Getting Visitation After Signing Custody Over to a Child's Grandparents

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

I am the Mother of a beautifully intelligent baby boy who is now 3, whose grandparents conned me into signing over custody of him through false pretenses, and now will not let me do anything with him for no reason at all, I need help and advice please!!!!!!
I know you guys are probably thinking that I did something awful to him to deserve this but I assure you i never have and never will do anything to hurt my baby. Before I had my son his father and i used to use drugs recreationally, however his father introduced and got me hooked on some heavy drugs. drugs that I overdosed on and immediately went to rehab for, because I knew that it was getting out of hand. Something that I was able to recognize but his father has never had the ability to do. His father was hooked on drugs long before I met him and has been to numerous rehabs that, not one, has been successful. I went to one, chose to stay there, even though my son's father begged me to come home and proceeded to visit me while high and even take a call from a drug dealer while with me, until his parents kicked him and sent him to live with his sister in another state.
While I was getting myself better and my son's father was in another state trying to get better. My sons grandparents were taking care of him. In November of 2012 my sons grandparents had told me that because the maybe was under my Medicaid insurance plans, and supposedly was going to expire soon, they need to have custody of my son for him to be able to be on their insurance plan. I trusted that they were being honest with me and really had every intention of giving custody back to me when I put myself back together again. Due to the fact that we were all living with the fathers parents in their house, I took the opportunity of being in a rehab to obtain a good job and get my own place in a good neighborhood with good schools for my son to grow up in.
I have done all these things, I have been clean for going on 2 years, i have a great job, my own apartment, a car, and live in a beautiful neighborhood. However, my sons grandparents do not let me so much as take my son to get an ice cream cone with out somebody coming with me. He has not once been to my apartment that I have been living in for almost a year now. His father is now back in NY and living in the same house as our son, his mother, Father, Sister, and 2 nieces. He came back because he was not staying sober living in another state either. this past July he was under the influence and had an accident where he suffered extensive brain damage and was in the hospital from July 2013-Febraury 2014, even to this day he is bound to a wheelchair. even if he did have custody he is not able to care for our son.
When I confronted my sons father about the custody arrangement and said i thought it was only for insurance purposes, he laughed in my face and said are you serious? That's what you thought? At that moment i was devastated, feeling completely defeated and hopeless, like I was never going to get my son back, and that hurt like a pain I have never felt before.
i was completely conned into signing over custody of my pride and joy under false pretenses. My sons father proceeded to tell me that the reason him and I both signed over custody was so if anything happened they were able to care for him. Which really meant that my sons grandparents didnt think we were fit to be parents. However, for the past 1 1/2 years that the grandparents were caring for my son, legally having custody for 1 year, they have not been properly caring for him. My sons Aunt and her daughters have been caring for him, because the grandfather works full time for the city and the grandmother works full time doing book keeping, when shes not sick in bed. His nieces, who are not even 18 take him out whereever they go, with there friends, and have even driven him out of state multiple times, but I'm not even allowed to take him down the street without supervision?! My son has never even seen my apartment, not because I won't go pick him up and bring him here, but because they will not bring my son here. I have never done anything wrong to these people but do the drugs that my sons father got me hooked on, which I deeply regret!! I wish I could take that back everyday!

My son is growing up so fast and they do not even keep me updated about his school or anything....please


SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME, I NEED ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO....PLEASEEEEE

It seems more likely that we are talking about a guardianship case, than that we are talking about a custody case. Is that, in fact, what we're talking about? If so, what does the court's order of guardianship say about visitation?

It is in fact a custody case. I trusting in the grandparents, believed that they were doing this for the child, because they told me that in order for them toput my son on their insurance they had to have custody of him. Which turned out to be a lie, because to this day he is still under the states insurance plan, which they told me was going to expire over a year ago.

If it's a custody case, even though you're the parent you will - generally - need to show a change of circumstances in the child's life.

Look at your paperwork. Are there conditions? Was custody through the court? Was visitation spelled out?

it is a custody case, it was through the courts, because the granparents basically lied to me, and I trusted them. I know that is bad judgement on my part, but what's done is done. TH=he letter from the court says that I can visit him with supervision by the grandparents and that will be decided by us, basically whenever I want. However, they conned me into this and even insisted that I did not need to be there in front of the judge, which no I clearly see their motive.

Instead of repeating the same thing over and over, why don't you go get the order and type out what it says.

And for everyone else who is new to these forums and starts posting, PLEASE, for the love of all that's holy leave out this line:

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I am the Mother of a beautifully intelligent baby boy

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Everyone thinks they are the parent of a beautiful, intelligent child. I've never seen one post or one parent in my entire career that has said... I am the mother of a ridiculously ugly child who is dumb as a box of rocks.

