Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce

State: California

Hello,

Here is my situation:

- I am a US citizen.
- Two years ago I married a Mexican citizen. She obtained her temporary green card through marriage and she should soon become a permanent resident (as soon as she sends the form to remove temporary residency status).
- We have a 2 year old son, born in the US.
- A few months ago, I reached the conclusion that our marriage is a total failure and will never work. I will spare you the details and I will not change my mind. So we have both agreed to get a divorce.
- My wife has 2 kids of her own that still live in Mexico with their grandmother. Both kids are teenagers, unmarried and are Mexican citizens without a tourist visa for the US.


My wife wants me to petition for both of her kids and bring them here in the US before we divorce.
I think that would be the least I could do for her. What bothers me in doing that is that if I do petition for them, I would become financially responsible for them (since I would have to sign an affidavit of support) in the event their Mom can not provide for them. My wife has a low paid job and it would be extremely hard for her not to fall under Poverty Guideline with 2 kids living with her in California.
She promised to me that if I bring her kids to the US, she would never bother me or ask for any help once we are legally divorced.

Is there any way I can help her bring her kids here without being responsible financially for them for the rest of my life (or until they become US citizens themselves which could take years)?
What advise do you have for me in such a situation? What can I do to protect myself? For me to bring her kids here would be a nice gesture but I could potentially have a lot to lose by doing so.

The terms of our divorce will most likely depend on how I address this issue. In other words, if I decline to petition for her kids, she will fight in court all the way.

Thanks for your help!

Brian, San Diego, CA

May I be blunt?

HELL NO. Don't do it. No no no no no. Please don't do it. Her other kids have absolutely no impact on you.

What exactly do you think she'll fight?

We have a son who is 2 years old. She will do everything in her power to get full custody.
I am also scared she will try to get all the assets she can. We have only been married 2 years and I purchased a house 8 years ago. I am scared she will try to keep the house or stay in the house (though she can't afford it).

Right. Here we go.

http://www.courts.ca.gov/1039.htm

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encycloped...age-29921.html

Start reading.

Thanks for the info.
But what is your reason for saying "No don't do it"?
It it just too risky for me?

Yes. It's far too risky for you.

I'm actually an immigrant myself. I've been part of ex-pat communities and there is a dreadful rise in the number of people who sign that I-864 without fully understanding the obligation.

These children aren't yours. What happens when they decide they don't want to work? Or become habitual students? You honestly don't want that.

But perhaps more to the point - why can't SHE get her teens here? Because she can't afford it. So that leaves you. And where is the father of these children? Does she even have custody?

I had no idea that, as a permanent resident only, she could bring her kids here in the US. I thought her kids would have to be sponsored by a US Citizen, in this case: MYSELF.
So if there's a legal way for her to bring her kids to the US by herself, I could just take care of paying the fees associated with the application and hopefully I won't be responsible financially for them as she will be the one filling the application. I just looked online and it looks like she need to fill form I-130.

A permanent resident can sponsor unmarried children.

Read here: http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/f...urces/B1en.pdf

She can't afford to sponsor them. But if she does, you make darned sure that your name does not appear ANYWHERE.

If you are worried about losing money in a divorce, multiply that times 10 and you have a rough number about how much bringing these people illicitly into the US will likely cost you. Hope you are not planning on retirement.

You need to consult a family law attorney so you understand how the division of assets and debt works in a divorce. You also need to discuss child custody and child support.

As for bringing her children from Mexico, why was it not done earlier? If she did not care about doing so earlier in the marriage, it makes no sense to do so now other than her possibly using them for gaining additional support from you.

I completely agree, T53147.

This stinks to high heaven. While OP is a stand-up guy for considering her kids, his wife is absolutely NOT thinking in his best interests.

I cannot emphasize this enough: NO NO NO NO NO NO. We understand you're doing what is a very decent thing....but I think we can pretty much agree that this looks like nothing other than a way to get money out of op.

This is all very good advice; so thank you!
She didn't apply for her kids earlier because she wanted them to finish their school in Mexico.
Also I had already paid huge fees (including a lawyer) to take care of her green card and adding her two kids would have cost me too much at the time.
I don't believe that my wife wants to bring her kids to the US for the purpose of getting money from me. She wants to stay in the US herself and it's natural that she wants her kids to be with her.
Like most Mexicans that live on the other side of the fence, coming to the US is a dream come true. There is no future in Tijuana. People with good jobs make 5 times less than what they make in the US. And good jobs there are pretty much impossible to find.
But I also understand that, if she brings her kids in the US and anything goes wrong, I will be liable for supporting them. I cannot take this chance. She could very well stop working and rely solely on my support to raise her kids.
I have done some research last night and realized that she can bring her kids to the US without me being a sponsor. Either she files now while she is a permanent resident, or she waits 3 years until she becomes a US citizen.

