Can I Compel My Ex-Spouse to Make the Kids Wear Life Jackets on Boats
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Mississippi
My ex-husband and I have three children together. I have full physical and legal custody.
On visitations, my ex-husband has been taking the kids out on his new in-laws boat. Sounds fun, and I'm all for that. However, pictures of our kids on the boat have recently been posted online. These pictures show our kids on a moving boat with no life jackets on. The kids shown are 12 and 7. I looked up the law in this state, and considering their ages and the boat sizes, this is illegal. It's illegal because it's unsafe.
Is there anything I can do to stop him from doing this again? Our relationship is high conflict...simply talking to him will get me exactly nowhere unfortunately.
Thank you for your time and consideration in answering my question.
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
Check out the actual requirements here: http://www.boatus.org/life-jacket-lo...quirements.asp
Is it possible for you to buy the life jackets and send them with the kids next time?
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
Yeah I did check the law, and it is illegal.
The problem is not that he doesn't have life jackets for them. He does. My ex just isn't making them wear them.
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
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reb77
Is there anything I can do to stop him from doing this again?
Realistically? No. Law enforcement can't and won't cite him based on photographic evidence (officers must witness the infraction themselves). That means the only other external intervention can come from the court. While a judge might not be pleased with dad's lack of boating safety, this isn't going to cause the court to terminate dad's visitation either. So let's say for the sake of argument that you take dad to court, and the judge shakes their finger at dad and tells him to make the kids wear the life jackets. Do you think it's more likely that he'll change his ways, or that he'll simply stop posting pictures of the kids not wearing their life jackets? What's wrong with your 12 year old that they can't follow YOUR direction to wear their life jacket? (Where 12 year olds go, 7 year olds often follow, yanno.)
If you happen to know when dad is taking them boating, you can also contact your local boating enforcement crew (usually via your state's fish and wildlife office, or in some places, via the sheriff's office) and let them know your concerns so that if the vessel is seen a boating safety check might be performed, resulting in whomever is operating the vessel getting a nasty fine (the LEGAL responsiblity for minors to wear life jackets on the boat is on the OPERATOR of the vessel and THAT is who the court looks to for liability).
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
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Quoting
aardvarc
Realistically? No. Law enforcement can't and won't cite him based on photographic evidence (officers must witness the infraction themselves). That means the only other external intervention can come from the court. While a judge might not be pleased with dad's lack of boating safety, this isn't going to cause the court to terminate dad's visitation either. So let's say for the sake of argument that you take dad to court, and the judge shakes their finger at dad and tells him to make the kids wear the life jackets. Do you think it's more likely that he'll change his ways, or that he'll simply stop posting pictures of the kids not wearing their life jackets? What's wrong with your 12 year old that they can't follow YOUR direction to wear their life jacket? (Where 12 year olds go, 7 year olds often follow, yanno.)
If you happen to know when dad is taking them boating, you can also contact your local boating enforcement crew (usually via your state's fish and wildlife office, or in some places, via the sheriff's office) and let them know your concerns so that if the vessel is seen a boating safety check might be performed, resulting in whomever is operating the vessel getting a nasty fine (the LEGAL responsiblity for minors to wear life jackets on the boat is on the OPERATOR of the vessel and THAT is who the court looks to for liability).
To be clear, I have no desire at all to stop visitation with their dad...why would I? That's their dad. They need time with him. Just to be perfectly clear. I just want to be sure proper safety precautions are taken if he's boating with them.
I realize I cannot get him cited based on photos. I just want to approach this in a way that will get the result that our kids are being taken care of safely on the water. I think that's reasonable.
I've talked to the kids about boating safety before, and I obviously need to do so again. I just saw these pics last night while they were in bed. But even if THEY have a lapse in judgment, their dad should step in and correct them. This is a pretty serious safety issue in my eyes.
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
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I just want to approach this in a way that will get the result that our kids are being taken care of safely on the water. I think that's reasonable.
Absolutely perfectly reasonable. I'd want the same for my kids. The problem is in what can be DONE about it. And the only things that really CAN be done are (a) make dad aware of your concerns (b) make his parents, owners of the vessel, aware of the concerns, (c) make your children aware of your concerns, (d) make law enforcement in the area aware of your concerns. Some of those have more liklihood to be effective than others, and more immediate than others. The one YOU can have the most influence over is the behavior of your 12 year old. There's simply not a way for you, or even the court, to FORCE dad to put life jackets on them.
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even if THEY have a lapse in judgment, their dad should step in and correct them
Yes, he SHOULD. But alas...
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
Thanks. I do appreciate the advice, and I will be following it!
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
The boat may have the standard orange vests which many don't like to wear, much less have their pictures taken in.
It would help to buy them proper fitting, slimmer and cool looking "ski vests" they can pick out themselves from stores such as Academy Sports. They are a bit pricey, but worth it in this case.
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
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Quoting
aardvarc
Realistically? No. Law enforcement can't and won't cite him based on photographic evidence (officers must witness the infraction themselves).
Tickets can be issued for misconduct not witnessed by an officer, based on witness reports or other evidence, although given time constraints and priorities it's not a common outcome once the incident is over.
Re: Is There Anything I Can Do Boating Safety
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It would help to buy them proper fitting, slimmer and cool looking "ski vests"
those are generally type III vests which are not safe. if there is an accident or you otherwise end up knocked out while in the water those will not keep your face out of the water, they only serve to help if the need arises to swim a long distance or tread water waiting for rescue.
type II are usually the least expensive and best suited for calm/inland water, type I is needed for rough seas but they are also annoyingly bulky and costly and so not worth getting unless you are going to need them.