Misdemeanor Domestic Battery for Slapping My Boyfriend

My question involves criminal law for the state of: California

Hello and thank you for having me here.

I was charged with a pc 243(e)(1) over slapping my boyfriend. To make it a (truthful) long story short, that was an isolated incident, we were arguing and I was under the influence of alcohol much to my chagrin. There was no marks or anything, it was literally a limp-handed slap.

Someone else saw and called the cops, and in spite of my boyfriend not pressing charges I was still arrested. Since it was an isolated incident we're both terribly sad and remorseful.

Ok, so here are my questions -

Is there anything I can do to prepare for court? Unfortunately all my savings went towards paying my bail and the lawyers I've spoken to haven't been of much help. My boyfriend will be coming with me to court and we just want to get through this, it's been very stressful.

Should I be worried? (More than I already am)

Should my boyfriend contact the DA and say he doesn't want me persecuted and that he won't hold the responsible (or perhaps a notarized letter?)

Is there anything I can do in order to have my charges dropped before I attend my hearing or dropped at my hearing?

Anyhow, thanks in advance for any feedback. I have never been in trouble my entire life, I don't have a record therefore I don't want to plead guilty and have a domestic battery charge follow me.

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Quoting ohbehave

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My question involves criminal law for the state of: California

Hello and thank you for having me here.

I was charged with a pc 243(e)(1) over slapping my boyfriend. To make it a (truthful) long story short, that was an isolated incident, we were arguing and I was under the influence of alcohol much to my chagrin. There was no marks or anything, it was literally a limp-handed slap.

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Which is battery in California. When it occurs between people engaged in a dating relationship, it is domestic violence.

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Someone else saw and called the cops, and in spite of my boyfriend not pressing charges I was still arrested. Since it was an isolated incident we're both terribly sad and remorseful.

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As a note, your boyfriend does not HAVE to "press charges." the state will do that. CA law encourages agencies to develop a pro-arrest policy meaning that if there is probable cause to believe the DV offense occurred, the police are expected to make the arrest.

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Ok, so here are my questions -

Is there anything I can do to prepare for court? Unfortunately all my savings went towards paying my bail and the lawyers I've spoken to haven't been of much help. My boyfriend will be coming with me to court and we just want to get through this, it's been very stressful.

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Did the court issue a criminal protective order? If so, you may not be allowed near your boyfriend. If not, then it might be coming pending trial.

About all you can do to prepare for court is speak with your attorney on the issue and tell the truth if you take the stand ... not likely since you apparently DID hit him, and that admission would be as good as a guilty plea.

Also, if you talk to your boyfriend he can be called as a witness against you. There is no form of spousal privilege for paramours.

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Should I be worried? (More than I already am)

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Probably. Fines, probation, anger management and/or alcohol treatment, and a court order to keep only peaceful contact are likely in your future.

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Should my boyfriend contact the DA and say he doesn't want me persecuted and that he won't hold the responsible (or perhaps a notarized letter?)

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He can try. But, understand that about 75% of DV victims refuse to cooperate or will even LIE to protect their attacker. So, his wishes may have little impact. SOME DAs offices have forms that he can fill out absolving the DA and the police of any liability for dropped charges. So, he can always express his wishes to the prosecutor and see what happens.

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Is there anything I can do in order to have my charges dropped before I attend my hearing or dropped at my hearing?

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Not really.

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Quoting cdwjava

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Did the court issue a criminal protective order? If so, you may not be allowed near your boyfriend. If not, then it might be coming pending trial.

About all you can do to prepare for court is speak with your attorney on the issue and tell the truth if you take the stand ... not likely since you apparently DID hit him, and that admission would be as good as a guilty plea.

Also, if you talk to your boyfriend he can be called as a witness against you. There is no form of spousal privilege for paramours.


Probably. Fines, probation, anger management and/or alcohol treatment, and a court order to keep only peaceful contact are likely in your future.


He can try. But, understand that about 75% of DV victims refuse to cooperate or will even LIE to protect their attacker. So, his wishes may have little impact. SOME DAs offices have forms that he can fill out absolving the DA and the police of any liability for dropped charges. So, he can always express his wishes to the prosecutor and see what happens.


Not really.

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Thank you for the useful information. I do understand Domestic Abuse is a very serious matter as it should be and I wholly respect it.

Anyhow, no protective order was ever issued, we've been peaceful before and after the fact, like I said it was really an unfortunate incident we're both very remorseful about.

I am in So Cal do you know the name of said forms?

Again, thanks for the great feedback.

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Quoting ohbehave

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Thank you for the useful information. I do understand Domestic Abuse is a very serious matter as it should be and I wholly respect it.

Anyhow, no protective order was ever issued, we've been peaceful before and after the fact, like I said it was really an unfortunate incident we're both very remorseful about.

I am in So Cal do you know the name of said forms?

Again, thanks for the great feedback.

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There is no universal name for those forms as each DA's office that might use them might call them by something different. Not many do use them, so he'll simply have to contact the prosecutor and ask if he can drop the matter. If he is told, "No," then chances are no such option is available.

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Quoting ohbehave

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like I said it was really an unfortunate incident we're both very remorseful about.

I am in So Cal do you know the name of said forms?

Again, thanks for the great feedback.

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Why the "we" in this statement? You slapped him. He might be embarrassed at your behavior or at having a girlfriend that treats him poorly, but the remorse isn't his. You have stated twice that "we" are remorseful but that is placing some of the blame on him. Even if he regrets the fight, you were alone were in control of your actions. You shouldn't have slapped him and you need to own the full responsibility here.