Who's going to finance the sponsorship? ;)

She'll have to figure it out.

Quote:

---

Quoting BrianSD

---

She'll have to figure it out.

---

Excellent.

Very glad you've changed your mind. There is no positive outcome for you sponsoring her children. It could be financially disastrous for you.

Quote:

---

Quoting BrianSD

---

This is all very good advice; so thank you!
She didn't apply for her kids earlier because she wanted them to finish their school in Mexico.
Also I had already paid huge fees (including a lawyer) to take care of her green card and adding her two kids would have cost me too much at the time.
I don't believe that my wife wants to bring her kids to the US for the purpose of getting money from me. She wants to stay in the US herself and it's natural that she wants her kids to be with her.
Like most Mexicans that live on the other side of the fence, coming to the US is a dream come true. There is no future in Tijuana. People with good jobs make 5 times less than what they make in the US. And good jobs there are pretty much impossible to find.
But I also understand that, if she brings her kids in the US and anything goes wrong, I will be liable for supporting them. I cannot take this chance. She could very well stop working and rely solely on my support to raise her kids.
I have done some research last night and realized that she can bring her kids to the US without me being a sponsor. Either she files now while she is a permanent resident, or she waits 3 years until she becomes a US citizen.

---

Its going to be a little more complex than that. She would have to be earning enough to sponsor them, AND they would have to be under 18 at the time.
You also have to be certain that your divorce is not going to negatively impact her green card so that her permanent residency is not at risk.

I think it boils down to trust. If she is a stand up gal who is not going to go on welfare and make herself or her child a drain on the system, who is going to be able to provide health insurance for them without needing Medicaid, who is going to be able to afford housing without going on Section 8, etc.? Or, is she the type of person who is going to milk the system (and you as a result)?

If its the former, then your risk may be slight. I have seen many Mexican immigrants do wonders with a very small income. I have actually been seriously impressed by many. If its the latter, then you already are at fairly serious risk because you sponsored her, and you will just increase your risk sponsoring two minors on top of that.

It would be a difficult decision for me to make either way. The people who are telling you to absolutely NOT do it are completely right. However, there is a side of me that would have a hard time leaving a mother and her children, and my child and their siblings, separated...particularly if there are time constraints because the children are teens.

It wouldn't be difficult for me. The teens aren't here, there doesn't seem to be any sort of relationship between the OP and his wife's other children and yes, I am incredibly suspicious of the timing.

I think OP is a pretty good guy wanting to do what he thinks is the "right thing", but I would bet my last donut that Mom isn't going to stick to any promise and OP is going to be on the hook not just for Mom but her children, too.

Have we discussed OP being on the hook for Mom's support?

Quote:

---

Quoting Dogmatique

---

It wouldn't be difficult for me. The teens aren't here, there doesn't seem to be any sort of relationship between the OP and his wife's other children and yes, I am incredibly suspicious of the timing.

I think OP is a pretty good guy wanting to do what he thinks is the "right thing", but I would bet my last donut that Mom isn't going to stick to any promise and OP is going to be on the hook not just for Mom but her children, too.

Have we discussed OP being on the hook for Mom's support?

---

We really haven't. However, the first issue in that respect is what is in the best interest of OP's two year old child? He cannot protect himself from that potential problem without screwing up HIS child's life. I am completely unwilling to go there...sincerely and completely unwilling to go there. The second issue in that respect is I have zero idea just how much additional potentially liability the OP would have with two minors added to the mix.

On top of that, I completely understand the theory of the sponsorship rules, but I honestly have seen zero practical examples of how it actually plays out in real life...or what the perhaps the garnishment rules are...etc.

We all know that when it comes to child support of your children, the worst case scenario, when there are arrearages, is that 65% of your after tax income can be garnished for child support. However, have we ever defined on these forums a similar worst case scenario when it comes to sponsorship? How clear is that? Is it as clear as child support issues or is it murkier?

