Ex Parte Child Support Hearings

Regarding custody and support issue:

In 2001, maybe a little farther back, I received a phone call from HHS child support enforcement unit telling me that the biological father attorney had called and had requested a location to serve me with ex-parte orders: a request to service official court documents and to obtain an official address. Since I had never attended a child support hearing nor was I ever asked to attend one from the start I became curious on why the father would request for ex parte orders? The state in which I live had court ordered what is called a Uniform Reciprocal Enforcement of Support Act – define: another state was acting on the behalf of mother/child - and so I felt that I didn’t need to attend any hearings unless instructed by HHS.

Previous to this request (e.g. ex-parte), a court referee from the reciprocal state (uresa) addressed the custody as well as the support issue, without at the time, myself being present. Under paternity/custody statues and under a court order URESA which state takes preference on statute of limitations on paternity rights?? That is, who determines the order of preference when the child resides in one and the father in another? Also, can a biological father sign a paternity acknowledgment and then turn around (after signing the affidavit of paternity and support) and refute it. The affidavit was signed in front of two HHS workers – and notary time and stamped the paperwork.

(3) A request or notice filed under this section or section 43-104.02 shall be admissible in any action for paternity and shall estop the putative father from denying paternity of such child thereafter.

(**A request for blood paternity was enforced at that time)

I felt about the child custody findings of “to be determined” were not properly addressed by the court referee at that time because the determination was never reviewed afterwards or a time limit not set for a review on custody/support. And also, a time set was never established to arrange for representation. Who makes the determination on which family court systems will address custody/support? Since the reciprocal state addressed the custody issue – do they make the determination by their state statues? Is it up to the reciprocal state – or the state where the child resides to address those issues? Or is it up for grabs when a URESA is involved? Which state makes those determines? On the official child support/custody findings can personal information such the child/mother social security be listed?

Since the child is now an adult and since there might be chance that the father might retaliate – what can I do since he travels back and forth internationally? Like to Turkey/Iran.

Technically, it's the state in which the motion is being heard to decide whether or not jurisdiction is theirs. If a party feels that the state should not have jurisdiction, they are free to challenge the issue.

What's your end goal though?

No end goal – but it does place me with an understanding about the state where my child (now adult) and myself reside and also how we were being represented. I think certain court cases establish relationships all by themselves.

You specifically asked though, what could you do. About what?

It's also important to remember that what is law today may not have been law in 2001 (and vice versa).

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Quoting llworking

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I am sorry, but I don't understand your question. What are you concerned about potentially happening when your child is now an adult?

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Next time I'll remember to copy and paste my reply because everything I had written disappeared.

Since now the child is an adult and also the father has obviously tried to establish a location on us, what would prevent him from approaching him? Also, what legal recourse action do I have since the child is of age? If I try to serve the father with restraining orders how and where could I serve him? As I remember trying to serve him on a custody issue.

Back when, and when the custody issue was being addressed, my attorney tried to serve a summons by sheriff to the father's last known address. The address where the sheriff tried to serve him was not a good location also, and after trying to serve him, the sheriff division (from the receding state) received a overseas call from the father letting them know that he would be willing to cooperate with my attorney and that he would be back in two weeks. No call was ever made to my attorney's office. Later, I then received ex-parte orders for a support hearing? Again, since the hearings are out of town (URESA), I wasn't asked to go to court for a support hearing - nor was I planning on attending? In regards to the ex-parte orders, you do have to be asked to attend the support hearings - or did their attorney (assume) I would be traveling "at my own expense" to just sit and listen about the support I don't receive? Nice to know he can afford an attorney but not the support.

Also, and a question on the side bar, can a P.O box # be given under the support findings? If the father is delinquent in his support payment - how would the court system know where to serve him? Also, at the time of paternity, and when HHS couldn’t find a location – why would one government agency not communicate with another when it comes to establishing a physical proximity on the father? Like for example housing (general assistances)? FYI, most of the expenses of traveling to and from home (internationally) have been at his family’s expense.

And, why would referee address custody from another jurisdiction when there hasn’t been a support payment history established and also if the father became delinquent in his suppport payments would they send the paperwork to serve him at his P.O. Box? I think someone had a question about my goal here? Do you see something that needed to be addressed with the state/local court officials over the URESA and how it was being administered? The care of the child was in a very unhealthy way? How is this the best interest to the child, at that time? I felt that the courts left it an open mess for one side to fix financially not to mention further repercussions with legal actions on the father. Also the courts did not make a determination within a reasonable amount time - again, whose jurisdiction? Was the receding state "acting" on behalf of another jurisdiction?

