Bench Warrant After Child Support Was Paid in Advance

My question involves child support in the State of: Michigan
Let me first start by saying my ex-husband owed child support for two previous children when we got together. I was a stay at home Mom for several years until the wolf came knocking at our door because he never kept a job. I went to work as a custodian for the school district we lived in and worked at night while the kids were home so we didn't have the extra expense of a babysitter. Every year that I did taxes I NEVER filed an injured spouse claim and let them take my taxes for two kids that were not mine so they would at least have something.
The marriage did not last and we decided on joint custody with him having physical custody because of my work schedule. When FOC first got involved they ordered me to pay over $900 a month in child support. I would have never been able to afford to live anywhere but my car. We had 3 children his child support obligation for his other 2 was only $180. a month. I had it modified to $500 a month but I had arrears for the back at $900 a month. Mind you in our divorce I walked away from our marital home and gave it to him so my boys would not have to be uprooted and could continue to live in their home and go to their schools. I had a bad lawyer because that was never credited to me and I paid the back arrears in full.
According to our divorce papers I was eligible to have a reduction in support every time I had the children for more than x amount of days in a row and when I went on Workers Compensation full time. I never chose to follow through with this because I could at the time afford to pay the full amount because I was living with someone who could take up a little of the slack and wanted to do right by my boys.
When I did go to a full time workers compensation pay (I was injured 4 times in 4 years on the job and was in the middle of a law suit) FOC could no longer take my child support directly I did not know the proper protocol in that situation so I paid my ex-husband directly with checks. I then got a letter from the FOC that I needed to pay them instead and they would send it to him. He had a fit when he didn't get it from me but I stuck to my guns. I soon got a letter in the mail that threatened to take my driver's license for arrears.
At this point I had the oldest child living with me full time because he was running into problems with the law and failing school while with his Dad. I made request for a hearing and saw Referee Rhylman and had all of the copies of the cashed checks. My ex-husband tried to say that he wasn't sure that I had paid it all. She made us sit down and total up the checks and it was proven that I paid him every dime. I brought it up at that time that I actually had the oldest child living with me and she said that I would have to schedule another hearing to be credited for that as well. Upon hearing that his support would in fact go down he told me then and there to give him back. Then changed his mind again.
I had already won my settlement against my employers and agreed to pay 10% of my settlement as my future child support obligation. I was told by the judge that I did not have to agree to this but I told him that I would gladly agree so I knew my obligation was taken care of at that point.
I then met with my ex-husband at a neutral location to discuss our oldest son moving to WV with me because I could no longer do manual labor because of my injury and I wanted to move back home close to my maternal grandmother who was diagnosed with POCD and a heart condition that was killing her. We set up arraignments for visitation with the other 2 boys and was in full agreement before I left. I had a lawyer draw up everything and moved. I soon got a letter from that lawyer that my ex-husband had been mailed the papers 3 times and had not signed them. The reason? His child support would be lowered to show I had one of the three children. He had no problem with him living with me and held me to everything else in the agreement he just wanted to be paid the same amount of money as before.
I tried to get a part-time job with a local animal shelter and worked 2 weeks before I got the call that Michigan FOC was attaching my wages for child support. Even though they were just paid over $9,000. in advance and it was for my full obligation of all 3 boys and was for more than I even made. So I quit there was no sense working for free. I contacted my lawyer and she said that she couldn't do anything until he signed those papers. If I wanted her to find out what happened to the order for future child support payments that I made it would cost me another retainer of $3,000. My income taxes for that year were also attached.
Meanwhile, he has not 1 but 2 bench warrants for him in the state I live in. The first was from before we moved he got a DUI and he never came back for his hearing and the other was for his back due child support for his other two kids. Apparently after he no longer had my income taxes going towards them he got behind and his new girlfriend was going to pay them because she was in the same boat herself having also 2 bench warrants for her 1 for back due child support and the other for kidnapping her children twice both in the state of Florida. He came in when his Grandmother passed away, his mother was diagnosed with cancer, when she passed, when her husband also passed and each time I never reported him in fact I would help with the boys (our middle son is extremely mentally impaired and could not be contained).
Then the unthinkable happened he actually moved and didn't tell me where they were for well over a month. The reason I later found out was because he lost the house I walked away from and they were homeless at that time because they couldn't get a mortgage because both of them owed back child support. This was before his mother passed away and I had the local police contact her for information and he did call me from a blocked number to cuss me about upsetting his sick mother and told me that I would know where they were when I paid my child support. What about the son who lived with me, what if something happened to him? When they finally found a way around to getting a mortgage in her name and officially moved then my youngest child was allowed to contact me and tell me where they were.
When he cam for his visit that summer he was 12 years old and told me they had been living in a local motel for that time and had hookers knocking on the doors at all hours offering sex and drugs. He told me that their electric had been shut off and his Dad had heated the home with grills. He had went to several teachers and counselors at school and told them about the girlfriend smoking pot in the house and he was so unhappy that he had thought of suicide. He begged me not to send him back. I contacted the local DHS and Michigan DHS and was told that if I felt that there was an issue to keep him. I asked a local police officer for his advice and he told me to have my child tell his father his wishes. I did so but had to go to Michigan because of an emergency ex-parte order for his return. I had all the teachers ready to testify, all the written letters and even my oldest child who was ready to turn 18 in two weeks that I had for the past 3 years. The judge wouldn't hear any of it because I "Didn't go about it the right way". She did say however, that my visitation should actually be increased. It hasn't been as a matter of fact I have only seen my boys 2 times in the past 4 years. He says when I call that I haven't given him enough notice. One summer my youngest was even sent to Florida with the girlfriends sister and I was never notified the whole summer. When I would call he would say he gave him the message and he just didn't want to talk to me.
The judge also ordered that they were not to continue to put me down in front of the child because that was and is a huge problem. They continue to call me a dead beat mom and tell my son he could have more if I did what I was supposed to.
Now that child is due to graduate at the end of this month and all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago I get a letter in the mail from the FOC about an order to appear to show just cause in why I am not in contempt of my child support obligation. I got the letter one week the court hearing was scheduled for the next Monday. I now have remarried and have 2 more children 4 and 3 was a student at WVU for the past 2 years in their Interior Design program along with my husband who is trying for a major in History and we do odd jobs. We have no money or even a car that will make that trip on a moments notice. We are in the process of trying to sell a mobile home in order for me to be able to make the trip to see him graduate. I called the FOC to ask what I should do and was treated like a dead beat of course and talked down to. She told me that I could fax what I had to them but the judge would probably issue a bench warrant anyway.
So I wrote a letter explaining my situation and asked that the hearing be rescheduled and for me to be given a court appointed lawyer. I sent the copy of the last time I was in court to prove I was not in arrears, a copy of where they received 10% of my settlement for my child support obligation, a copy of when I took my oldest son out of the schools system in Michigan that clearly stated it was for a move to WV, a copy of when he graduated here in WV. My answer was a bench warrant.
Now my son hears on a daily basis how it finally caught up to me so I am in a dilemma over his graduation. I know that if I go they will call and have me arrested and where does that leave my two younger children? What about my son and having his mother at his graduation? Why do I have a bench warrant when I paid in advance and sent them proof that they received it? What can I do?
I am so sick of being called a dead beat when I am the only one in the group that has done what is right by not only my children but his other ones. I know this is lengthy but I desperately need help and quick. Ironically the new wife just came back last week from a trip to Florida where she has the two warrants and was on the phone discussing me just yesterday. It is killing me and my poor son is going to USF in California to get away from it.

