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Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce

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  • 04-11-2014, 03:37 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    I completely agree, T53147.

    This stinks to high heaven. While OP is a stand-up guy for considering her kids, his wife is absolutely NOT thinking in his best interests.

    I cannot emphasize this enough: NO NO NO NO NO NO. We understand you're doing what is a very decent thing....but I think we can pretty much agree that this looks like nothing other than a way to get money out of op.
  • 04-11-2014, 10:35 AM
    BrianSD
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    This is all very good advice; so thank you!
    She didn't apply for her kids earlier because she wanted them to finish their school in Mexico.
    Also I had already paid huge fees (including a lawyer) to take care of her green card and adding her two kids would have cost me too much at the time.
    I don't believe that my wife wants to bring her kids to the US for the purpose of getting money from me. She wants to stay in the US herself and it's natural that she wants her kids to be with her.
    Like most Mexicans that live on the other side of the fence, coming to the US is a dream come true. There is no future in Tijuana. People with good jobs make 5 times less than what they make in the US. And good jobs there are pretty much impossible to find.
    But I also understand that, if she brings her kids in the US and anything goes wrong, I will be liable for supporting them. I cannot take this chance. She could very well stop working and rely solely on my support to raise her kids.
    I have done some research last night and realized that she can bring her kids to the US without me being a sponsor. Either she files now while she is a permanent resident, or she waits 3 years until she becomes a US citizen.
  • 04-11-2014, 04:07 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    Who's going to finance the sponsorship? ;)
  • 04-11-2014, 05:32 PM
    BrianSD
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    She'll have to figure it out.
  • 04-11-2014, 05:39 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting BrianSD
    View Post
    She'll have to figure it out.

    Excellent.

    Very glad you've changed your mind. There is no positive outcome for you sponsoring her children. It could be financially disastrous for you.
  • 04-11-2014, 05:56 PM
    llworking
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting BrianSD
    View Post
    This is all very good advice; so thank you!
    She didn't apply for her kids earlier because she wanted them to finish their school in Mexico.
    Also I had already paid huge fees (including a lawyer) to take care of her green card and adding her two kids would have cost me too much at the time.
    I don't believe that my wife wants to bring her kids to the US for the purpose of getting money from me. She wants to stay in the US herself and it's natural that she wants her kids to be with her.
    Like most Mexicans that live on the other side of the fence, coming to the US is a dream come true. There is no future in Tijuana. People with good jobs make 5 times less than what they make in the US. And good jobs there are pretty much impossible to find.
    But I also understand that, if she brings her kids in the US and anything goes wrong, I will be liable for supporting them. I cannot take this chance. She could very well stop working and rely solely on my support to raise her kids.
    I have done some research last night and realized that she can bring her kids to the US without me being a sponsor. Either she files now while she is a permanent resident, or she waits 3 years until she becomes a US citizen.

    Its going to be a little more complex than that. She would have to be earning enough to sponsor them, AND they would have to be under 18 at the time.
    You also have to be certain that your divorce is not going to negatively impact her green card so that her permanent residency is not at risk.

    I think it boils down to trust. If she is a stand up gal who is not going to go on welfare and make herself or her child a drain on the system, who is going to be able to provide health insurance for them without needing Medicaid, who is going to be able to afford housing without going on Section 8, etc.? Or, is she the type of person who is going to milk the system (and you as a result)?

    If its the former, then your risk may be slight. I have seen many Mexican immigrants do wonders with a very small income. I have actually been seriously impressed by many. If its the latter, then you already are at fairly serious risk because you sponsored her, and you will just increase your risk sponsoring two minors on top of that.

    It would be a difficult decision for me to make either way. The people who are telling you to absolutely NOT do it are completely right. However, there is a side of me that would have a hard time leaving a mother and her children, and my child and their siblings, separated...particularly if there are time constraints because the children are teens.
  • 04-11-2014, 06:20 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    It wouldn't be difficult for me. The teens aren't here, there doesn't seem to be any sort of relationship between the OP and his wife's other children and yes, I am incredibly suspicious of the timing.

