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Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle

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  • 06-10-2014, 04:34 PM
    Anonymous.law
    Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Florida

    I would like to explain my situation and request some professional and unbiased opinions on the matter. I am currently contemplating filing a dissolution of marriage against my wife but know that there is going to end up being a battle for custody over our child.
    We married a few years ago in Florida before our child was born, I deployed shortly after our marriage and came home a few weeks after the birth.**everything was going well until about a year after our child's birth then we split up because she was talking to another guy. I had filed for a dissolution of marriage then and drug out the process for almost a year. One time while she was down picking up our son (I'm stationed in Florida and she was living with family in south Carolina) she confronted me saying that she wanted to try and work out our marriage again.
    I know it wasn't the smartest thing to accept her back without a second thought but I did.* Everything was going well for a few months before they moved back down with me. Shortly after them moving back I began to get random texts from her that were meant for someone else.* I confronted her and some of them turned into arguments while others sounded more like an opps.
    Finally I became very suspicious and decided to investigate a little on my own.* I started with reviewing text messages being sent and received, that's when I found out that she was talking to an ex from high school.* Instead of confronting her I created a fake phone number and decided to try and deter them from talking by saying things like I was going to tell her husband that she was planning on cheating on him again. This worked for a few months until just recently I became suspicious again.* I didn't see any texts this time but after checking her Facebook I seen that they were talking again.* I tried again to deter her again from talking to him but this time I installed a keylogger to her computer to see what was being said (I know, I'm untrustworthy and shouldn't have done it).
    This time instead of them stop talking they created an email hidden,* I only found it because of the keylogger.* Within their conversations they talked about marriage and kids down the road, a wedding and her plans of leaving me. Her plan was to wait until after she finished school (over 2 years) and was more financially stable so she could fight me for our child.
    This was around the time I started looking into filing for another dissolution.* My only problem is I know she is going to try and fight me for custody of our child, I myself am wanting to split custody 50/50 but with it be 8+ hours away I know this is a little harder. Another problem I am going to run into is legal fees, I do not have the money to pay a lawyer upfront the $3000+ fees for filing and legal actions.
    I guess what I am looking for is input on the situation and any advice you may have for obtaining a lawyer that will give me a fighting chance. Please be considerate on your replies, I know that I did not approach this in a professional way.
  • 06-10-2014, 04:39 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    Obviously you're not going to get a 50/50 timeshare being 8 hours away.

    Can we assume that Mom is the primary caregiver? I don't mean financially.
  • 06-10-2014, 05:04 PM
    Anonymous.law
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    Why would I be punished because she doesn't want to live in Florida? And as for her being the primary caregiver, it's debatable. She is currently out of work but looking for a job, she goes to school 3 days a week and our child goes to daycare 3-5 days, while she's at school I take full care of him. I work alot because of the military but in all honesty the care giving is split almost equally.
  • 06-10-2014, 05:14 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    Adjust your mindset. This isn't about you and/or Mom.

    Explain the distances again if you would. Right now, and in the near future.
  • 06-10-2014, 06:24 PM
    Anonymous.law
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    I know I'm thinking in the mindset of "me" not getting time with him and vice versa. But at the same time I grew up without a father and wish I had more time with one so I think that's where some of my mind set comes from.
    I live in central Florida, where my son was born and raised majority so far. We are both from Northern south Carolina which is about 8 hours driving distance away. The guy she is talking to that is trying to get her to move with him is in Idaho though, further away from any family plus myself.
  • 06-10-2014, 07:50 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    So Mom is also currently in Florida with you? And you're more or less sharing the parenting as of right now?
  • 06-11-2014, 02:42 AM
    llworking
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle
    Quote:

    Quoting Anonymous.law
    View Post
    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Florida