This post is ENTIRELY TOO DARN LONG for a free internet forum. Cut it WAY down. Utilize some paragraphs for the 2 very short paragraphs you're left with and get to the question QUICKLY.

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Quoting JeannieBeal

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Let me first start by saying my ex-husband owed child support for two previous children when we got together.

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What you see IS what you get. Why would you think he'd be any different with you?

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I know that if I go they will call and have me arrested and where does that leave my two younger children? What about my son and having his mother at his graduation? Why do I have a bench warrant when I paid in advance and sent them proof that they received it? What can I do?
I am so sick of being called a dead beat when I am the only one in the group that has done what is right by not only my children but his other ones. I know this is lengthy but I desperately need help and quick.

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The long and short of it is this: regardless of the rightness or wrongness, there IS a warrant for your arrest. That means that you are at CONSTANT risk of arrest, every time you step foot outside your home; not just if showing up at the children's functions. You could be sitting innocently at a red light and someone else rear end you and whamo, off to jail you'd go. There is one and ONLY one way to take care of a warrant, and that is to GO before the judge and DEAL with the reason(s) that the court wants to see you - if it's all some big misunderstanding over child support that you can prove you paid, then turn yourself in and address the issue. Given the complexities of problems in your case, you REALLY need the help of an attorney. You need to do whatever it takes to get the funds to retain one and work with them to get yourself turned in and your case resolved, or, you'll have to deal with missing out on your children's lives and living your own life on the run. Regardless of WHY the warrant is out there, it's out there and it won't go away. GET in front of the judge.