Why Does the Primary Custodian Have to Pay Child Support

My question involves child support in the State of: Tennessee

For the last four years since our divorce, I have had primary custody of our 4 kids. Their mother has lived with 7 different guys, has now been married twice since our divorce, and has moved 13 times. I have tried very hard to create a stable place for the kids to grow up. Recently, our 14 year old has decided to live with his mom, mainly because she has him convinced that he can get a better education homeschooling him, than he can get in our public school system. Reluctantly I agreed to a change in the parenting plan, and child support change. She filled out the child support worksheet for tennessee. She led me to believe that her support she pays me would drop from $474/ month to $119/ month. I figured there would be a drop in the child support because my son would be living with her, but as it turns out, I am now responsible to pay her the $119/ month. If i had know this, I would not have agreed to the order. I, after all, still have primary of our 3 other children. And despite the parenting plan stating that she has these children for 113 days a year, our 16 year old hardly ever stays with her. He might stay with her once a month or less. So, I am trying to figure out what my options are. I was not represented when we filed the agreed order, and clearly I did not understand the support issue. She has remarried, and now just takes pictures for a living, claiming she doesn't make very much money. This from the woman who at one time was a Real Estate broker, a store owner, a network marketer, all at the same time. I am a single dad raising now 3 kids working as a handyman trying to make ends meet, now I have to start paying her $119/ month, and loose the $474 I was getting. That's nearly a $600 change in my income per month.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Tennessee child support is set by formula. You can download a calculator here, and can review the formula here.

If the formula dictates that support is payable to mom due to the time split and differential in your incomes, then that's why you have been ordered to pay child support to mom. If an error was made in applying the formula to your case, you can petition for the correction of the error.

In terms of your agreement to modify custody, it's too late to unring that bell. A court is not going to revisit a custody order based only on a parent's wish to pay less child support.

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Quoting daveyankee

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Recently, our 14 year old has decided to live with his mom, mainly because she has him convinced that he can get a better education homeschooling him, than he can get in our public school system.

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Technically, no...your 14 year old didn't decide anything. Because minors don't get to make those decisions, only parents and courts do. If you AGREED to it happening, no matter how reluctantly, that's on you.

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Reluctantly I agreed to a change in the parenting plan, and child support change.

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It seems like you did a whole lot of agreeing to things without thinking them through OR getting yourself some legal advice in ADVANCE so that you could understand the RAMIFICATIONS of your agreements. This is why people who don't want to shell out a few bucks for the advice of an attorney AT THE BEGINNING often end up shelling out a whole lot MORE money to address problems they created by blindly entering into things like this.

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She filled out the child support worksheet for tennessee. She led me to believe that her support she pays me would drop from $474/ month to $119/ month.

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Why were you taking HER word for it? Did you run the calculations YOURSELF? Or better yet, through your ATTORNEY?

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I figured....

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These are some of the most dangerous words on Earth.....right next to "someone told me....".

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there would be a drop in the child support because my son would be living with her, but as it turns out, I am now responsible to pay her the $119/ month. If i had know this, I would not have agreed to the order.

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But you didn't know. Didn't consult with a properly qualified person who could have answered that for you appropriately, and you DID agree to the order. Hindsight sucks. But it alone, as Mr. K has indicated, isn't grounds for the court to reopen the case.

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I, after all, still have primary of our 3 other children. And despite the parenting plan stating that she has these children for 113 days a year, our 16 year old hardly ever stays with her. He might stay with her once a month or less. So, I am trying to figure out what my options are. I was not represented when we filed the agreed order, and clearly I did not understand the support issue.

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Clearly. So why are you ONLINE and not sitting in the OFFICE of a local family law attorney, which is where you SHOULD have been long ago? You're NOT going to get this solved online. If there is ANY hope of modification, which is VERY doubtful, it's ONLY going to come at the hands of a skilled family law litigator. Get offline, and get IN to see an attorney. It really IS that simple.

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She has remarried, and now just takes pictures for a living, claiming she doesn't make very much money. This from the woman who at one time was a Real Estate broker, a store owner, a network marketer, all at the same time.

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Then have a discussion with your ATTORNEY about whether her income in the forumla should be imputed at a different amount.

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I am a single dad raising now 3 kids working as a handyman trying to make ends meet, now I have to start paying her $119/ month, and loose the $474 I was getting. That's nearly a $600 change in my income per month.

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Then you have at least $600/month incentive to get the legal help you NEED. Doing this on your own has run the situation into a serious ditch. STOP trying to do this yourself and get the HELP you NEED. THEN do a LOT of praying that it's not too late and that you find an attorney who can find some REASON for the court to look at this mess again. Not liking the dollar amount of support won't cut it. HIRE HELP!