    I think OP is a pretty good guy wanting to do what he thinks is the "right thing", but I would bet my last donut that Mom isn't going to stick to any promise and OP is going to be on the hook not just for Mom but her children, too.

    Have we discussed OP being on the hook for Mom's support?
  • 04-11-2014, 06:44 PM
    llworking
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    It wouldn't be difficult for me. The teens aren't here, there doesn't seem to be any sort of relationship between the OP and his wife's other children and yes, I am incredibly suspicious of the timing.

    I think OP is a pretty good guy wanting to do what he thinks is the "right thing", but I would bet my last donut that Mom isn't going to stick to any promise and OP is going to be on the hook not just for Mom but her children, too.

    Have we discussed OP being on the hook for Mom's support?

    We really haven't. However, the first issue in that respect is what is in the best interest of OP's two year old child? He cannot protect himself from that potential problem without screwing up HIS child's life. I am completely unwilling to go there...sincerely and completely unwilling to go there. The second issue in that respect is I have zero idea just how much additional potentially liability the OP would have with two minors added to the mix.

    On top of that, I completely understand the theory of the sponsorship rules, but I honestly have seen zero practical examples of how it actually plays out in real life...or what the perhaps the garnishment rules are...etc.

    We all know that when it comes to child support of your children, the worst case scenario, when there are arrearages, is that 65% of your after tax income can be garnished for child support. However, have we ever defined on these forums a similar worst case scenario when it comes to sponsorship? How clear is that? Is it as clear as child support issues or is it murkier?
  • 04-11-2014, 06:56 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    This is really the big one, but there have been more than a few more recent cases:

    http://www.ilw.com/articles/2006,0110-wheeler.shtm

    This is excellent: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/to...and-the-i-864/

    What we are seeing is that more and more immigrants are suing for support or using the I-864 to negotiate spousal support. The immigrants are winning - I haven't yet seen a published case where the sponsor wins.

    It does get murky. The immigrant theoretically has to file every year - s/he can't file for future support since s/he can't predict whether or not she's working. There are only a couple of cases (out of many) where the court has ruled that the immigrant has an obligation to mitigate (read: get off his/her backside and try to find a job). The rest have specifically noted that the contract does not require this, and have ruled that refusal to get a job doesn't negate the obligation.

    So...yeah, it's a bit murky.

    Worst case scenario here? Mom figures out what the I-864 actually means, and uses it to negotiate alimony. If that's what she tries, Dad needs to consider going along with it.

    I say that for a very specific reason. If Mom is using that, and the divorce is finalized, she's going to have a terrifically difficult time suing Dad again later on..res judicata will apply.
  • 04-11-2014, 08:34 PM
    T53147
    Re: Bringing My Wife's Kids to the U.S. Before Getting a Divorce
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Its going to be a little more complex than that. She would have to be earning enough to sponsor them, AND they would have to be under 18 at the time.
    You also have to be certain that your divorce is not going to negatively impact her green card so that her permanent residency is not at risk.

    I think it boils down to trust. If she is a stand up gal who is not going to go on welfare and make herself or her child a drain on the system, who is going to be able to provide health insurance for them without needing Medicaid, who is going to be able to afford housing without going on Section 8, etc.? Or, is she the type of person who is going to milk the system (and you as a result)?

    If its the former, then your risk may be slight. I have seen many Mexican immigrants do wonders with a very small income. I have actually been seriously impressed by many. If its the latter, then you already are at fairly serious risk because you sponsored her, and you will just increase your risk sponsoring two minors on top of that.

    It would be a difficult decision for me to make either way. The people who are telling you to absolutely NOT do it are completely right. However, there is a side of me that would have a hard time leaving a mother and her children, and my child and their siblings, separated...particularly if there are time constraints because the children are teens.


    It did not matter to the mother that she abandoned them while they were younger with a really lame excuse about continuing their education. Many Mexican children cross the border each day for a US education.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hope for the best but plan for the worst.
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