    I would like to explain my situation and request some professional and unbiased opinions on the matter. I am currently contemplating filing a dissolution of marriage against my wife but know that there is going to end up being a battle for custody over our child.
    We married a few years ago in Florida before our child was born, I deployed shortly after our marriage and came home a few weeks after the birth.**everything was going well until about a year after our child's birth then we split up because she was talking to another guy. I had filed for a dissolution of marriage then and drug out the process for almost a year. One time while she was down picking up our son (I'm stationed in Florida and she was living with family in south Carolina) she confronted me saying that she wanted to try and work out our marriage again.
    I know it wasn't the smartest thing to accept her back without a second thought but I did.* Everything was going well for a few months before they moved back down with me. Shortly after them moving back I began to get random texts from her that were meant for someone else.* I confronted her and some of them turned into arguments while others sounded more like an opps.
    Finally I became very suspicious and decided to investigate a little on my own.* I started with reviewing text messages being sent and received, that's when I found out that she was talking to an ex from high school.* Instead of confronting her I created a fake phone number and decided to try and deter them from talking by saying things like I was going to tell her husband that she was planning on cheating on him again. This worked for a few months until just recently I became suspicious again.* I didn't see any texts this time but after checking her Facebook I seen that they were talking again.* I tried again to deter her again from talking to him but this time I installed a keylogger to her computer to see what was being said (I know, I'm untrustworthy and shouldn't have done it).
    This time instead of them stop talking they created an email hidden,* I only found it because of the keylogger.* Within their conversations they talked about marriage and kids down the road, a wedding and her plans of leaving me. Her plan was to wait until after she finished school (over 2 years) and was more financially stable so she could fight me for our child.
    This was around the time I started looking into filing for another dissolution.* My only problem is I know she is going to try and fight me for custody of our child, I myself am wanting to split custody 50/50 but with it be 8+ hours away I know this is a little harder. Another problem I am going to run into is legal fees, I do not have the money to pay a lawyer upfront the $3000+ fees for filing and legal actions.
    I guess what I am looking for is input on the situation and any advice you may have for obtaining a lawyer that will give me a fighting chance. Please be considerate on your replies, I know that I did not approach this in a professional way.

    Dad, can you give us a timeline on things? I am unclear as to how long mom and the child were in SC, and how long they have been back in FL.
  • 06-11-2014, 04:56 AM
    aardvarc
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle
    And and even MORE important question....

    You're in the military. Are you on active duty? Subject to being deployed? If so, you're going to have to realize how unstable that makes you in comparison to mom when asking the court to order one of you to be the primary custodial parent.
  • 06-11-2014, 10:19 AM
    Anonymous.law
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    So Mom is also currently in Florida with you? And you're more or less sharing the parenting as of right now?

    Yes she is living with me in Florida for about 7 months now. So our son sees both of us regularly. Again she doesn't know that I know anything at this moment.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Dad, can you give us a timeline on things? I am unclear as to how long mom and the child were in SC, and how long they have been back in FL.

    She lived with me for about 1 1/2 years and then lived in sc for just over a year and has been back in Florida for 7 months now.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote:

    Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    And and even MORE important question....

    You're in the military. Are you on active duty? Subject to being deployed? If so, you're going to have to realize how unstable that makes you in comparison to mom when asking the court to order one of you to be the primary custodial parent.

    Yes I am active duty military that has potential to deploy, I understand how that can hinder this for me. What I am wanting mainly is time and split decision making. When we were split up the first time she would barely let me see him for a month long and it was only after she had him for almost 3. She said she would only allow me to have him for a month every 3-4 months.
  • 06-11-2014, 10:25 AM
    llworking
    Re: Filing for Divorce with a Custody Battle, Please Help
    Quote:

    Quoting Anonymous.law
    View Post
    Yes she is living with me in Florida for about 7 months now. So our son sees both of us regularly. Again she doesn't know that I know anything at this moment.

    - - - Updated - - -





    She lived with me for about 1 1/2 years and then lived in sc for just over a year and has been back in Florida for 7 months now.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Yes I am active duty military that has potential to deploy, I understand how that can hinder this for me. What I am wanting mainly is time and split decision making. When we were split up the first time she would barely let me see him for a month long and it was only after she had him for almost 3. She said she would only allow me to have him for a month every 3-4 months.

    Dad, realistically if you are deployable its going to be difficult. You may very well temporarily prevent mom from leaving Florida, but if you are ever stationed somewhere else, or get deployed, then that goes out the window. Are you career army?
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