A thought, when one tries to establish their intentions with the courts by an attorney – it is with a “thought” of caring and with good faith on the child’s behalf, correct? Legal custody of a child means having the right and the obligation to make decisions about a child’s upbringing. So when establishing legal custody of a child, a home life for the child and also where the child will be living is essential and how both parents will help bring up the child together – even though they are separated? Also with the tthought that the child being taken care of by doctors, having an established school, and also religious education (faith) all play a value to the child, right. As we know, the child learns to be aware of his surroundings with mom, grandparents and relatives, and good friends. So with a questionable thought why would another jurisdiction acted without merit and without an establish relationship with the child/ and family (within their own jurisdiction) and address this issue– that is, the father’s family has never established ties to the child. There was no communication with the the father’s family and never in good faith. Why open that door (issue) when you know what’s inside – “A very little key will open a very heavy door.”

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Quoting cremmes

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Since now the child is an adult and also the father has obviously tried to establish a location on us, what would prevent him from approaching him?

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What would prevent the father from approaching the child? The child from approaching the father? Nothing. Grown-ups are allowed to contact each other.

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Quoting cremmes

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Also, what legal recourse action do I have since the child is of age?

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Legal recourse for what?

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Quoting cremmes

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If I try to serve the father with restraining orders how and where could I serve him?

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You would serve him where you can find him. But why do you imagine that a restraining order is appropriate or warranted, given the facts that you have shared, and what is it that you want to restrain him from doing?

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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What would prevent the father from approaching the child? The child from approaching the father? Nothing. Grown-ups are allowed to contact each other.

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Alright - here's the scenario. Let's say the father has other children (in which we base the argument) there's been an understanding on the interact with previous parent ('s) and also the parents' ability to communicate with the other children (now adults) on a continual basis. (Contact and communication) If the other partners were having the same similar problems with the father and underneath the same circumstances - then it becomes an issue.

If this was an isolated issue then it would be different, but it's not. In black and white (no shades of gray) why start the contact and communication without the other parent's knowledge - why "not" approach the person who has cared for the child (now an adult). Why hide it? And also why wait until their adult to start communications? It isn't easy as a child? You make it sound that walking back into the child's life is easy. In the same gesture - a child who has been adopted starts to look for his or her real parents (as an adult). When he/she finds them, it is a real life change (or event). The steps are sometimes to ask the permission to visit; you don't just drop by and say "hi" I'm your son or daughter? In the same way, you don't just drop back into someone's life and say "hey" I'm your dad. This to me would be a shock.

Yes, we are all grownups – and we need to respect others when it comes to contacting each other properly.


Legal recourse for what?

the above

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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You would serve him where you can find him. But why do you imagine that a restraining order is appropriate or warranted, given the facts that you have shared, and what is it that you want to restrain him from doing?

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Another scenario and one that is very familiar to some on international law; Since the father has dual citizenship, does the child (now an adult) have dual citizenship, as well? - if the relationship between us was on friendlier and approachable terms then there would be no problem and if, the relationship was on good terms between the father and his child (again) I wouldn't hesitate to be at peace with this. However, and as we know, when one or the other parent has an underlining hostility in which threats have been made then legal action can be an assurance for everyone’s safety.

The department of Health and Human Svcs was called at the time when the father came to see the child, and without the court’s intervention. Now I wish I had gone to attorney before I gave the okay to all of this. I felt that I gave the “opening” to that opportunity without first seeing if the father or family had contact an attorney prior to the visit. After calling my worker and letting her know that the father was in town, I thought we could approach the courts together and set up (or establish) support. The first question out of my worker’s mouth was “how did get here?” at that point, I then asked the father to speak with my worker but neither one wanted to talk with each other – but also the supervisor in paternity did not want the father to fill out the child support forms or to see them, he wanted me to fill out the financial (support). Now that I opened the door – openly to the visit, it was a hard lesson but I had to (also) shut the door because the relationship/communication was not heading in a good direction. The whole episode of the support and visit was a mess – and now, I feel, that I’m left with more problems, more long term. Why do I feel and taste the word “retaliation” – the way it started off was a way for the father to see his child but it ended up being a nightmare.

You're not making any sense. You're not making your questions clear, you left out all the states involved, and you seem to just want to make your own rules and laws.

Support and visitation are two separate issues. If the child(ren) are now adults, then any issue about contact / interaction / visitation with the father is between the child(ren) and the father. You have nothing to do with that aspect at this point. If those adult children don't want contact, they have avenues including saying "no" all the say up to getting a restraining order, to facilitate that. You can't get an order on behalf of another adult; they'll have to do it for themselves. All you can do regarding dad is continue to pursue any child support he still owes to you (and the state will continue to pursue him if he owes monies to the tax payers).

Dual citizenship is not necessarily as black and white as it appears. Some nations will not recognize dual citizenship. Others will but only for specific reasons.

Next, PO boxes. Well, in some places (like here) residents sometimes have NO OTHER OPTION than to use a PO Box for their mail.

As has already been said, you have absolutely no control or input whether or not two adults contact each other. None.

Finally, what - AGAIN - is your end goal? Custody = non issue. Contact between parent and adult child = not your business.