her, that bit grinds me personally, because I can find anyone, anywhere, any time I feel like it. There's no such thing as privacy on the Internet.

You're screwed, you put yourself in this position, both by your actions and inaction.

I'm usually very pro-dad, but given the conduct to which you've admitted, combined with the conduct I'm positive you haven't mentioned here, I'd venture to say that a snowball stands a better chance in hell than you have in this case.

You certainly haven't acted as if she's the most important person in your life. Do this little girl a favor - back out gracefully and let her have the joy and happiness she deserves. And next time, don't act like a kook and be there for your kid. And if things don't work out with mom, leave her alone except to talk about issues relating to the child.

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Bless you. My response would have been a gazillion times less polite

I have 21 days to contest this thing or show up to court to contest/consent. Don't know what I'm going to do yet. I know you people probably are getting a kick out of my predicament but I'm stressed beyond words. We'll see how it goes down

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Quoting dadofanangel09

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I have 21 days to contest this thing or show up to court to contest/consent. Don't know what I'm going to do yet. I know you people probably are getting a kick out of my predicament but I'm stressed beyond words. We'll see how it goes down

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No, you prune. We're not getting a kick out of anything. I can safely say that every single poster is more concerned about the child than you appear to be.

Also not worried cause we have a pretty good idea how the judge will respond and why.

I just filed a petition to establish paternity and get custody/visitation but the hearing isn't until November, well after the first adoption hearing. I have no idea how this is going to go.