Even though that is also true in some instances. Why do all the cute smart kids end up in the middle of their parents' life issues? Maybe people need to have more ugly, stupid kids.:smug:

First off, your response was extremely rude and unnecessary...secondly, I was reading the typed letter from the court house as I was typing a response....but i know it like the back of my hand even if I didnt go just get it..but do you have any good advice for me or just things not to say on this forum?

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Quoting mom4life

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i have a great job, my own apartment, a car, and live in a beautiful neighborhood. However, my sons grandparents do not let me so much as take my son to get an ice cream cone with out somebody coming with me. He has not once been to my apartment that I have been living in for almost a year now.

i was completely conned into signing over custody of my pride and joy under false pretenses. My sons father proceeded to tell me that the reason him care for him. Which really meant that my sons grandparents didnt think we were fit to be parents.

...but I'm not even allowed to take him down the street without supervision?!

My son has never even seen my apartment, not because I won't go pick him up and bring him here, but because they will not bring my son here.




SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME, I NEED ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO....PLEASEEEEE

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Quoting mom4life

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it is a custody case, it was through the courts, because the granparents basically lied to me, and I trusted them. I know that is bad judgement on my part, but what's done is done. TH=he letter from the court says that I can visit him with supervision by the grandparents and that will be decided by us, basically whenever I want. However, they conned me into this and even insisted that I did not need to be there in front of the judge, which no I clearly see their motive.

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If the custody order states that you can only have supervised visitations with your son, then your son's grandparents are abiding by that court order.

If you believe that your circumstances have changed, and can document that you have been clean for a couple of years, have a job and live in a safe home in a safe, clean neighborhood, then you need to go back to court to have these changes known to the judge and ask for a change of custody / visitation rights. Until that is done, the grandparents are legally in the right to not let you unsupervised time with your son.

Is it fair that their son (who is also an alleged drug addict - per you) has free access to his son ? No, it is not. But life is not fair. Unfortunately.

Good luck !

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Quoting mom4life

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First off, your response was extremely rude and unnecessary...secondly, I was reading the typed letter from the court house as I was typing a response....but i know it like the back of my hand even if I didnt go just get it..but do you have any good advice for me or just things not to say on this forum?

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I'd LOVE to give you some advice, but I'm looking for the legal verbiage in the order, not a summary of the order because I've been around the legal block enough to know that if you have to ask this type of question, then you may not understand something in the order and it helps if WE know what the order says word for word...

there isn't a custody order in this world that says that visitation is up to the "PARENTS, basically whenever they want" <--- (no order says "basically whenever they want") when the court has seen it fit that the child be under the care and custody of a third party.

The visitation whereabouts and times/hours of visitation are to be decided by the grandparents and parents of the child....and it is a custody case, not a guardianship case..


THANK YOU troubled hell! That was helpful, I know they are right in the eyes of the law, I am just extremely upset and disturbed how this mislead me into signing over custody. I can prove all of the above, I have a good relationship with them, I just hate for it to have to come to this. Even though they did me wrong I don't really want to bring them to court to force this but it seems as if they leave me no choice. I have given them not one reason to grant me the right to have my son come to my apartment, even if they come with him. He always asks, "Mommy are you going home now? Can I come see your house?" It breaks my heart. But because his grandparents are too sick to bring him out he can't.

What about the fact that the people I signed custody over to aren't even taking care of him, and they are just paying the bills?

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Quoting mom4life

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The visitation whereabouts and times/hours of visitation are to be decided by the grandparents and parents of the child....and it is a custody case, not a guardianship case..


THANK YOU troubled hell! That was helpful, I know they are right in the eyes of the law, I am just extremely upset and disturbed how this mislead me into signing over custody. I can prove all of the above, I have a good relationship with them, I just hate for it to have to come to this. Even though they did me wrong I don't really want to bring them to court to force this but it seems as if they leave me no choice. I have given them not one reason to grant me the right to have my son come to my apartment, even if they come with him. He always asks, "Mommy are you going home now? Can I come see your house?" It breaks my heart. But because his grandparents are too sick to bring him out he can't.

What about the fact that the people I signed custody over to aren't even taking care of him, and they are just paying the bills?

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Even if you do not have the necessary "change of circumstance" to overcome the custody issues you absolutely do NOT need a change in circumstance to get unsupervised visitation in your own home. So, your first step really should be to file for unsupervised visitation. At this point you could ask for every other weekend and one day a week and likely get it without much trouble.

I remain skeptical that this is a third party custody case, rather than custody being granted as part of a guardianship action, and I don't sense that you understand the nature of or importance of the procedural history of the case to your next step. I suggest seeing if you can get a consultation with a legal aid attorney, if you qualify. Check these resources.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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I remain skeptical that this is a third party custody case, rather than custody being granted as part of a guardianship action, and I don't sense that you understand the nature of or importance of the procedural history of the case to your next step. I suggest seeing if you can get a consultation with a legal aid attorney, if you qualify. Check these resources.

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I'm with you on this one. This just doesn't appear to be a "normal"third party custody action.