Seeking Primary Custody and Possession of the Marital Residence

My question involves a marriage in the state of: California

My wife went through my phone a couple weeks ago because she assumed I was having an affair. Although she did not find what she was looking. Things still ended up really bad and I don't want to be with her anymore.

*Removing Personal Information*

Its very clear in my mind that Divorce should be my next step, but my concern is more of for my son. Shes said quite a few things, and I know she will fight really hard to keep him. Shes unable to take care of him completely, and as far as money is concerned I make nearly double what she does. I know ill end up paying child support unless I get full custody. I'm alright with that fact. I'm hoping to get 75% custody because of how neglectful she is. She cannot be trusted completely, and I can prove in court that she is a pathological liar.

The concerns I have are:
1. I would like to remain in the apartment we currently live in (mostly because she cannot afford the place herself, even with help from me she couldn't, and her credit score is so low she would get evicted). How likely is that to happen? Additionally she has a friend she can stay with whereas I have no one.

2. I would like either full or 75% custody of my son. I know the court system tends to rule in the females favor but shes emotionally neglectful towards my son. I've taken care of him from day one, I have consistently cared for him and was a sole provider for a while. She's incapable of even just bathing him by herself. I don't by any means want to prohibit her from seeing him, but I know if she raises him she will bring him up to hate me. Her mother did the same thing with her. What can I do?

3. Additionally I'm not entirely certain he's legitimately my son because of some of the messages she sent. I know if its found that he's not my legitimate son that I would be able to get an annulment and not be required to pay child support, but I would still want him in my life. Is it possible for me to retain custody in this instance? Shes still unfit to be his mother.

Is there an attorney that I can speak to for free about my options? I've tried looking and calling but no one has returned my call. I want to get this started so I can get it behind me.

1. If it's a rental, chances are you'll be able to stay

2. Who has done the day-to-day parenting? Not financial, but everyday stuff

3. That's completely false. Annulment has nothing to do with paternity, or child support. If you're the child's legal father, which you appear to be, then you have a choice. You either disestablish paternity, and loose all rights and obligations, or you remain the legal father with all the rights and obligations. You need to realize too that having primary does not mean you won't be paying child support.

Let's talk about unfit.

What do you think unfit means?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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1. If it's a rental, chances are you'll be able to stay

2. Who has done the day-to-day parenting? Not financial, but everyday stuff

3. That's completely false. Annulment has nothing to do with paternity, or child support. If you're the child's legal father, which you appear to be, then you have a choice. You either disestablish paternity, and loose all rights and obligations, or you remain the legal father with all the rights and obligations. You need to realize too that having primary does not mean you won't be paying child support.

Let's talk about unfit.

What do you think unfit means?

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She and I both do the day to day parenting. Recently (because it was mostly me in the past) I've been making her drive him to the sitters. She and I have different schedules so she tends to work weekends and I usually have them off. She has a couple days during the week off so she takes care of him during that time and I take care of him on the weekends.

Unfit: She's been depressed since his birth. And although I've tried everything (even marrying her) to make her happy she's still never satisfied. As for the reason I believe shes unfit, shes unable to do even the most basic tasks for his care such as Bathing him and brushing his hair properly. He smelled of chlorine from the sitters pool and she let him stay that way for an entire day. I picked him up from the sitters two nights ago and by the time we got home he was too tired to take a bath. She had the next day off and had verbally mentioned that his hair and body smelled of Chlorine. She didn't take care of it. I didn't get home till 7PM and fed him, then bathed him.

I'm fine with paying child support, I just want to ensure my son is raised properly and taken care of properly. If it wasn't for me my son would not eat home made meals. She prefers fast food and has fed him fast food in the past (hes 16 months). She also doesn't clean, I went a while with out cleaning once to see if she would take the initiative. She just kept moving things over till there was no space in the sink. there was crumbs of food all over the counters. She is too lazy to care for a toddler. I just don't believe my son would be taken care of very well in her care. Whereas, I've taken care of him since day one (she didn't get out of bed for 2 weeks after he was born. She was diagnosed with postpartum shortly after and has been affected by that ever since. She had medication, it ran out and she never got it filled again.

The situation at home is getting worse, I need to act on this as soon as possible :\

That's not unfit. At all. Not even close. And don't even dream of trying to equate Ppd with "unfit".

The court also doesn't care that you cook at home vs. Mom buying him fast food.

So now that we've established that Mom is not actually unfit, this will fall down to best interests and that's a toss-up.

Thank you, I appreciate the time.