This is really the big one, but there have been more than a few more recent cases:

http://www.ilw.com/articles/2006,0110-wheeler.shtm

This is excellent: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/to...and-the-i-864/

What we are seeing is that more and more immigrants are suing for support or using the I-864 to negotiate spousal support. The immigrants are winning - I haven't yet seen a published case where the sponsor wins.

It does get murky. The immigrant theoretically has to file every year - s/he can't file for future support since s/he can't predict whether or not she's working. There are only a couple of cases (out of many) where the court has ruled that the immigrant has an obligation to mitigate (read: get off his/her backside and try to find a job). The rest have specifically noted that the contract does not require this, and have ruled that refusal to get a job doesn't negate the obligation.

So...yeah, it's a bit murky.

Worst case scenario here? Mom figures out what the I-864 actually means, and uses it to negotiate alimony. If that's what she tries, Dad needs to consider going along with it.

I say that for a very specific reason. If Mom is using that, and the divorce is finalized, she's going to have a terrifically difficult time suing Dad again later on..res judicata will apply.

Quote:

---

Quoting llworking

---

Its going to be a little more complex than that. She would have to be earning enough to sponsor them, AND they would have to be under 18 at the time.
You also have to be certain that your divorce is not going to negatively impact her green card so that her permanent residency is not at risk.

I think it boils down to trust. If she is a stand up gal who is not going to go on welfare and make herself or her child a drain on the system, who is going to be able to provide health insurance for them without needing Medicaid, who is going to be able to afford housing without going on Section 8, etc.? Or, is she the type of person who is going to milk the system (and you as a result)?

If its the former, then your risk may be slight. I have seen many Mexican immigrants do wonders with a very small income. I have actually been seriously impressed by many. If its the latter, then you already are at fairly serious risk because you sponsored her, and you will just increase your risk sponsoring two minors on top of that.

It would be a difficult decision for me to make either way. The people who are telling you to absolutely NOT do it are completely right. However, there is a side of me that would have a hard time leaving a mother and her children, and my child and their siblings, separated...particularly if there are time constraints because the children are teens.

---

It did not matter to the mother that she abandoned them while they were younger with a really lame excuse about continuing their education. Many Mexican children cross the border each day for a US education.

- - - Updated - - -

Hope for the best but plan for the worst.

There may be a solution actually. It would involve having her commit her support and enter an agreement with you. It's a bit tricky obviously, but possible... Have you tried speaking with an attorney on this?

Quote:

---

Quoting ExperiencedIA

---

There may be a solution actually. It would involve having her commit her support and enter an agreement with you. It's a bit tricky obviously, but possible... Have you tried speaking with an attorney on this?

---

Okay, time for you to stop.

You're not even reading the threads at this point, are you?

I did read the thread. From a legal perspective, at least, I found the comments either incomplete and/or misleading (which is not to denigrate anyone). There are several issues that Brian will need to take into account. For example, a stepparent relationship (with immigration consequences) may already exist between him and his spouse's children simply by virtue of the marriage, whether he likes it or not. Also: his spouse will probably not be able to have her children move to the U.S. before she becomes a U.S. citizen (due to delays currently affecting immediate relative petitions by green-card holders). And who's to say exactly when she will be able to become a citizen if we do not know the details of her background. For the rest, I would abstain from passing advice on family decisions. Good luck, Brian!

Quote:

---

Quoting ExperiencedIA

---

I did read the thread. From a legal perspective, at least, I found the comments either incomplete and/or misleading (which is not to denigrate anyone). There are several issues that Brian will need to take into account. For example, a stepparent relationship (with immigration consequences) may already exist between him and his spouse's children simply by virtue of the marriage, whether he likes it or not. Also: his spouse will probably not be able to have her children move to the U.S. before she becomes a U.S. citizen (due to delays currently affecting immediate relative petitions by green-card holders). And who's to say exactly when she will be able to become a citizen if we do not know the details of her background. For the rest, I would abstain from passing advice on family decisions. Good luck, Brian!

---

Which immigration consequences would those be?

Please tell us.

9 FAM 40.1 N2.2

"The provisions of INA 101(b)(1)(B) provide for the creation of a step-relationship between the natural offspring (whether or not born out of wedlock) of a parent and that parent’s spouse. Such step relationship is created as a result of the marriage of the offspring’s natural parent to a spouse and must be based on a marriage that is or was valid for all purposes, including immigration purposes. The offspring must be or have been under the age of 18 at the time the marriage takes place in order to acquire the benefits as a child under INA 101(b)(1)(B). No previous meeting of the offspring and the new parent is required. In addition, if the marriage between the natural parent and stepparent is still in effect (i.e., the marriage has not been terminated by divorce or by death of the natural parent), there is no requirement that an emotional relationship exist between the stepchild and stepparent."

