Establishing Visitation Rights When Never Married to the Childs Mother

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kentucky

So, there is A LOT to this situation.

I guess I will start at the beginning, we had a child out of wedlock, after dating for a year (My son is 2 months at the time of split up) she still remained semi nice to me because she thought I would come back after kicking me out of a house I was paying for. I left, because my sons safety and place to live is much more important than my own.

I have a stable job, vehicle, and house, meanwhile she is now living with her sister in a 2 bed room townhouse with her sister, her sisters husband, and 2 takes (She has a daughter from a previous relationship)

So just to clear it up, there is 3 adults, and 3 children (2 of which are my ex girlfriends - 1 of them are mine) living in a 2 bed room town house.

She is on every possible sort of government assistance you can get, and I get none. I work 50-60 hours per week to make ends meet, I was recently hurt at work and have surgery scheduled (through workmans comp - so I am still getting money just not nearly the same as before when I was working 50-60 hours per week).

She has not worked since she was 16, she is now almost 26.

I have made EVERY possible attempt to see my son and she will not allow it. She just says "She is the mother and she feels he needs to be with her"

I was planning on working this out outside of court, but realized it just wasn't going to happen. So I contacted my lawyer and had to pay the retainer fee so she can work on helping me out.

I guess my question is ... how can she just take him like that? He has my last name, I am signed as the father on the birth certificate ... it's like I have no options other than just waiting for my lawyer to play it out.

I just recently purchased a home, I have a job, I don't do any sort of drugs or drinking. I am not saying I am the best guy in the world, but I basically work 50-60 hours per week and relax at home the remaining time.

She has a history of run ins with the law (nothing major), she also changed the rent amount on a paper for her section 8 and is currently getting in trouble for that, an assault charge, I believe her daughter was almost truant this year ... I don't want my son raised like that. I realize I should have thought about that before I had a kid with her, and I should have. But I would not trade him for anything.

The pain of being held from your child is just absolutely unbearable ... I just want any kind of answers, or anything that can possibly help me in court.

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Quoting Qwik7

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kentucky

So, there is A LOT to this situation.

I guess I will start at the beginning, we had a child out of wedlock, after dating for a year (My son is 2 months at the time of split up) she still remained semi nice to me because she thought I would come back after kicking me out of a house I was paying for. I left, because my sons safety and place to live is much more important than my own.

I have a stable job, vehicle, and house, meanwhile she is now living with her sister in a 2 bed room townhouse with her sister, her sisters husband, and 2 takes (She has a daughter from a previous relationship)

So just to clear it up, there is 3 adults, and 3 children (2 of which are my ex girlfriends - 1 of them are mine) living in a 2 bed room town house.

She is on every possible sort of government assistance you can get, and I get none. I work 50-60 hours per week to make ends meet, I was recently hurt at work and have surgery scheduled (through workmans comp - so I am still getting money just not nearly the same as before when I was working 50-60 hours per week).

She has not worked since she was 16, she is now almost 26.

I have made EVERY possible attempt to see my son and she will not allow it. She just says "She is the mother and she feels he needs to be with her"

I was planning on working this out outside of court, but realized it just wasn't going to happen. So I contacted my lawyer and had to pay the retainer fee so she can work on helping me out.

I guess my question is ... how can she just take him like that? He has my last name, I am signed as the father on the birth certificate ... it's like I have no options other than just waiting for my lawyer to play it out.

I just recently purchased a home, I have a job, I don't do any sort of drugs or drinking. I am not saying I am the best guy in the world, but I basically work 50-60 hours per week and relax at home the remaining time.

She has a history of run ins with the law (nothing major), she also changed the rent amount on a paper for her section 8 and is currently getting in trouble for that, an assault charge, I believe her daughter was almost truant this year ... I don't want my son raised like that. I realize I should have thought about that before I had a kid with her, and I should have. But I would not trade him for anything.

The pain of being held from your child is just absolutely unbearable ... I just want any kind of answers, or anything that can possibly help me in court.

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She can take him because you have no enforceable parenting agreement.

That's what you need to get busy with, starting first thing tomorrow.

I paid my lawyer Friday, so I'm not exactly sure what she is doing, but I visit with her in the morning. Any suggestions on things to say to her? Or just let her handle it?

edit : found out what a parenting agreement is, does she have to agree to that? If she does then there is no chance I get that.

Which bit?

Parenting agreement?

I found out what the parenting agreement was, I am guessing I could get him every other weekend and some holidays on that? If I read that right.

Just didn't see if it said she had to agree to or not.

It's not that she has to agree - she actually has no say at all once the court is involved. :)

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Quoting Dogmatique

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It's not that she has to agree - she actually has no say at all once the court is involved. :)

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Lovely. I think my lawyer had mentioned that, but referred to it as emergency time share? If that is the same thing.

I should mention that I'm going for 100% custody, if that matters.

Emergency temporary custody is just that - temporary pending a hearing.

Now we know a bit about Mom, can you tell us what argument you have to convince the court that you should be CP?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Emergency temporary custody is just that - temporary pending a hearing.

Now we know a bit about Mom, can you tell us what argument you have to convince the court that you should be CP?

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I have a stable job, stable income, a permanent home ... I don't know what negative she could say towards me. She's never seen me do a drug, with only drinking on the occasion (before she was pregnant - none since she has been pregnant). I smoke cigarettes ... but not around people, I smoke outside and never inside.

I honestly don't know what she could say bad about me. Please don't take that as I think I am perfect, I am far from that, but I know I can give my son such a better life.

I don't see how she's survived for 8 years without a job and a kid ... her entire family knows how to work the system, they all get support from the government when they are more than able to work (all of them have kids).

I'm just very frustrated atm. I work very, very hard, and have since I was 14.

Yes I've never been a parent before, but there are plenty of parents that figure it out, and I can too. I can give my son every single thing he needs with zero help from the government. I made him, and I will raise him. I do not want these tax payers paying for my son. That is what she wants, and I do not agree.

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Quoting Qwik7

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I have a stable job, stable income, a permanent home ... I don't know what negative she could say towards me. She's never seen me do a drug, with only drinking on the occasion (before she was pregnant - none since she has been pregnant). I smoke cigarettes ... but not around people, I smoke outside and never inside.

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Your income, job and home truly don't make a difference (unless there are extraordinary circumstances present).

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I honestly don't know what she could say bad about me. Please don't take that as I think I am perfect, I am far from that, but I know I can give my son such a better life.

I don't see how she's survived for 8 years without a job and a kid ... her entire family knows how to work the system, they all get support from the government when they are more than able to work (all of them have kids).

I'm just very frustrated atm. I work very, very hard, and have since I was 14.

Yes I've never been a parent before, but there are plenty of parents that figure it out, and I can too. I can give my son every single thing he needs with zero help from the government. I made him, and I will raise him. I do not want these tax payers paying for my son. That is what she wants, and I do not agree.

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This is what you're facing:

Mom has status quo on her side (ie, she's been the primary parent) all this time. Now, while status quo isn't everything in a custody decision, it plays a substantial role.

All else being equal, the scales would tip in her favor.