Mother Not Showing Up for Drop Off

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California-Trinity, Shasta, Lassen and Tehama Counties

My custody order was modified in December 2013. On February 7th I grounded my 10yr old from playing video games because he lied to me about getting expelled from school. This made his mom extremely angry since then she has not been showing up for drop off. I live in Trinity county, she lives in Lassen county, drop off and pick up is in Shasta county and the court case is in Tehama county. I have already filed a change of venue from Tehama county to Lassen county and was denied. I believe it is because her father is a well known sheriff officer in Tehama county but I cannot prove it. Shasta county has informed me they do not enforce custody orders and Lassen county has informed me they will escort me to pick up my kids but if she refuses they cannot make her hand over the kids on my time. I get the first and third weekends of the month from Friday 5pm-Sunday 5pm and two weeks a month during them summer. I am also allowed to speak to the kids every 24hrs and she refuses to allow them to call me back. I have consulted an attorney and he refused to take the case. I was referred to another attorney who is not taking new clients and have not found another attorney. I was told it will cost $7000-10,000 just to get an iron clad custody agreement. I am at a complete loss here and I don't know what to do. Any information would be greatly appreciated

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I was told it will cost $7000-10,000 just to get an iron clad custody agreement

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there is no such thing.

and regardless of how "iron clad" you think it is, if the other party does not comply with it, you still have to take them to court.

If the other parent is not complying with the order in place, you file to ask the court to find them in contempt.

Contempt has been filed for more than one no show and the judge has not held her responsible for any of them. It is frustrating to be in a situation where she is purposefully not complying yet is in no trouble for any of it. Seems to me that a court of law should hold her responsible for her actions at some point. Some people must be luckier than others

It generally takes more than a couple of times before the court goes further than a frown and a slap on the wrist.

Please forget the "her dad's a sheriff" stuff. Every attorney, LEO and judge knows someone else - the chances of there actually being a valid bias or conflict of interest is incredibly slim.

Is a judge wanting to see that her not showing up is a pattern? The attorney and self help centers I have spoken to have informed me multiple times that judges hate contempt filings. I don't understand why they have told me this.

Yes, that's exactly what they're looking for :)

A one-off every six months isn't going to change much. But if it's a regular, documented occurrence the likelihood of the court getting sick of Mom acting like a 10 year old (and believe me, the courts are far more sick of that than they are of real issues of contempt) rises dramatically.

The other thing is - and I think this is what the attorney and self help centers are thinking - is that far too many parents are filing contempt motions for the most ridiculous of things.

Real world example, up here in Washington: there is a restraining order between the parents, and the drop off/pick up location is public and more or less exactly half way between their respective homes. Dad brings his girlfriend along a couple of times. This annoys the hell out of Mom. She demands that the girlfriend is no longer present....and the next time, she withholds visitation because girlfriend came with Dad again.

What we have there is a ridiculous situation of two parents behaving like children. It did become a contempt hearing.

Guess which way the judge ruled.

(No, seriously - because what might seem logical isn't necessarily what happens)

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Yes, that's exactly what they're looking for :)

A one-off every six months isn't going to change much. But if it's a regular, documented occurrence the likelihood of the court getting sick of Mom acting like a 10 year old (and believe me, the courts are far more sick of that than they are of real issues of contempt) rises dramatically.

The other thing is - and I think this is what the attorney and self help centers are thinking - is that far too many parents are filing contempt motions for the most ridiculous of things.

Real world example, up here in Washington: there is a restraining order between the parents, and the drop off/pick up location is public and more or less exactly half way between their respective homes. Dad brings his girlfriend along a couple of times. This annoys the hell out of Mom. She demands that the girlfriend is no longer present....and the next time, she withholds visitation because girlfriend came with Dad again.

What we have there is a ridiculous situation of two parents behaving like children. It did become a contempt hearing.

Guess which way the judge ruled.

(No, seriously - because what might seem logical isn't necessarily what happens)

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Now you've got me curious.

Usually there are two possible outcomes:

1. Mom is spanked for withholding the child and if she does it frequently enough, she can lose custody.
2. Judge/Commissioner glares at Dad and tells them both to grow up.

Logically, it should go in Dad's favor, right? Girlfriend isn't a danger to the child, yada yada yada.

Except it didn't. The Commissioner kicked Dad's backside, told him that girlfriend is not to be present because it causes anxiety and that anxiety can hurt the child AND - because WA has given the judges an awful lot of discretion making the whole thing terrifically difficult to challenge - Dad was ordered to pay Mom's costs, and Mom could withhold visitation if the girlfriend went to pick up/drop off.

It. Made. No. Sense. At. All.

Then again, you're familiar with the actual situation (#2 adult child), and it's been a mess from start to ... it still isn't finished.

The judge ordered gf to step off and mom to quit being an idiot?

No, she ordered Dad to make sure gf wasn't there, and if gf was present Mom could withhold visitation because it would be "too stressful" for the child.

You should've seen the look on MY face.

(I was there with Mom)

It was absolutely ridiculous but there's nothing to appeal, because the commissioner didn't actually do anything wrong.