You're missing the point, I believe.

The cite only comes into play if the stepparent WISHES for the children to be considered as family for the purpose of immigration benefits.

In other words, nobody can force him to take on the extra financial burden if he doesn't wish it so.

Of course, Brian would need to voluntarily file a petition for his spouse's children. But, then again, the same would apply to any natural parent: the child would not be able to apply for a green card on his or her own, without his or her parent's voluntary petition. (Things are somewhat different in the citizenship context, but that is certainly besides the point.) So, the issue of "force" you allude to makes absolutely no legal difference in the immigration context.

Besides, wasn't Brian telling us precisely that he WISHED to help? I quote: "My wife wants me to petition for both of her kids and bring them here in the US before we divorce. I think that would be the least I could do for her."

Whether the guy really has a moral duty to help (as he seemed initially to think) is not for us to judge. The only concern he invited us to comment upon was financial. The issue was whether there is any way to meet his potential moral duty while avoiding or minimizing financial exposure. I am saying THERE IS, though it may be tricky. And, logically, whether going for a tricky strategy would ever be worth it depends solely on how important Brian takes his moral duty to be--which, I repeat, is not for us to judge.

I will leave it to that.

Glad we're all on the same page.

:cool:

- - - Updated - - -

Heck, I'll go one stop further.

You said:

Quote:

---

It would involve having her commit her support and enter an agreement with you. It's a bit tricky obviously, but possible

---

And I asked how.

You also said:

Quote:

---

For example, a stepparent relationship (with immigration consequences) may already exist between him and his spouse's children simply by virtue of the marriage, whether he likes it or not.

---

Tell us again. What kind of immigration consequences would exist "whether he likes them or not".

I really appreciate all your feedback and suggestions.
llworking is spot on when he talks about "trust". It really has to do with trust and currently I don't really trust what my wife truly has in mind.
I understand that she wants to bring her kids to the US. Who wouldn't want in this situation? But the fact that she is not working on her own towards this goal doesn't reassure me. In preparation of her kids becoming US permanent resident, she should be working hard, save money so that she would be able to offer them a decent life once they finally come here. But she doesn't. She only relies on me. She works barely 10 hours a week and expect me to pay for everything (fees for the forms, laywer etc...)
Maybe things will change once her kids come here. Maybe, as she tells me, she will work hard and become financially independent. But maybe she won't.
I read ExperiencedIA's comment about a possible relationship already existing between myself and her kids. There is none. They are not my kids and I haven't adopted them, period. (These 2 kids have been raised by their mom and their grandmother their whole life and don't even know their respective biological father.)

As far as sponsoring them to come to the US, I already see that as way too risky for me.
But I wonder, if I do bring them here, for how long would I be responsible for them? Doesn't the I-864 (Affidavit of support) expire when the kids reach a certain age? Or maybe when they themselves become US citizen?

ExperiencedIA really understood the purpose of my thread. I was looking at a legal way to protect myself in case my wife wants to use my signed Affidavit of Support to her kids to get money from me. Is there any kind of agreement I could enter with her that would make any support request inapplicable?
For example, I could make her sign a document that establishes a debt (cash) she owes to me. I would obviously never use this document against her, unless of course she tries to use the Affidavit of Support to get money from me. This of course sounds illegal but I wonder if along these lines there is something legal I can do here.

Quote:

---

Or maybe when they themselves become US citizen?

---

Yep. The Affidavit of Support applies until they become US Citizens or have accrued 40 quarters of work credit under the Social Security Act. This is typically 10 years, but can be longer if there are periods of unemployment - and longer still if these children are not of working age.

The Affidavit of Support also expires if they give up LPR status, are deported, or die.

The only legal protection you have is to not assist her in bringing her children here.

And that really is all there is to it (and you're welcome, btw).

That I-864 is quite literally a "forever".

There is no document you can make that would be safe, for this reason:

The I-864 is a contractual agreement between you and the United States Government. You cannot override it, and neither can she.

Thank you Dogmatique. I get the point.
Now the hard part: I have to tell my wife about my decision.

Okay, this might seem somewhat underhanded - but you've done nothing wrong on this thread....how about you send her here to read the responses?

Now prepare for the child support and custody proceedings.