Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida
Background: My ex and I had a typical parenting/time share plan when he lived in Florida. He is active duty military, and has moved 3 times since then. I never changed the "local" parenting plan just in case he moved back. Found out he will not be back to the state for over 5 years, so I submitted a modification. My children are homeschooled and we do not go by the county school schedule that is on the current parenting plan. My ex will be on another coast, on a military ship. He thinks that changing the parenting plan to reflect the current situation "unduly restricts" him to the kids. Mind you, he only visits 30-40 days a year currently, while on shore duty, on the same coast. There is no way he can have them for 6 weeks during the summer, due to his job. I have given him open access to visit the kids whenever he has available leave, again 30-40 days a year. He can have more if the military allows it. Am I in the wrong for wanting to finally have the current information in our paperwork after 4 years?
Is there a "typical" visitation for out of state parents, and what about military parents who get deployed for months on end. What about children not using public school schedules?
Thank you in advance for any information.
R
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
You haven't told us what you have proposed but, no, there's no reason why you cannot home school your children and still let them visit for six weeks over the course of the summer should their father wish to exercise his parenting time.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
Many parents have to deal with long distance parenting plans. They typically include extended visitation periods over the summer and a couple of weeks for the winter holiday and spring break in alternating years. Unless he is out to sea on West PAC or an extended deployment similar in nature, there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to request and receive such a visitation schedule. Working full time while in port? He can take care of arranging day care, and if memory serves, he can obtain on base assistance with that.
You may find that the court will implement a visitation schedule in line with a traditional school schedule. I doubt that you are going to make a successful argument that because you're homeschooling, your child doesn't have the same break schedule as the schools. If anything, your schedule is much more flexible.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
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Rainshy118
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida
Background: My ex and I had a typical parenting/time share plan when he lived in Florida. He is active duty military, and has moved 3 times since then. I never changed the "local" parenting plan just in case he moved back. Found out he will not be back to the state for over 5 years, so I submitted a modification. My children are homeschooled and we do not go by the county school schedule that is on the current parenting plan. My ex will be on another coast, on a military ship. He thinks that changing the parenting plan to reflect the current situation "unduly restricts" him to the kids. Mind you, he only visits 30-40 days a year currently, while on shore duty, on the same coast. There is no way he can have them for 6 weeks during the summer, due to his job. I have given him open access to visit the kids whenever he has available leave, again 30-40 days a year. He can have more if the military allows it. Am I in the wrong for wanting to finally have the current information in our paperwork after 4 years?
Is there a "typical" visitation for out of state parents, and what about military parents who get deployed for months on end. What about children not using public school schedules?
Thank you in advance for any information.
R
No, it is not. As a homeschool, you actually have a *lot* more flexibility over not just your daily achedules, but also over your vacation / break schedules than a typical public / charter / private school would. Therefore, your ex is right in complaining that your current school year is set up in such a way as to deny him access to his children (especially since he is not local to your area).
Why not structure your school year so that you have breaks / vacations when he is on leave ? In California, the school "year" is actually only 180 days long. More, if a child qualifies for, or otherwise requires, ESY. There are 365 days in a year. Plenty of flexibility to pick and choose the 6 months you actually want to school the children, while still allowing them enough time with their out-of-state father.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
He has never had the kids for more than two weeks at a time. If he doesn't have leave, he doesn't take the kids. His decision. He rented a room while living in this other state so he didn't bring the children to him. He always came to my state, where he owns a house and would visit with them in that house.
I am all for flexibility however I am not OK with my kids going away for 6 weeks for someone else to watch them. We have never left our children with strangers. When living within driving distance (10 hours) he didn't ever once drive down on a long weekend, in 3 years! I asked him to do that, he said that would require more maintenance on his car! He would only visit in Feb. June and Dec. 12-14 days at a time.
So now he moves to another coast, who knows what his living situation will be, more than likely rent a room...and I should be OK with shipping my kids off for weeks at a time. Change everything we have done in the past?
He is able to fly, he owns a home here. Why not continue the visits here instead of flying 3 kids there, to who knows where.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
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Rainshy118
I am all for flexibility however I am not OK with my kids going away for 6 weeks for someone else to watch them.
Fortunately, they'll be with their father.
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Quoting Rainshy118
We have never left our children with strangers.
Life changes.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
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Mr. Knowitall
Fortunately, they'll be with their father.
Life changes.
While he works? While he's on 24 hour duty, every 5-7 days? You think that's OK for children? Or is our only concern for the parent? Thanks for your advice.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
During a parent's workday, children can go to school, preschool, daycare, be left with a relative.... It happens all the time, and it's perfectly acceptable parenting.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
Think of it as expanding their homeschool education. They get to see more of the country and experience different cultures then what they have at home. Work with dad in finding a school/daycare place that offers a lot of activities and/or field trips. Give them assignments while they are there such as writing a paper on what they learned each week. Have them make scrapbooks with pictures and articles on what is different and what is the same.
Schooling doesn't have to stop simply because they aren't in your control. Dad has a right as well. Maybe offer him a split of the 6 weeks (3 weeks at a time or maybe 2 weeks 3 times a year). As others have said you have more control over when the kids get vacay than what a public school kid gets.
Compromise because if dad decides to actually start living where he is then your parenting plan is going to change anyway.
Re: Is Home Schooling a Reason to Deny Extended Visits
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While he works? While he's on 24 hour duty, every 5-7 days? You think that's OK for children?
Of course it's OK for the children. It teaches them that grown-ups have jobs and models responsibility and good work ethic for them. Surely, your children aren't so fragile that they can't be with a nanny/sitter once a week?